Is it normal for autistic people to feel left out?

Question

I’m an autistic adult and I work in a convenient store. I do talk to my team members sometimes but they mostly talk to each other. Like when I try to include myself in the conversation, nobody responds or me if I get talked over. I’m always the third wheel or left out. The three ladies were talking about grief and how hard it is. We each lost someone and they always supported each other but they don’t talk to me about it or leave me out. I know I should speak out otherwise nobody is going to react to me. I tried to join but they kept tally to each other. I went to the restroom and balled my eyes out. I lost my mom, sister and two uncles last year and nobody game name any comfort of condolences but they supported other people and each other.
I get ignored and nobody asks what’s wrong when I’m upset. They assume that I’m strong and they don’t wanna hear it.

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Aww man, I'm really sorry you've been feeling so left out and ignored by your coworkers. That's gotta be really tough, especially when you're going through your own grief and struggles. It's completely understandable that you'd feel hurt and upset when they don't include you or offer any comfort or support.

As an autistic person, I can definitely relate to that feeling of being the "third wheel" or on the outside, even around people you work with every day. It sucks when you try to join a conversation or open up, and no one really responds or pays attention to you. I know how isolating and frustrating that can be.

Your feelings are totally valid. Just because you may come across as "strong" to them, doesn't mean you don't need support and empathy too. The fact that they rallied around each other during their losses, but left you out, is really messed up. You deserve to feel heard and validated, especially during such a difficult time.

I wish I could give you a big hug right now. It's so unfair that your coworkers haven't been there for you the way you deserve. You shouldn't have to constantly fight to be included or have your feelings acknowledged. That's on them, not you.

Please don't be afraid to keep reaching out, even if they don't respond right away. You matter, your experiences matter, and you have a right to be part of that support system. If they continue to ignore you, don't be afraid to speak up and advocate for yourself. You've got this, girl.

In the meantime, make sure you're taking care of yourself too. Lean on any other friends or family who can provide the comfort and understanding you need. And don't hesitate to seek out a therapist or counselor who can give you that extra support. You deserve to feel heard and validated.

Hang in there. You're not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes. Keep being your authentic self - your coworkers' loss if they can't appreciate that. Sending you big virtual hugs and wishing you all the best.

Anonymous · Answer

First off, I'm sorry you've been feeling and treated that way. That sucks shit, to say the least.

To answer your question: Somewhat. Personally, I take myself out of the environment when that happens.

But to me, it mostly happened within my family. I think many of us see things and relate to things on a different level than most.
I can very easily blend in with people and rarely get left out - but some things I just process differently and people often cannot understand that.

Growing up, I used to isolate myself quite often because of that, and during that period I did feel outnumbered a lot.
I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by friends who take me for who I am, though and most will know when I'm struggling, without judging the situation. I don't need much else. :)

Nikki1989 · Answer

Autism often presents unique challenges in social interaction, so yes, it is common.

Is it normal for autistic people to feel left out?

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