How am I supposed to manage my time with school and work when my relatives are in town?

[Anonymous]

I just found out that my cousin (that I’m not fond of) is in town. Nobody said a damn thing. My dad called and straight up asked what I was doing and I said homework. Then he said my cousin is in town and the family is going to be there and asked if I wanted to go. I reluctantly said sure since my family will wonder why I didn’t come. Always happens when I don’t come or show up. Anyways I have a lot of homework assignments this week and I work 40 hours of the week. If it was holiday break then I wouldn’t mind.
My cousin gave me HELL when we were kids. I never liked it when she came in to town. She bullied me and played with me roughly since I needed to “toughen up”. I’m autistic and I can be timid. Well used to be. I’m always the butt of every joke she made.

[razelove]

Ok, so call back and say that your schedule is more packed than you thought, and not only can you not hang out, but they can't come over, and you won't leave your room.

Tough shit, why make time for them? I had a couple cousins who tried stealing from me, one who sided with my ex-wife after my divorce. I cut them out of my life, 100%, they're dead to me and I will gun them down like dogs if they come to my house.

My relatives used to try to pressure me into talking to them as well. When I made it clear that the only time I would see them again would be to piss on their grave, they gave up on that.

[WindAtMyBack]

Easy. Don't go visit your cousin. Do your homework instead. You are under no obligation to visit your cousin, especially when you don't even like them.

"asked if I wanted to go"
So you lied?

"wonder why I didn’t come"
Then tell them why. Or don't. Either way doesn't matter.

You need to learn how to say no, and how to stand up for yourself. Because if you don't, you will have people controlling you the rest of your life. The sooner you start to stand up for yourself, the better.

[Abbycado]

You’re an adult and agreed to it. Why? You can’t tell people no?

[Asker]

I could but she’s in town and family goes first. Plus I’m autistic

[melnc]

You don't have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation, especially with a history of being mistreated. If you feel the need to attend for family’s sake, set boundaries and limit your time there. Stay for 30 minutes and... hit the road🏃💨