I've been texting this guy, who does not have a car and lives about 50-60 min from me.
We had arranged first dates but he cancelled at the last minute or on the same day, twice. Then he would ask me to drive all the way to meet him. First time he said he had plans with his friends but forgot.
For both times, we arranged in a way that he'd take the train to a train station that's about halfway and I'd drive halfway to pick him up to the restaurant we were going for first date. Both times he acted like he was going to make it but cancelled at least minute.
This time he finally expressed unwillingness to meet me halfway. He wanted me to drive to him (That's 50-60 min without traffic, but for dinner I would be going there during rush hour, and that's about 1 hour 20 min drive, the city he lives in is also very notoriously congested as I've worked there before and had seen it). I'm not even considering parking fees here for the city.
He said he doesn't like taking and waiting for the train because sometimes it gets delayed and said I didn't understand his point. I said I did because I'd taken the train (plus buses) when I worked in the city that he lives. We're only meeting once (Meanwhile, he meets his sister by train once a month).
I asked him to go halfway and I'd pick him up, but he wants me to go all the way to him, and said it's "easy" for me because I have a car. He said he would pay for dinner (or first date) if I go meet him where he is. He also said that if I thought he's worth it I would've made efforts. Okay, and what effort has he made? It seems like everything has been for his convenience. Imagine if I were to get into a relationship with him, I would be going 100% all the time, it's not even 70/30.
Am I being unreasonable, or is he?
We had arranged first dates but he cancelled at the last minute or on the same day, twice. Then he would ask me to drive all the way to meet him. First time he said he had plans with his friends but forgot.
For both times, we arranged in a way that he'd take the train to a train station that's about halfway and I'd drive halfway to pick him up to the restaurant we were going for first date. Both times he acted like he was going to make it but cancelled at least minute.
This time he finally expressed unwillingness to meet me halfway. He wanted me to drive to him (That's 50-60 min without traffic, but for dinner I would be going there during rush hour, and that's about 1 hour 20 min drive, the city he lives in is also very notoriously congested as I've worked there before and had seen it). I'm not even considering parking fees here for the city.
He said he doesn't like taking and waiting for the train because sometimes it gets delayed and said I didn't understand his point. I said I did because I'd taken the train (plus buses) when I worked in the city that he lives. We're only meeting once (Meanwhile, he meets his sister by train once a month).
I asked him to go halfway and I'd pick him up, but he wants me to go all the way to him, and said it's "easy" for me because I have a car. He said he would pay for dinner (or first date) if I go meet him where he is. He also said that if I thought he's worth it I would've made efforts. Okay, and what effort has he made? It seems like everything has been for his convenience. Imagine if I were to get into a relationship with him, I would be going 100% all the time, it's not even 70/30.
Am I being unreasonable, or is he?
Updates
6 mo
On the other hand, I've dated a guy who took a train to meet me halfway while I drove halfway, and he paid for lunch even though I asked if he wanted to split. I think all this guy had said is just excuses, aren't they?
Updates
6 mo
I personally do not want to compromise for anyone who's unwilling to even meet me halfway. Am I unreasonable for having this mindset? Or does anyone think that he's right and I should go all the way to him while he does 0% ?
