What can I do? I have a strict mom?

[Anonymous]

I am an 18-year-old girl who has never been in a relationship. Growing up, I was sheltered and experienced feelings of loneliness and depression. I want to be like other teenagers my age. These emotions have persisted, and I continue to feel sad, depressed, and isolated. Im still a virgin and she refused to let me have sex. If I do have sex she’ll get mad.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Well, I would get a few things figured out before I jumped to sex, personally.

Listen, I am a Christian. But I am also very familiar with spiritual abuse and controlling parents. There are times to withhold information and do what you need to do to protect yourself and move forward in life.

You need to get a job. A job will give you money, which gives you freedom. Find a nice, Christian missionary-type organization or church group (preferably not a cult) that your mother can have no possible objection to. Preferably in another state, or at least 8 hours away.

Tell her you feel God has called you to go to this organization and that you feel "convicted about your sinful relationship" with your guy friend (you don't need to actually break up unless he won't support your escape. Just make it convincing). Tell her you need to get away from the temptation of lust and get away from him. She should buy it, because that's her current fixation.

Once you've escaped, that's half the battle. Now, once you get to said Christian organization, use it as a halfway house while you scout for another job and housing. Within that organization or a more typical church (more modern is better), find some good people you can be friends with and begin building a support network. Set a schedule with your mom right away of only talking for half an hour once a week. Tell her it's your work and volunteer schedule and they are very strict.

Then, after you figure out a budget and what you'll need to earn to cover your housing, transportation, food and insurance costs, transition to your new place. Don't tell your mother where you live or what your job is. Just make everything seem normal. During this period, get a good therapist and tell them everything. Not a Christian counselor, an actual therapist. Eventually, she'll get edgy about you being out of her control and want to see you. Just make a plan to meet somewhere halfway to save her the drive. Then, tell her the wonderful news that you just got a new job and have your own place now, and isn't it great!

Expect a blow-up. She will freak out. But if she has a shred of decency and isn't totally brainwashed, she'll eventually accept it. If she is, be prepared to lose the relationship for a while, if not permanently.

Sex should be placed on the back burner for a minute while you get all this other stuff figured out, if you really want to have your own life. Just my perspective!

[Nikki1989]

Move out. You are more than old enough.

[Asker]

I don’t have money like that

[RebelinSteel]

What is preventing you moving out?
can you go to college, university, get a job some place further away.

she has control in the house as it’s her house, however you are 18 so you have a degree of independence.

too much control can be very bad.

[MrGSpotHer]

It is hard one to answer what's the legal age for sex where you are also have you tried to speak to her maybe find a job and say your thinking about moving out might change her ways..

[Asker]

Legal age is 18

[MrGSpotHer]

Try and speak to here maybe it's out of wanting to protect you

[MrGSpotHer]

Thanks for the most helpful thing, if you want to ask anything else I don't mind okay

[Asker]

Thank you

[MrGSpotHer]

No worries hope everything works out

[kylee2437]

How is your mother going to know your business when two people having sex usually does not involve a parent standing in the room with them? The world is yours girl, you’re 18 and old enough to go find around life.

[Asker]

I sneak out to hang with a guy friend she kept accusing me of having sex with him and I’m 18. She treats me like a little kid

[Asker]

I don’t have control over my life that’s getting to me you don’t understand

[kylee2437]

@asker tell her oh well. It’s none of her business to know your business.

[Asker]

I live with her

[Asker]

She keep telling virginity is important if I lose my virginity I won’t be pure anymore

[Berethor]

Well many guys value girl's virginity, you not a ho.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[Anonymous]

Considering you’re legally an adult she can’t stop you from anything. Unless you’re still in her house then do whatever you want. If you still live with her then woek on moving out and then do whatever you want. Go to college and make friends.

[jahaims]

You're an adult. Move out