Would you break up?

[hereandthere90]

I, 33 (m) and my girlfriend of 2 months who I had been dating for 6 months before becoming exclusive, just had a conversation about how to raise kids. The topic just came up in conversion, and we both hold total opposite views on the matter. I believe that as a loving parent, it is unacceptable to beat your child as punishment. I hold this belief because I was occasionally beaten as punishment when I was a kid, and I have always told myself that I would never do this to my own children. She on the other hand was beaten as a kid, with a belt, and believes that after all it did not hurt her and straight forwardly said she would hit her kids as punishment (e. g. for not doing their homework and getting a teacher's note).

We had a calm discussion about this where I explained my views and fave examples of situations and explained why I believe there ware other ways to educate children. However, her only real point was, that it didn't harm her in the long run. However, I am not so sure about that, because of how casually she mentioned she would be OK with hitting a child.

We also disagree on other topics, such as religion and lifestyle. However, for now these have not created big fights, but I am sure they will down the line.

Would you break up with her?

Yes

No

[NathanDavis]

I wouldn't break up right away, but I know I would not start a family with her...

the problem I see is... that she would punish them, and beat them over something that it would be the responsibility and the fault of the adults

if kids are not doing their HOMEwork is because their parents at HOME are not involved and supervising them as they should, and if she sees the kids as the problem, and has the idea of punish them physically in top of that... that's just not how I go about things, lol

[HollyK21]

I think the topic of spanking will always be one of those things where you either agree or you don’t, there’s not really a middle ground to be found. Same goes for wanting to get married or have kids — you’re either in or your out. I say this because unless you’re willing to compromise then there’s no point of staying in the relationship, and I don’t think this topic is something comprisable. Like you’re probably not going to be cool with her spanking your kid here and there, and she won’t appreciate you stifling what she feels is a fair punishment as a parent in that moment.


There’s no way you wouldn’t butt heads about this in the future, the only problem would be that now there’s a little life (maybe even marriage if you two were to wait for that) and it’s much harder to walk away after so much investment vs now where you’re hardly a year in with nothing keeping you tied together.

[Apple1996]

It doesn't matter as of now because you do not know how you are gonna parent cause you haven't met your kids yet. Before having kids I was against a lot of things including spankings. Even after my 1st I was still against it then my little devil of a 2nd child was born and a lot of those things I said "never" to changed. So you really won't know what you are gonna do as a parent until you are in that situation

[Iron_Man]

No, you shouldn’t break up and I believe there’s nothing wrong with spankings kids don’t respect being sent to the bedroom to be grounded. They’ll just watch TV or play video games or get on the computer or cell phone or do something else and laugh, but they will be held accountable for their actions if they think they are going to get spanked. Then they might not do the bad actions that they did to get in trouble in the first place

[missindiana93]

Yes if that's her idea of punishment.