Why do kids need 2 parents?

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with being raised by 1 lovely single parent? People keep saying kids will grow up fucked up unless than have 1 father and 1 mother.

What about kid born to lesbian or gay parents? 2 women raising a child or 2 men raising a child? Would all their kids be fucked in the head too?

isn't a good childhood completely based on the quality of the single parent rather than the number of parents? 1 amazing parent isn't enough for your entitled ass? You need 2?

I grew up with 2 parents. I had a father. He was such an awful father that I wished I never had a father. Sometimes you're really better off with no father than a bad father.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

The ideal is both birth parents bc of stability. Same parents through kids whole life & ideally both good parents. But when that's not the case I agree with u that quality is more important than quantity or variety.

I've had 3 parents thanks to divorce. They all had their fuckups that messed me up as a kid, but when I needed her as a kid my mom was there. & now when I need him as an adult my dad is. Sure it's a weird sort of tag-teaming they did, but I always had 1 okay parent. It could have been worse.

My friend is a single mom. She wanted the father to be involved, but he didn't. The kid's doing great anyway, hitting all the same milestones & loves playdates with my kid (who has both birth parents).

Yeah she has harder time without that 2nd parent role filled, & yeah maybe when the kids older they'll be upset they don't have a father the way a lot of their friends do, but it's not rlly a bad situation that needs to be "fixed." Forcing the father to come back & join their family would not go well.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

(Last reply to @dizzydeii cuz she blocked me) That doesn't explain. U could mean it shouldn't be allowed for a same-sex couple to adopt. U could mean u just wouldn't personally get married to another woman and adopt a kid with them. Could be anything or in between. Ur not being clear. That's not my fault u assume everyone uses disagree to mean the exact same thing.

[Asker]

@goldfish_smile

Its fucked up how some people see same sex couples as inferior people where they cannot be good parents.

[ɹǝʇʇɐɥpɐW]

Well, it's about statistics, I suppose. You're right that the quality of the parent (s) is what matters the most. A single parent is more likely to be overwhelmed, to struggle to support their child. Not just financially, but also with their time and energy, as they'll be working, tending the house, caring for the child, and everything else. By their self. Is that always the case? No, but the odds are what they are.

Can two gay men or two lesbians raise a perfectly healthy, happy child? Of course. There's not much statistical data to suggest otherwise, that I'm aware of. If anything, I suspect the greatest hurdle for that situation is less so going to be the parents themselves and the environment the children will be forced to endure. By that, I mean the public and how they are likely to perceive, speak about, or treat this family. That's going to have an effect, whether we like it or not. And while there's a lot we can do to make life at home comfortable, there's very little we can do to control what happens when we step foot outside our own door.

So, purely based on probability, a "traditional family setting" is more likely to produce good results. That's why some people push for it as the "right way." But does it really matter? It's always a roll of the dice, regardless...

[HawkPerception]

You don't NEED 2 parents.

Having the dynamic of a father figure and mother figure can be helpful in raising kids in a helpful environment, but not absolutely necessary. A mother can be the one that a kid goes to for emotional support... the parent that always babies her kids and makes sure they're comfortable. And a father figure can give tough love. If a kid falls, he can be the one that encourages them to get back up on their own. Roles can also switch, but mothers tend to be the more overprotective ones and fathers tend to be the ones that want their kids growing up strong to face the world.

Now obviously there are abusive parental relationships, in which case it's better without them than with them.

And one parent can fulfill both the emotional support and tough love role, but it's much harder to balance the 2 roles as one parent. This doesn't mean that the kids will end up messed up. It just means that the job of single parent is harder than when they have the support of their partner to balance them out.

[coxoabean]

You need a father because without a father that is why so many people are broken hearted today. Because so many fathers aren't being the fathers they need to be or because people simply don't have a father in their life.

This is a movie you should definitely watch! It will explain why we need a father so bad in our life!

Here is the movie

https://youtu.be/4ynQIy4moeg?si=Y39AgTobTjA0Gtv_

Here are some short clips of the movie, it explains some, but the movie is really good and so is every movie the Kendrick brothers have made. They also just came out with a really good movie called "The Forge" I encourage anyone who can to watch it! It took shows why we need a father. All of their movies are based on that and the family.

https://youtu.be/Je1_N6FCKnE?si=WufWZntp9LHrdOcfhttps://youtu.be/0in9qperIlU?si=pQgAfGMZ-uKy_hwF

[Simslover92]

I grew up with only one parent in the household and I think it's made me damaged and not know how to choose the right guy. Had I had a father in my life, I probably would be married by now with kids.

Not saying this is for every woman who grows up with just a mother to raise them, but statistically speaking, girls are more likely to end up with douchebags in their 20s and even 30s than finding a good guy to be with because they didn't have a father figure to teach them how to find a good man.

[Asker]

Well your mother never taught you how to find the right guy. She simply didn't teach you well. It has nothing to do with you not having a father in life. I had a douchebag as a father, it did mess me up where I did find myself tolerating more BS from guys than I should. But I learned from my mistakes.

Its harder to take responsibility for your own mistakes than to blame it on the fact you never had a father.

[Asker]

If i had a daughter as a single mother, i will teach her everyday on how a decent person or any decent man will behave and act in life. Its not that hard

[Phoenix98]

Because no matter how loving and amazing that one parent is they will never be a replacement for the other parent.

A mother no matter how wonderful will never be able to replace and fill in that void that only a father can fill and will never be able to give a child that strong male role model that they are looking for.

Same thing applies for a father they will never be a replacement for a mother and a strong female role model, etc.

I'm sorry your childhood wasn't great and that your father was horrible but it doesn't change anything I've said. And the same tragedy can occur with single parents as well.

[Asker]

You failed to mention what can't be replaced

[Phoenix98]

I very clearly did you just don't care your comments on this page show me that much.

Your deadset on your opinion being the right one regardless of any argument someone else makes. Someone like that is not worth having a conversation with because it's the equivalent to talking to a brick wall.

[Nirmroth]

Its the balance. A father and a mother will have two different views and can teach you each stuff that the other part is lacking in. Furthermore two parents simply have more time for you than one parent who has to juggle work, household, private time and spending time with the child all alone.

Im sad to hear yoj had a fucked up childhood but if you experienced parents that both love and care for you its a blessing and I am thankfull for what my parents did and still do for my sister and me.

[Asker]

Mother and fathers different views don't teach anything to their kids if theyre both uneducated and lacking in wisdom. I had 2 parents , both of whom were uneducated and had absolutely no wisdom to pass onto their children. They had views, not particularly intelligent views.

[Nirmroth]

Yep but that wasn't your question was it?

[Asker]

Views mean nothing. Good views come from quality of the individual than quantity. An intelligent educated single parent may very well have much better views than 2 uneducated parents.

Quality over quantity. More isn't always better

[Nirmroth]

Yes but your question was about 2 parents vs one partent. And if we think about both of them beeing equally good then 2 parents are better than one

[Finchie40]

Because of genetics , a child has his/her mother and father in them, no matter what. Whether your Dad’s an asshole or a drunk piece of shit or your Mom is a raging bitch whore that causes a bunch of drama etc.. The child is still going to love their parents no matter what , the child can hate them be upset with them , want nothing to do with them anymore etc. the child is still going to have a connection with both parents’ so children ’need their parents’ so yes 1 person can raise a child , but 2 is better than 1 Just because a woman carries the baby , it took the father to start that process , and make that baby with her so it always takes 2 not 1

[SamIam96]

Society tries to force on us, the notion that the only difference between men and women is our genitalia. That simply isn't true.

Sure, there is a lot of overlap between what each sex teaches a child... The truth is that women are not men and men are not women. Without imposing any value, both genders impart a unique perspective. Both of which makes their children better.

That said, I was raised by a singe mother. She was the best father I can imagine. She was girly and strong. And, and, and...

For hours, I've been typing and erasing the myriad of ways a single parent can be great -- and they can. Still, I think it's easier and better for that amazing parent to have the help of an opposite gender parent to turn a child into the happiest, best balanced adult.

[molonski2]

I only had one parent mother from 7 years old , my father was in a car accident , and it was utterly horrendous , children * like it or not , need the balance of both a mother and a father , my mother certainly needed that , check and balance , she had 5 children , and was passive / aggressive , and very offensive , she needed my fathers lead.

Now , we are talking here what is ideal , and this is what's ideal , the role of a great father is absolutely pivotal.

Its Sad that your father didn't measure up , but this is not true of all mens , I played a 50/50 role is the life of my daughters growing up , absolutely vital role , which must never be taken away where possible.

[lightbulb27]

It helps for them to have adult support. Can be hard doing everything yourself. As well, the kids have differening personalities that one adult may not be able to understand and handle. HAving a different perspective helps.

What if the one parent dies... is there a good support transition to other family? In reality, it helps to have a village!

that said, one parent is better if the one parent is really bad. If your village is rotten, then better off living in the woods with the bears.

My village was really good, I'm thankful. Nobody is perfect, I had good parents, but they had their misgivings and flaws.

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad parent, but glad you had one good one. I hope you get to a place where your kids, if you have them, have two good parents.

[lightbulb27]

I think my wife could raise her two kids alone, she's a teacher and I'm step parent, understands kids and does well handling their issues. But I think it helps for her to have support

[RingOfFire]

There are many studies that show that children that come from a family with a father and a mother a happier and more successful in society on average.

Millions of years of natural evolution didn't happen for nothing. The nuclear family of a male a female and children is the building block of any strong society for a reason. Males and females have different roles as parents which contribute to the strength of a family and the survival of the species. It takes both to instill the maximum chance of success in children. Nature designed human beings that way. So anything that deviates from that nuclear family creates more of a chance that the human species won't survive. And survival is nature's most important function for any species.

[Drewtate]

Girls raised without father's are 70% more likely to work in the sex industry and boys raised without father's are 80% more likely to end up in prison. Both are more likely to have substance abuse issues. The black community has been devastated by single parent homes.

[Taniisokay]

Depends on the father. If you don't want to deal with your ex that's doesn't mean they can't raise the kid with you separately obviously.

If the father is dead then you can raise your child alone and when you got a new husband then they can raise the child with you.

Children needs both their parents. You have also you siblings and family too. It take a village to raise a child. Cheer up. Not every men is like you father. Peace to you.

[Asker]

Not everyone has a perfect life. You can't expect everyone to be lucky like you to have 2 amazing parents who never divorced, amazing relatives, siblings, friends, community, uncles and aunts who adore you

Talk about what you want but at the end of the day as long as the child has at least 1 good parent in their lives, that is the most important basic need for a good childhood

You can have a whole village raise your child, none of them as good as the amazing single mom. Quality over quantity

[CuriousHubby]

So your mad that you can't just have one parent and your shoving that on those who only had one!

Honestly it takes a man to make a man and your father was no man.

Ever good man will tell you Thier father figure and often like you it's not Thier bio dad

[natured]

NEED no, WANT yes
i never had a dad growing up and i turned out fine, my mom did an amazing job and I honestly never had a messed up lifestyle nor did I have daddy issues... I think it all depends from that ONE single parent left and how they manage and 2. it also depends on your character and personality
SO NO kids do not need 2 parents, they need PEACE and LOVE by either one of them

[MisterWack]

It allows that child a better quality of life, doesn’t matter male or female or “traditional” though it matters that this child gets the support they need. There needs to be two parents working together or else it falls apart.

Without support, the child is on the wrong path in life.

[CrazyGirl2]

Damnit! I would have LOVED to answer this. My in-depth knowledge of a child’s psychological development, could have added much to the conversation. But I don’t answer anonymous questions. Maybe ask it again under your username, and I’ll be happy to answer it.

[sawno]

I'd like to know and am not anonymous :D

[AviatorTom]

Kids don't need two parents, but it's better for them if they do. Men and women are different, and it's important for the kid to learn that st an early age. Two parents also has the advantage in caring fir the kid. One parent can have some personal time while the other one cares fir the kid.

Put simply, two parents are ideal, but not absolutely necessary.

[genericname85]

i can not tell you exactly the mechanism. but among pretty much anything that can happen to a child, having just one parent has the most significant negative impact on it's later life.

having a single parent correlates very strongly with low social status and higher likelihood for criminal activity and mental disease later in life. that's why kids need 2 parents.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Actually a single father raised kid has statistically the same results as a kid from traditional two parent home

[genericname85]

@Oncewildtwiceburned not quite the same actually. It is notable, that children rised by a single das have slightly better outcomes specially in crime rates but otherwise having a single parent is very bad even if it's the dad.

[DizzyDesii]

I’ve seen single parents perform miracles. So if a single person wants to adopt, I don’t see a problem with it. However, I do not agree that same sex parents should raise a kid. I just don’t. But to each its own

[GOLDFISH_smile]

What if a single parent adopts a child and then gets married to a same-sex partner?

[DizzyDesii]

@GOLDFISH_smile to each its own but i still dont agree with it

[GOLDFISH_smile]

So wym by "don't agree"?

[DizzyDesii]

@GOLDFISH_smile i dont see a problem with a single man or single woman taking care of a kid. But if there were to be a couple taking care of a kid, i think it should be a man and woman

[GOLDFISH_smile]

So u don't think to each his own, u would rather if someone's gay they can only adopt if they stay single? Or u just think it's bad but it should still be allowed for some reason? Or what? Ur kinda confusing in ur answer it sounds like ur saying 2 different things.

[DizzyDesii]

@GOLDFISH_smile it sounds like im saying regardless of what i think, to each their own cause people are gonna go do whatever they choose. can't help it if you're confused

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Then why even say what u think if ur just gonna be vague and not explain it, & not think anything should change bc of it anyway? U still haven't said what u mean by u disagreeing.

[DizzyDesii]

@GOLDFISH_smile Girl if you can’t read, just say that. I clearly said above that if the kid is going to be cared for by two people then it should be man and woman (meaning not woman woman and not man man)

[Asker]

@dizzydesii

Both parents being man or women dont make a difference. As long as both individuals are good individuals who know good parenting then thats all thats necessary. I have seen lesbian or gay parents be way better parents than many heterosexual couples

[Benjiman19]

I suppose it all comes down to who the parents are. Will they treat their children with compassion, with respect, with love, or will they beat their children, traumatize them... Whether there is one parent, two parents or even a gay parental situation. The love that comes from them is going to effect that child no matter what.

[nawtee_me]

Ideally two parents is best. I was a single father raising two sons and I can tell you it is hard being mom when kids need a mom.
I am sure it is just as hard for a single mom to have to play dad when the kids need a dad.
It is not impossible because I did it and I know women do it all of the time.
Are you a single mom?

[Asker]

Why would a parent need to play both mom and dad? Why can't a man be a good parent? Why can't a woman be a good parent?

What about kids born to lesbian or gay parents? Who pretends to be dad and mom in these cases?

[nawtee_me]

It is not about who plays what role. It is about meeting the kids needs with whom they need at that moment. Kids need mothers to nurture and fathers to protect. A child will bond with each differently and need both. It doesn't matter if that comes from one mom or one dad or one of each.

[Asker]

What makes you think a dad can't nurture? You need to stop it with your sexism. As long as the dad loves the kids to the utmost, thats all the kids need. You really dont need all the additional extras such as trying to be the most nurturing person on the planet.

No parent is perfect. All parents will be missing something or not as good at something... but as long as kids have a good parent who tries their best and loves the kids... thats all the kids need.

You dont realize you're talking from a place with a lot of entitlement. No childhood is perfect. You can have the most amazing parents but your parents may not have the financial resources to give you a college education

[art84]

My nieces are (9/7) with just a mom in the picture. Their father still sees them on the weekends though the girls have definitely been affected not having both parents together. They wish things were the way they were when they were little. My brother has remarried and I am sure it makes my nieces look at their dad as he didn't want to be with their mom.

[strateguy632]

When courts "defend crominals" who didn't have a father we see both parents were needed.

Liberals saying both: defend criminals but the other liberal stuff about parents and gender, are the worst hypocrits.

[Twalli]

What about a mother? What if your mother was a bad mother, but your father was a good father? Do you think that a girl can ever grow up with only a good father and no mother? The quality of parents matter. It's better to be raised by two good parents than one bad and one good, or just one who is good.

[ParamountMajestic]

It’s just statistics. A father in the household and a mother in the household to share different roles and be examples of what a woman and a man should be in life is great to have.

[Ladsin2]

Single mother's have the worst outcomes for children out of any parental structure I'm aware of. If you grow up in a single mother household you're more likely to be poor, have negative health outcomes, more likely to end up in prison, mental health diagnoses', suicide, etc.

[Levin]

Well, we're talking about ideals, but seldom is anything ideal.

But yes, two stable parents with good morals, who can embody the divine masculine and feminine between them is ideal. But what we lack is our opportunity for growth in life.

[Sabretooth]

Both provide for the child's emotional and mental development. Studies show kids development emotional and mental health issues when they only have one parent. I suppose that you could hope for a gay kid... Outside of that? You're gonna have problems.

[ManInChains]

Warren Farrell on successful parenting. Children need 2 parents -

https://youtu.be/D5ExMuHT0-k?si=aDw9hFw7AT0o78Zv

[purplepoppy]

People use that claim to stop abused women seeking divorce. It's better to endure for the sake of the child.

However no one tells a mother at her husbands funeral that her kids are now doomed.

[SugarSugarplum]

It's not ideal. boys AND girls need examples of male and female energy in their youth. Male energy is adventurous, female energy is protective.

[HelpfulWoman]

The thing they should care about is the positive role models of either gender. doesn't have to be relatives.

[NamerOfStars]

For the same reason you need two eyes: the Kurgan hypothesis.

[Asker]

Just because you have 2 eyes, it doesn't mean those eyes work well. Just because you have 2 parents, it doesn't mean theyre good parents

[Asker]

Better to have one good working eye than to have 2 eyes that doesn't really work.

Better to have 1 good single parent than to have 2 bad parents

[NamerOfStars]

... Someone doesn't understand the Kurgan hypothesis.

[missindiana93]

Because you can't manage taking care of them without a father figure or someone to watch them so you can take a break in life. Having children is a lot of work and cleaning.

[Asker]

Some people have higher stress tolerance and are willing to work hard. I have seen enough of married couples where the mother works a full time job and does nearly all the house chores and parenting. Dont think life gets significantly easier as a married mother.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Having two parents is better because there's help in raising them.

Being a single parent will drain a lot of your energy in particular when the child is small, so having someone else to give you a break is very helpful.

[Nikki1989]

I am not 100% convinced they need any once they hit their teenage years.

[Anonymous]

Because statistics do not lie, being raised by a single parent automatically puts you at a disadvantage.

Most criminals, drug addicts, rapists, child molesters, teen pregnancies, high school drop outs, and so on are from single mother homes.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Often, over 90% consistently in alm state prisons were not raised in the same home as their biological father.

[Opinion Owner]

Yup exactly

[ProbablyClueless]

Having 2 parents seems to (generally) be better for a sense of balance in life, but as you know; a crappy parent can do a lot of damage.

[DannyUk2017]

Because the "advises" you'll need to get through life are not always known by just One Parent!

[Rosexøxø]

Same thing as why a baby penguin needs both parents. 👍

[Anonymous]

Because pretty reliably, the parent who thinks that doing it without a partner would be a good idea is a complete and total retard. That being the case, having a second parent around is preferable.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Children don't NEED two parents, but have both in the home (in a stable, non-abusive home) gives them a leg-up on success for reasons I'll mention if asked.

[OtterMan68]

One good parent is better than two bad parents or one good and one bad parent.

Two good parents are preferable.

[LiamJHayden]

Ideally, the two loving parent home is best statistically.

[Vanny20]

Raising kids should a collective task and not an individual task

[noohair]

You did not have a father, you had a sperm donor.

[Walksbehindtherows]

I am a Christian. The family consists of a man and a woman.

[Kingofkings1992]

It’s about balance. Fathers provide things mothers simply cannot, and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

not having a dad can mess a girls self esteem

[thearchjoker]

Mental health and wellbeing

[Maybeyoutoo]

Because God wanted it that way

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Being an atheist can’t help them out of this one either

[jahaims]

Look up the statistics

[grega239]

Because nature said so.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You can't bring your kids at work.

[MemeSupreme]

bruh

[MasterKS]

only mother is more than enough!

[Peridot25]

Unless she’s abusive and a druggy. Then what?

[MasterKS]

@Peridot25 that could be worse! Sadly!

[OddBeMe]

Statistics.