Would you befriend a guy/girl that you DO NOT trust enough to date your brother/sister?

Question

New scenario and a followup to the parent question  (in which I said I would disown both the friend and parent)…  I never understood why some guys/girls wouldn’t be cool with their friend dating their sibling. Like why are they good enough to be a friend but not good enough to be an in-law? I fell for a lot of few of my best friend’s brothers and although the friend was supportive because they knew I had good intentions , their parents felt otherwise.  With one friend, her mom constantly referred to me as her “daughter” but the moment I took interest in her son  (which she didn’t find out until like years later when my mom ratted out our interest in eachother)  then the mom said I was no longer allowed to come over to her house. I didn’t understand why i was good enough to be her “daughter” but not her “daughter in law”.  It was even more weird because her youngest son liked my little sister and she seemed supportive of that. I liked her middle son and he seemed to like me but was shy about it while her oldest son made it clear that he liked me. And she had an issue with either of them liking me. So for those who would not want their friends dating their siblings, why not if you trust them enough to befriend them? (And just for this scenario, pretend that your friend and sibling are in the same age range to make things less awkward. And if you don’t have a sibling just pretend you do) # FeelFreeToList

MicahRaine · Accepted Answer

I would be casual friends with someone I wouldn't want dating my sister, but anyone who is a close friend of mine would also be trusted to date my sister.

Casual friends could be coworkers I hang out with sometimes or just friends I never get close to. These people don't know me super well, and there's probably a reason they aren't part of my inner circle. Or maybe it's just because they never put in the effort and a friendship has to start as a two way track. Either way, there's a reason I wouldn't want them dating my sister.

Example: I once had a casual friend who was a good guy. We'll call him Patrick. Patrick was an Irish goldmine of sorts. Funny, great work ethic, smart, and rich family. One day my sister caught his eye. He told me immediately that he was attracted to her. I told him that it would never work out, and as such was off limits. He respected that. Why wouldn't it have worked? Patrick liked looking at woman, his interests were wildly different, and he was anything but her type. Some people can work past those things, her included. But I knew he couldn't, and so he wasn't ready for her.

Close friends would be people I trust with my problems and who trust me to know about their life. We know we can trust either each other. We know that we have to put the work into our friendships and relationships.

Example: I was VERY close friends with a guy we'll call Tristan. Tristan was a good guy. Complicated, but one of the best guys I know. He ended up falling for my sister, and I was all for it. Why? Because while he and my sister had differences, they both understood what was necessary for a healthy relationship and were willing to do the work.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Whoa that's a lot to take in. I can see why that would be a weird situation. For me, it depends on the friend and sibling I guess. I have a few siblings, but here's what I think:

- If it's a really good friend that I completely trust, and my sibling is a good person too, then I don't think I'd have a problem with it as long as they really liked each other.

- But if I didn't totally trust either the friend or my sibling, or wasn't sure about their intentions, then I'd probably be a bit more hesitant. I'd want to make sure nobody would get hurt.

- It could also make things awkward between me and my friend if they broke up. Then I might feel like I have to choose sides or something.

- And I guess parents just wanna protect their kids sometimes. Maybe that mom was worries her sons didn't really know you that well yet and didn't want them to get hurt or move too fast. Parents can be overprotective.

- Overall if it was meant to be then I don't think I'd stand in the way of two people I care about. But I'd have to really trust both people is the main thing.

So yeah, I can see both sides for sure. Trust is important. Weird situation with that mom though!

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

No! I would never be friends with someone whom I couldn't trust to date my brother! Now, in all fairness, I would feel pretty weird if any of my best friends began a romantic relationship with my brother (although who knows, knowing him and his crushes on my friends, it’s probably happened already, they just didn't tell me!).

I’ve known my 6 best friends since 3rd grade, and Kurt (my brother) has known them since he was in 5th grade. We’re like family, so it would be like my brother and sister dating each other! It really would be weird, but as I said, I would never be friends with someone I could not trust to date my brother, so I guess if they did, as soon as the ick wore off, I’d be so happy for them. But i’f let them know keep me out of it, and if it doesn't work out, that’s on you two, and it’s none of my business.

I hope this helps.
Laura. 🤗 🥰

alice55 · Accepted Answer

I would be okay with my friend dating my sibling (if they were close in age of course), I mean I know them and trust them if they're my friend so

molonski2 · Answer

Some of my friends , and I'm going back in time thinking this though , are pretty dam dodgy , now you can ask " Why are they my friends " ? reasonable questions , I'm not quite sure , but I'm going back to my 20s , and maybe they should NOT have been my friends and I didn't select well then ( but I didn't care ) , all my siblings are wayyyy older so its irrelevant , but your question assumes correct age..

I would have been very concerned , as all my male friends were absolute Fck boys , that's simply how it was , so yeah , I'd be very concerned..

Assuming my sister , didn't just want a quick fck.

RavVid · Answer

To be a referee than I really do have to think the person will perform well in the job they are going for because it diminishes me if they are crap. So it is tied up in the same considerations.

A few years back a girlfriend's girl friend asked me if I had a friend just like me. I did have a single friend at the time but i had to say I couldn't recommend him because I knew he would cheat on her if he got the opportunity.

So yeah I could be friends with a guy and because I know him, I know he is not to be trusted with my sister or any other female I have benevolent feelings for. It might go in the reverse as well - I might think a female friend is to be trusted with a male friend.

Inherently i think you are taken as a character witness in the scenario and as I started with I take that quite seriously.

Anonymous · Answer

I spent 10 years in the service. While I had friends who would die for me, get in a fight for me, no matter what it was they were always there. But I also know how a lot of them treated women. Not all, but a lot. I had two friends who always had threesomes. They’d always tell me about it. One in each hole banging her from the front and back. All the vile things they’d talk about doing to girls. That’s how I know. Like I said no doubt in my mind they’d die for me, but in regards to my sister or something, no lol Plus to me I don’t think. your bro should date your sister. Especially if he’s a really good friend. Friends are hard to come by these days. I don’t need my friendship going to shit if things don’t workout w them.

Lliam · Answer

A friend dating my sister is a bad idea because if he hurt her feelings or if they broke up, I would be obligated to remain loyal to my sister. I probably would no longer be able to be friends with him.
By being related to my sister, I would automatically be in the middle of the relationship. I couldn't be neutral.
When a friend has a girlfriend, I don't have to worry or think about what goes on between them. I don't have to take sides.

MisterWack · Answer

“I would be okay with my friend dating my sibling (if they were close in age of course)“

I know it isn’t my place to tell a friend who to date / not to date so, I would be open to the idea though doesn’t mean I can’t have my grievances in private unspoken. If they are close in age, two consenting adults, and love eachother very much who am I stand between them.

Phoenix98 · Answer

If I did do that it would purely be to find out whether he is trustworthy or not.

I don't even make friends with my sisters own fiancé not because I don't like him or don't trust him but just because I pretty much look at him like he's a child aside from that I have to many responsibilities to spread my time and money out like that.

I'm friendly with him though.

ohmyguy · Answer

I'd think so i don't pick who I associate with including such stipulations as a criterial credential
..
Bro n sis do as they please..
My guess conducts him self well there likely be no problems vice versa

Same should go for girls.. different concidrations under different circumstances.

AviatorTom · Answer

When I was much younger, I dated my best friend's sister. I was well-liked by their family, who later told me they thought we'd get married. That didn't happen though. My best friend did end up being best man at my wedding and me at his.

matchrestore · Answer

My standards for friends are slightly lower than my relationship standards, but most of my friends are decent enough people that I wouldn't be afraid of them dating a sibling.

DJB72 · Answer

I'd be ok with it if I had a sister, on the understanding that if he hurt her I'd hold him while she rips his nuts off. Not sure about it with a brother - I mean what would you rip off?

NathanDavis · Answer

if I don't trust someone enough... I just won't get involved like that with them, period

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Yes, because some people might not be relationship material but they might make for a good friend, maybe not a close one, but still.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. If I don't trust you I won't date you. Period.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No siblings, but I would  not  befriend someone I did not trust with my closest, lifelong friends.

justabuddy · Answer

So... I think people can be great friends, but poor girlfriends/boyfriends. The mindset can be different. Depends on what they value more.  So the answer is yes.

moneymagnet24 · Answer

Recently I start having sexual relationship with my friend mom... so I never faced this situation. She. Her daughter trust me more on bed. 🤌

nawtee_me · Answer

Probably didn’t trust you…. lol. You know how Mona’s are, it is not their son’s fault…..

Abdulwahh · Answer

Yes ill just be straightforward with him regarding my sister.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Hell no. All my friends are degenerates.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Very good survey, let us read the public views

DishLady · Answer

Nope.

eagle1951 · Answer

nope

Would you befriend a guy/girl that you DO NOT trust enough to date your brother/sister?

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Would you date a person that is a very close friend to your sibling?

Would you befriend a guy/girl that you DO NOT trust enough to date your brother/sister?

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Would you date a person that is a very close friend to your sibling?

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