Is it normal my dad hates me for not marrying his bosses daughter and blames me for him him getting early retirement?

[Greenlantern84]

• Right after I graduated high school I got a job at the company my dad worked at for forty years. He was a engineer. I really liked working there. I work there all through college. After about four years. I ended up having being a supervisor with two secretaries whom were nice and I stayed friends with them until their death.

My dad and his boss started pushing his daughter on me. His daughter was a lot older. It was ok for a while but we fought too much and she cheated with all of my friends. She also had a drug problem which I didn't like.

She tried to say I impregnated her six months after i dumped her but I had a test and it was not mine. I dumped her.

I put my notice in and used up all my PTO and my secretaries and I got hired at another company making more money. And my dad's boss retaliated and made him take early retirement. His boss kept trying to get me to marry her.

It ruined my dad's and I relationship. He blames me for not marrying her and said I ruined his life. I don't need to be married to be happy. I think it's crazy twenty years later he is still salty about it.

I am glad didn't marry her. She is a serious meth head and is married to my ex friend and has six children with him.

Updates

1 y

I am currently homosexual. Which my dad doesn't support. I was married but am widowed. He would rather me have been married to a trainwreck than a nice guy.

Updates

1 y

My parents were miserable together and both of them told me they never wanted me. only my sister. Lucky me I was an older millennial and played outside all day or did scouts and worked at hot topic. They are always trying to get me to go to their super fundamentalist church. I Choose happiness and am happily child free.

[natured]

Woah, your life is a movie !!!
Well, you don't have to have hard feelings about it, looks like your dad never wanted to see you happy but he wanted to do a favor to his Boss that's all what mattered to him and not your feelings. I know it sounds BAD but not all dads deserve good sons like you.
Don't be hard on yourself, if your dad is still salty about it AFTER ALL THESE YEARS then it's his problem not yours.
DOES HE KNOW that that woman had a drug problem?
If he knows and still wanted you to get married to her than your DAD is the major problem here...
I'm happy for you that you moved on and lived life accordingly.
Good luck

[Greenlantern84]

He doesn't know. The secretaries knew and thought I had some balls for dumping her. I feel bad for her kids.

[natured]

Well maybe it's time to tell your dad the reason why, and I'm sure he will feel less salty and be understanding about it !!! Try it, at this point after all these years there is nothing you will loose... It's sad that you didn't do it earlier though maybe he would understand and is not such a bad man like I'm picturing him...
Good luck though and yes I feel bad for the kids as well, must be horrible.

[Blunky]

It's not normal for a father to hate their son over something like this. Dislike and disappointed maybe. But hating says more about the father than the son. Tell him to marry his boss's daughter if he wants to marry into job security. What a jackass.

I hate seeing parents trying to live their lives out through their kids. We aren't here to enhance our parent's lives, they are here to enhance ours. I had to cut my abusive mother out for good because all she cares about is money and kept treating me like I'm her personal piggy bank for a cush retirement. She never cared for my happiness (actively tried to make me unhappy all my life) so I really don't care about hers.

Congrats on breaking the cycle of generational traumas like I did. How does it feel?

[Anonymous]

I see exactly what happened. You were the perfect patsy. You earned good money and she was pregnant and needed a husband

[Nikki1989]

Nah, this is nuts.

[In_Trance]

Are you having a midlife crisis?