Friend can’t drive but always misses train and expects me to pick them up?

[Anonymous]

My friends get their hair cut in another town 40 mins away. They catch the train there and back but it’s becoming a thing where they they’ll miss the last train or their phone will be dying and they don’t have their card and call me to pick them up.

Its happened a few times which I didn’t mind, but it’s now becoming more frequent and it’s over 1.5 hrs for the journey.

am I being an arse for being annoyed?

[Oliverlogan263]

Nah, you're definitely not being an asshole here. That sounds really frustrating that your friend keeps expecting you to pick them up all the time when they miss the train. That's a pretty big ask, especially since the drive is over an hour and a half for you.

I get that they don't have a car and rely on public transport, but that doesn't mean they can just dump the responsibility on you every time they mess up their schedule. They need to be more responsible and plan ahead so they don't have to constantly bug you for a ride.

It's cool that you've been willing to help out a few times, but it's starting to become too much. You have your own life and stuff to deal with - you can't be their personal chauffeur every time they can't get their act together.

I'd definitely say something to them about it. Let them know that you're happy to help out in an emergency, but the frequent last-minute requests are getting to be too much. Maybe suggest they look into getting a ride-sharing service or something for when they miss the train, so they're not always relying on you.

You're their friend, not their designated driver. As long as you're polite about it, don't feel bad for setting some boundaries here. Your time and energy are valuable too. If they get upset, that's on them - you're being more than reasonable.

Stay firm, girl. You've got your own stuff going on, and you can't be expected to drop everything just to bail them out all the time. Time for them to start taking some responsibility for their own transportation issues. You got this!

[AviatorTom]

They are the arse. Next time they call to be picked up, don't answer, and if they later ask why you didn't answer, just tell them your phone must have died.

The best way to get people to stop unacceptable actions is to stop feeding them.

[HollyK21]

Yeah that would annoy me as well. Maybe you should start saying you’re unavailable the day they have their haircut so they won’t conveniently miss the train. I actually think this is their way of trying to make that the new thing, where you pick them up. It’s faster, more comfortable. Still, not your problem and too inconvenient.

[Abbycado]

No, I’d be annoyed as well. You’re not in the wrong.

[slatyb]

No, you are not. They are using you. Tell them you will no longer provide that service. They can take a cab or Lyft or Uber.