What are your thoughts on messaging a girl on Facebook that I know and went to high school with?

[Anonymous]

I was thinking of messaging this girl on Facebook. I used to talk to her in high school. We would walk out of class that we had together talking. She was always a sweetheart. But we haven’t talked since high school about fifteen years ago. We are friends on Facebook. What I’m hoping out of this was catching up. If it turned out to dating great but I’m more interested in just catching up. What are your thoughts.

[SleepingHazard]

Just reach out to her and send something like: "Hey, I was just thinking of you and wondering how you're doing. We haven't talked in a while, so maybe it would be fun to catch up if you're okay with that. How have you been doing?"
If there's something that made you think of her, or reminded you of her, mention that too. She might as well be pleasantly surprised to hear from you.

[Asker]

Well she commented on a recent post I put up. I had surgery done. She commented saying “Thankful you are healing! Feel better (my name) 💪🏼❤️.” I went to send a dm but I had already back in 2016 and it was ignored.

[SleepingHazard]

Thank you for mh.

[Caroline91]

I would always be happy to hear from someone like that. I mean she did at least accept or send a FB friend request. And, if I were single, I would be happy to catch up and... if it turned out to dating? Great. No reason not to at least take a first step and see.

[Asker]

I went back on my messages and I seen that I had sent a message back in 2016 but she ignored it. Just recently I posted that I had surgery and she commented saying “Thankful you are healing! Feel better (my name) 💪🏼❤️”. What do you think? Should I still send a message?

[Asker]

I was always shy in school by the way. But I’ve come out of my shell.

[Caroline91]

You don't know for sure that she "ignored" it. That's an assumption and people miss out on a lot of things bc of assumptions. There are a myriad of possibilities as to why it may have gone unanswered. And, if she did ignore it, 8 years is a long time and a lot of things can and do change in that amount of time. What I think is that you are way over thinking it. I mean, you don't need to know if she is going to marry you and have your babies just to tell her you'd love to do a catch up. I'm sure you can handle either a yes or a no. And she is unlikely to say no to just catching up. Once that happens, take the next step if you feel you would like to and see what happens...
Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Caroline91]

Well, stay out! lol

[Asker]

Should I message her this Hey, I was just thinking of you and wondering how you're doing. We haven't talked in a while, so maybe it would be fun to catch up if you're okay with that. How have you been doing?"

[Caroline91]

That's nice. Hope she say she'd like to. 🙂

[Caroline91]

*says

[Asker]

Well I sent her a message yesterday saying “Hey thank you for your message a few weeks ago. I’m doing better now. How are things with you?” She saw it sometime today because it says seen under the message. I guess that’s it with that.

[Caroline91]

Maybe, maybe not. At the very least you're behaving like a mature, confident man not a HS boy. The right lady is going to find that very attractive. So stay in the game. There's a business axiom that I think works well for life, in general: "Success looks a lot like failure up until the moment you break through the finish line."

[Asker]

Thank you for that. I hope so. How do HS boys act?

[Caroline91]

Well, you used to be one... lol. Seriously, though, and only generally speaking... lacking in confidence, often shy, more often nervous, pretty goofy a lot of the time, etc. Don't get me wrong, especially about the goofy part! But I'd say the biggest one would be often not brave enough to put themselves out there and take that chance.

[Asker]

Yea I was always shy in school lol. That was always me. I guess it was good that I least tried and gave it a chance.

[Caroline91]

And you will continue to do so when another lady catches your eye, I hope. Every "no" gets us closer the a "yes". And that's just statistics! lol

[Asker]

Thank you. You’re very sweet. I’ll get that “Yes” someday.

[Caroline91]

🙂🙃🙂

[slatyb]

Go ahead. One message won't hurt. But if she doesn't respond, don't ask again.

[Asker]

I went to go send a dm and I already had back in 2016 and it was ignored.

[slatyb]

What platform? It's possible it was delivered to a spam folder. This happens on FB if you aren't a friend.

[Asker]

No we were friends on facebook at the time. I just sent her a message this afternoon.

[slatyb]

Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks still haven’t heard anything.

[Abbycado]

Completely fine in my opinion.

[Asker]

Only thing I’m worried about is me just randomly messaging her and her getting the wrong idea. She recently commented on a post I recently put up. Her birthday according to facebook is in a couple weeks. Should I wait until then?

[Abbycado]

That’s a perfect time. Just say hey and happy birthday, “been a long time”. There ya go.

[Asker]

Should I send her a dm on her birthday or on her post?

[Abbycado]

I don’t know that it matters. Personally, someone that I was good friends with, I’d like a DM. That’s just me though.

[Asker]

Ok so I’ll just put it on her wall. I’ll just say “Happy Birthday (her name)! It’s been a long time. Hope you’re doing well”.

[Abbycado]

Absolutely! I really don’t think no matter how you do it that it will be wrong.

[Asker]

Thanks. Actually to comment on her wall is off. Thanks for the advice.

[Abbycado]

Welcome and hope you two reconnect! Best wishes!

[Still-alive]

go for it. maybe something will happen.

[Asker]

Have you ever done something like this?

[Still-alive]

I've talked with old friends before but not like an old crush

[Asker]

Were they women?

[Still-alive]

hmmm i think one was. it was cool. it was just like catching up on old times

[Asker]

Ok thank you

[Anonymous]

If you're just concerned about catching up then why do you care so much?

[Asker]

Because I don’t want her to get the wrong impression.

[Opinion Owner]

She won't, if you act like a friend.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Whatever floats your boat