Disrespectful roommate?

[khb031498]

I had been good friends with this girl for last 3 years… we always got along & never once argued in our friendship, so decided it would be a good idea for her to move in considering her situation…

she was married to my aunty, who ended up committing s*icide in their own home, so for obvious reasons she had left her home, moved into a new place & was home invaded on 3 different occasions. I felt bad for her so I let her move in with me, before she moved in we went over some rules

1: no drugs or alcohol in the house

2: no inviting people over

3: no giving out my address.

I think these rules were pretty fair considering that she was home invaded, beaten & held hostage in her last home

i ended up finding out that the home invasion had something to do with her allowing gangsters into her home… I also must mention that I have two kids (a 6 year old boy & a 8 month old girl) & she has none.

well last night she came home at 3 AM with a random man she had just met, I woke up this morning and walked into her room & here she had liquor cans & bottles opened in her room.

I asked her to take her liquor out & she refused, rolled her eyes at me & said “no, I’m not taking it out & I’m not leaving I’m a grown woman”

which I then responded “well if you’re a grown woman move out of my house”

things ended up escalating & she begins to get disrespectful with her tone, facial expression, stance, etc… she kept egging me on & it was almost like she wanted things to break out into a physical altercation between us, I ended up attacking her because she wouldn’t leave my yard.

she turned the situation around onto me & made me out to be the bad guy, made false claims that I bring drugs & alcohol into my house when I’m sober & have never not even once brought that sh*t into my home.

now she’s left & she owes me 1,500 dollars that I lent to her including 3 months rent, she is receiving a 45 thousand dollar settlement next week which is what we’ve been waiting on for her to pay me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a really tough situation you're dealing with, girl. I'm sorry you're having to go through that with your roommate. It sounds like she's been seriously violating the rules you two had agreed on, and then had the nerve to get disrespectful and turn it around on you.

That's totally not cool at all. You were trying to help her out by letting her move in, and she's just taking advantage of your kindness. The fact that she brought a random guy home at 3am, had alcohol in her room, and then refused to leave when you confronted her - that's just straight-up disrespectful behavior.

And then for her to start making false claims about you? That's messed up. You were completely justified in getting upset and confronting her about it. She had no right to try and make you out to be the bad guy, especially when you were just trying to enforce the reasonable rules you'd both agreed to.

I'm really sorry you had to get physical with her, even though it sounds like she was pushing your buttons and trying to escalate things. That's a super stressful situation to be in, especially with your kids in the house. You gotta do what you gotta do to protect your family.

Honestly, I'd say your best move is to just cut ties with her completely once she pays back that $1,500 she owes you. Don't try to reason with her or anything - just get that money, and get her out of your life for good. You don't need that kind of negativity and disrespect, especially not in your own home.

I know it sucks, but you gotta put yourself and your kids first here. Hopefully she learns her lesson, and you can find a roommate who actually respects the boundaries you set. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of drama. Wishing you all the best, girl. Hang in there!

[molonski2]

This is the exact problem with associations , she started out all nice , after you put yourself out , then what happens? She returns to what she knows. This is what always happens with these people. Good luck getting your money , I don't like your chances sadly.

[TrueConfection]

Take her to small claims court. I think the fee is $35 and you can get that back in the judgement against her for what she owes you.