I am in a bad situation. I hired a lady to help me with everything basically. She's worked for me since COVID. Lately she's been stealing from me why?

[sage2021]

I have been staying with a friend for a few months now. My apartment I was living in for 8 years was ruined by the heavy rain and the ceiling caved in. So they forced me to move into a way smaller apartment than the one I had.
So all my furniture had to be thrown out. And a lot of my things never made it from my old apartment to the new one.
Lately some of my things have been stolen by this lady that has worked for me for year's.
When I ask her what happened to my things she tells me to chill out and she will find them. Only she doesn't even look for them because she knows she stole them from me.
She told me if I accused her of stealing my things again she will quit on me.
She also helps my friend I am staying with because we can't do the things we used to be able to do.
We don't know of anyone else to hire to help us. No one!!!
We cannot survive without outside help. Doing grocery shopping, laundry, errands, etc.
We have been very nice to hear always. She has told me she isn't a nice person and she has done some bad things. She doesn't believe in God and I am a Christian.
I wouldn't care if she left today if I had someone else to help us.
So, she continues to steal from me and if I say anything to her about it she is going to quit.
I don't even know the severity of the things she has stolen from me, but it's a lot. Even some of my clothes.
She goes in my apartment when she knows I am not there, but at my friend's place. That's when she does it.
I know you are going to say to fire her, but we really need someone to help us with living.
Any opinions are appreciated.
Thank you.

[RavVid]

Difficult. Can you line up a replacement first before sacking her. I'd at least secure jewelry and valuable stuff.

I appreciate it is not easy. Local gov't would help people in my country but I don't know about yours.

[Surely]

Don’t know how much that you are paying her. Plus the items that you think she is removing from you. To put it nicely. If there is an “Office of the Aged!” Near by. Maybe they can help you.

[sage2021]

@Surely
I don't know what they are.
I think I might use the 211 system. They have resources for just about anything.
Thank you!

[Surely]

Thank you for the MHO!

[Daniela1982]

Don't you have a church to help you? You can call one and tell them your situation. They probably will be able to find someone to help you. You need to get rid of Larceny Lucy.

[sage2021]

@Daniela1982
I wish I did have a church family but I don't.

[RetroReviews]

@daniela1982 right on good idea

[RetroReviews]

@sage2021 you don't have to be a member of a church or even attend the church for them to help you. Just go to Google and start searching for churches in your area and start calling them. I had a church in my area recently help me and I don't attend their Church. It was St Vincent de Paul. But a lot of churches will be willing to help you out if you reach out to them. You got to take care of this I'm in your corner you have my support.

[sage2021]

@RetroReviews

I am going to contact the Calvary Chapel in my town. Maybe they know of a good Christian woman who does caregiving.
Thanks!

[Daniela1982]

The Calvary Chapel here in Costa Mesa has like 7,000 members. They are good people.

[Cutegirl06]

I don't know why. But instead of asking us this question, you should be asking her and then fire her!!

[sage2021]

@Cutegirl06
There is nothing wrong with coming here to my friends and asking for opinion's and as you can see, they are more than willing to help me out. Plus they are concerned for my well being.
You are the only one having a problem with me asking my question on here.
Maybe you should mind your own business cute girl NOT!

[Makeushiver]

I think theft like that usually is a response to feeling either underpaid or underappreciated. Has your fried who also uses her have any suspicions that she has been victim of theft?

[sage2021]

@Makeushiver
I am not in contact with the other person she takes care of.
But she was accused of stealing an old person's pain pills a long time ago. She denied it.

[sage2021]

@Makeushiver
This lady is not underpaid by all means. Almost every thing she does she changes $50!
I treat her very good and am always nice to her.
I tell her all the time how much I appreciate what she does for us.
There is even a bag of Hershey chocolate bars in the refrigerator just for her because she loves them.
She has been working for me since COVID days so it's been years.
She is very unhappy with her husband and they fight constantly.

She see's that I live alone and my apartment is pretty nice and I think she is jealous of me. So she might be acting out by taking things from me. She also pulled my smoke alarm off the ceiling when I wasn't there and I am afraid to tell the property manager because she will ask me how she gets into my apartment. She has a pass key that opens all 135 apartments. She had the master key taken away by the property manager but I guess she had another one made. So she goes in my apartment when I am not there.
Now I have another problem to deal with because I will get in trouble if I don't have my smoke alarm detector up and working.
I just don't know what to do.😢

[7Phoenix7]

Have you thought of moving to an assisted living facility?

[sage2021]

@7Phoenix7
These were assisted living apartments when I moved into them. And for about the first 4 years it was great.
Then the owners sold them. The new owners turned them into "Apartment Only" apartments and took away all our food and all of the other amenities we had.
I was actually starving without any food for a while when this first happened.
Now I can no longer afford to live in an assisted living apartment.

[7Phoenix7]

Ohhh I see. That's unfortunate, I'm sorry 🫤

[FunkyMonkee]

She's a crook! Fire her and turn her in to the fuzz.

[sage2021]

@funkymonkey
Can't fire her I said. No one else to help us.
Think of something else okay?

[RetroReviews]

Dear sister I'm with funky monkey on this one you're two options are fire her and get rid of the thief or continue to put up with it that's your two options

[FunkyMonkee]

You can't find someone else to help?

[sage2021]

@funkymonkey
I wish I knew more people out here but I don't.
To be honest, I don't even know where the "F" I am. I got moved here 8 years ago by my 1/2 brother and his crazy wife.
I used to live in a very nice area with low crime for 18 years.
Then tragedy struck and my whole life fell apart.
Not only did I lose my son, but my roommate/friend and my caregiver was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with carbon monoxide poisioning from the apartment we were living in. He collapsed in the middle of the night trying to go to the bathroom and smashed hit face because he fell face first on the VCR, the television and a table. He was pretty banged up and sick. I was sick and bedridden when all of this happened on 11/11/15.
An ambulance took me very far from home to a wellness health care center to get me better.
So, we lost EVERYTHING!
My brother and his crazy wife just had hired people to haul all of our stuff away.
I had a nice $27,000 car that the maintenance guy at the apartment building bought for about $4,000 which my brother kept. I had probably around 14 thousand dollars they found and I never saw a penny of it when I got out of the wellness center. And they moved me and my friend where I live now. I have no idea where I am or where anything is.
I haven't seen my son for several years except one night for a few hours last Christmas.
So, now here I am again getting my stuff stolen. Not that I have much because I had to start from scratch with nothing, not even clothes or underwear. Nothing.
It has taken me 8 years to get the bare essentials back. And when the ceiling caved in on everything in my apartment because of the heavy downpour of rain I had to throw my furniture out and a lot of things went missing or was destroyed.
So, I am so done with people!! And her stealing what little bit was saved is beyond me wrapping my head around what's happening to me AGAIN! And I have to pay her while she steals my stuff?
I am livid.

[FunkyMonkee]

is she bonded? If so, she can get into HUGE trouble for that!!

[sage2021]

@FunkyMonke
She is a caregiver working for the State taking care of other t. But I don't want to mess with her. She knows people that would hurt me bad and mess me up.

[FunkyMonkee]

Even police?

[RetroReviews]

@sage2021 contact her employer, they don't want their workers stealing from clients. Tell them you want someone else surely she is not their only worker. Please stand up for yourself and fight. Please don't let this continue

[sage2021]

@RetroReviews
Unfortunately she is self-employed.

[FunkyMonkee]

There ARE other, more reputable, companies!

[RetroReviews]

Then you need to contact an agency in your area like job and family services or coalition of Care coalition of housing she cannot be the one and only person in your area that can help you it cannot be that helpless I refuse to believe that

[ProbablyClueless]

She's stealing from you because she's short sighted and she thinks she can get away with it.

[sage2021]

@ProbablyClueless
She is getting away with it and that's why she keeps doing it.
She has me up against the wall here and she knows it.
I am pretty sure she is on drugs too.
I found a straw in my trashcan that looked like it had been lit up at the end, like burned. And there had been something in the straw cause it looks dirty.

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm sorry you're going through this! It's always so painful to watch the way addicts hurt the people around them. Are you part of a church or some other organization that could set you up with a more ethical care aide?

[sage2021]

@ProbablyClueless
I think I am going to call a Calvary Chapel church. There is one in the city I live in. I hope they can help me in some way.
Thank you!

[Danny_dan92]

I would find another helper honestly