How do I avoid this do I just keep it to myself?

[Anonymous]

Me and my husband are trying to get pregnant and waiting to see a fertility dr because I have hormonal issues and was told I'd have a hard time getting pregnant... so I was telling my husband how i was sick a few nights ago during the night and he got super excited and asked if I have taken a test and I had to tell him I still wasn't pregnant and I feel like I disappointed him I know he loves me but it hurts to keep telling him I'm not and to see how sad he gets from it so do I just keep when I'm having any type of symptom to myself even when ik it's just from other stuff? How do I move on from feeling this way

[SteveSmith1985]

I think you have a couple of options here. None of them are wrong.

1. I am inclined to suggest that you speak to your husband about this.

I can appreciate how it would be hard to watch him get excited, and then disappointed when you know that you're just sick, and you're not pregnant.

I can definitely tell you that YOU aren't disappointing him. He is disappointed. He doesn't feel that way because you've somehow done something disappointing. He certainly doesn't realize how this is making you feel.

He has no idea that he's hurting you by getting excited over (what you know) is nothing. Jeez, I'm not even trying to have a kid, and I got my back up a little on your husband's behalf. I KNOW he doesn't see it as you disappointing him. You're a team.

If you were to explain to your husband, what you explained in your question... Then you can figure out how to avoid this situation repeating next time you're sick. If he were aware you were feeling this way, surely he would be willing to work with you.

2. I think it's fair if you choose not to share symptoms that will give him false hopes. I don't think this is as good a solution. I don't think it makes sense to have to hide feeling ill just to avoid him inadvertently hurting you. But if you want to do this. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Personally, I really do think you should go with the first option.

You and your husband are a team. You're trying to have a child as a team, together. I think it's better to let him into this specific aspect of this larger fight you're both engaged in--together, as a team.

So you've been thrown a curve-ball. It's your team-mate who is the source of the painful feelings you're talking about here. Only because he has no idea what effect he's had by reacting this way.

Keep him on your side. Keep him in the loop of what aspect of trying to get pregnant you're struggling with at the moment. He wants to be on your team for the whole fight. He wants to have your back. He wants to be there for you. He certainly doesn't want to contribute to you hurting.

I think you should tell him. Figure out together the best way to avoid this in the future... together.

[killergoku999]

First you shouldn't blame yourself for it and don't feel bad with it. If it is difficult, he should stand at your side and be a team.

If it is difficult, both should go to a doctor and see what is happening. Both must try to have sex on your ovulation time, have a good balance diet. Some supplements are good for preconception.

Men always thinks is women's fault, but they forget they can be shooting blank shots.

Either way, couple shouldn't blame other for something but should support and solve has a team

[BadApple69]

Guys get super excited when it comes to this. I would just tell him you’re not pregnant now but he will be the second to know. You both need to not think about it and not worry about it. People who try hard to get pregnant often don’t. It’s when they stop trying that it happens.

[mayur1598]

I think you should clearly tell him that because of your hormonal issues you are having hard time getting pregnant. And you guys need to visit doctor for this. I think he will understand it. Don't hide any symptoms of illness because just it will give him fake hope. Talk to him clearly.

[fish5505_87]

My wife and went through this, we both had surgery to help. In the end, we had to go "In Vitro" We have a beautiful son now. It took over 6 years of trying naturally. Be honest and discuss a plan moving forward. It's not easy, But if you love each other, that's all that matters.

[Summeroflove]

You shouldn’t keep things like this from your husband. You need to have hard and serious talks or the marriage may crumble later.