My mom and brothers have been living in my apartment for over a month and I’m about to lose my shit. Advice?

[Anonymous]

My mom has been financially unstable my entire life. My siblings (she has six kids by five different men) and I grew up on welfare and moving from place to place because she was constantly getting evicted.

Eventually, I went off to college (where she was still constantly asking to “borrow” money even though I was a typical broke college student), got my master’s, got a good job in a lucrative field, and I’ve done pretty well for myself despite my humble beginnings.

Last month, my mom tells me that she gotten evicted again (for the second time this year) and she and my three teenage brothers need a place to stay. Because, it is freezing outside and because I don’t want her to lose her WFH job. I agree (reluctantly).

I’m about to lose my shit. My brothers are loud, dirty, and don’t do anything but play video games all day. They are constantly missing school for some feigned illness (but oddly enough they are well enough to play video games). They constantly leave dirt and hair on my toilet seat and in my shower. There is no space in my own damn refrigerator anymore. My mom moved my computer off my desk so that she can work (I work from home as well). My living room is a damn mess (because their shit is everywhere). They are wearing out my furniture because they won’t get air mattresses. Because my brothers are musty, my house smells like hot dog water. They argue with my dog for getting into their stuff although this is his house and technically you’re evading his space.

She told me today that she needs to be here for six months to get back on her feet. I can’t kick her out because I’ll get criticized for kicking her while she’s down.

I honestly hate coming home and I’ve been spending most of my time at my boyfriend’s house so that I don’t snap on them.

Please help.

[Daniela1982]

Kick them out! I don't see them doing anything to help out. You are not your brother's or mother's keeper. If they can't contribute, then tell them it's time to go. Your mental health is more important. You made something of yourself while they are mooching off you. If you can't take the steps to oust the squatters, then you can't complain about it. And don't loan her any money either, or you will be on the hook for their laziness forever. " 2 Thessalonians 3:10 - "if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either."

[Orion84]

You need to speak up for yourself, and make them understand this is your house, and they are guests. You are doing them a favor.

Don't be afraid to set ground rules. Tell them, in no uncertain terms, that if they want to continue staying there, they are going to need to abide by your rules. Period.

If they don't like that arrangement, I'm sure they can find a nice heating grate somewhere. Sorry, not sorry, but they have zero leverege. Your home, your money, your rules.

If they can't accept that, you aren't the one kicking them out. They will be choosing to be homeless, rather than be reasonable guests. That's on them; not you.

[slatyb]

Criticized? By whom? Does she have any income? Is this in the US? If she can't work she could file for SSI. Why are you a sister to three teenage boys? Who is the father of those boys? He is liable for support. Would he be able to take the boys since your mother is incapable of parenting them?

Is there a shelter that could take them for some time?

[Asker]

- Criticized by other family members for lack
- Yes she works (I mentioned that in the post)
- “Why am I the sister of teenage boys?” Because she had more children when I was in high school/college?
- The fathers of these children are deadbeats. The fathers are worse than she is (in fact, at one point they were all in foster care)
- I’m pretty sure they could live at a shelter, but I not sure why she hasn’t considered this

[Staximus]

You need to set boundaries. Tell your mom to get her shit off your desk. Tell your brothers to shower everyday and go to school, and to pick up after themselves and clean the bathroom. Tell your mom that if she and your brothers want to stay there then they need to live by these rules or get the fuck out, because it's not their house, it's yours

[zagor]

Give her 30 days to find another place and GTFO, along with her progeny. And stick to it. I once had 5 days to find another place and managed to do it.