How do I stop being harsh to a barely 10 year old kid?

[Apulu_backagain]

Let me get from the beginning. Let's say this kid's name is Aster and his brother's name is Astro. They're both my cousin. So Aster and Astro came to our home day before yesterday to hang out and because their mom was going to work she wanted me to babysit Astro which I always willingly did. So it was all good, I was going on my day with Astro and my sister with Aster. By evening their mom came to pick Astro and said Aster to behave and left (Aster was to stay back for sleepover). It was okay and fine.

Getting back to the story, day before yesterday while everyone at home was having snacks on the dining table, he somehow found my old barbie doll and he was playing with it- no problem. But then I started noticing the way he was playing with it- he was bending the doll and lifting up it's bodycon clothes while laughing. I mean he's a kid and it's not like I was sane at his age and didn't make my Barbie to splits or something. But since he was 'unintentionally' treating it inappropriately I said him kindly that you don't touch a doll like that, it's not good and blah blah. He didn't listen and made the barbie do splits and he was shoving down that doll's leg infront of everyone on table while they were eating. I straight up said it's not acceptable and that he wouldn't have done that if it was a male doll. He grinned and didn't bother hearing me. Okay, kids are being kids, fine.

Yesterday morning he out of nowhere says that I look like an African, and I knew he intended to be racist, so I replied, "you say it as if it's a bad thing, I love my brown skin tone and don't mind being a black person". He then grinned and went on saying Ugly continuously. It reminded me of my childhood bullies. He really resembles one of the 'cool' kids who use terms like bruh dude bro continuously and bully people who aren't like him. I said him that it's not funny but he continued chanting.

Updates

1 y

This whole time he was constantly using my tab to play Roblox like a crazy gambler even though I said him not to because I needed it appropriately charged for my studies. And he was being an extremely picky eater and and THREW rice in dustbin when he wasn't able to finish it, and the portion was according to his wish. And he kept on judging me for little stuff like how I eat, how I was standing weirdly while trying to make Astro sleep and it made me over simulated.

Updates

1 y

And I kind of feel cruel feeling that way because he's a kid after all, just because I was more tamed at that age doesn't mean others will be. I am readily looking for when my dad will drop him back to his home but he didn't wish to go yesterday (which was the plan) so he's going today evening.

He drains my energy so much.

[HelpfulWoman]

talk to his parents about it, and you'll quickly find out if its just him being a shit head, in which case, you don't have to have patience with him. come up with a personal insult for him for next time he does it, at 10 he knows the difference between right and wrong
If the parents are part of the problem, time to stop the babysitting offers

[Apulu_backagain]

Talking to his mom made me realise that he's one of those kids who's really neat and kind in their home and infront of adults and they favourite people but change when they're left in a place no one tell them anything.

[HelpfulWoman]

so what are the parents going to do about it though?

[Apulu_backagain]

I don't know, I don't care, next time I'm not taking anything from that kid and yeeting him.

[HelpfulWoman]

to be fair, valid XD

[Cubus]

How old is he? 10? It's the age when a kid does not think about playing with a doll ina sexual way, so I would let it slip.

As for him calling you "African" - well, you just need to be patient and continue explaining. You can tell his parents if you want to.

[Apulu_backagain]

I told his mom, thankfully my dad dropped him to his home. For the African part- to be honest it's so common in India that it's almost a norm to despise dusky or black skin tone, I was like that at his age top but then I gradually started being more open and liking all types of skin colours. Every 30+ age person in India is a bit or very racist but I still told his mom about it, I don't think she'll take that part seriously though so next time I'll just tell him his pale skin is as flavourless as pale milk 🙂

[Cubus]

Aren't you a dark-skinned Indian? How so you were like him?

[Apulu_backagain]

Well, I hated myself then and hated all dusky and dark toned people.

[Cubus]

Nah, you're good looking. You shouldn't have

[Apulu_backagain]

Bullying and societal standards can make everyone look ugly. I was once told that I'm so ugly that even devil won't buy my soul if I sell it.

[Apulu_backagain]

And I suppose everyone in this world is good looking and beautiful! I mean every human I have known (except the chronically bad ones) have some good features here and there.

[Staximus]

Kids will test you, and you have to draw the line somewhere and not put up with their bullshit

[Apulu_backagain]

Sometimes they are really overwhelming.

[Cyrus000]

You are not required to take BS from anyone. Including 10 year olds. You're also still a teen

[Apulu_backagain]

After this experience I did learn that not all kids deserve gentle treatment.

[Cyrus000]

Yup. They do not. Prioritise your wellbeing.