At what age did you feel ready to have kids?

[Anonymous]

My fiancé and I are getting married in less than two months. Lately he has not been able to stop talking about having children with me. He is 39 and I am 25. He keeps saying he doesn’t want to be an old dad. I told him he will be okay, my parents started over with my sister and I. My mother was 40 when she had me, and my father was 45. Being a mother has always been one of my biggest aspirations in life. I have been told my entire life I will make a great mother. I always envisioned I would be getting married and having my first child around the age of 26. However, now that I am practically that age I kind of fear motherhood. I know my husband will be a great father, because he already is to the two sons he has from his previous marriage. I know that he is a great provider, and that I will have a great pregnancy with him. I know that he will help me out in any way he can. However, I think I kind of fear losing my old life. The loss of freedom that comes with having a child. I am currently a dog mom. I enjoy the freedoms that come with being a mother to my fur baby. Although I still have to find someone to care for him when I travel. I know it is not nearly as stressful as making plans when you have children. Yet at the same time I yearn to have my own family. I am not currently close with my family at all. I am not in contact with my parents or any of my siblings really. I do sometimes feel that I am missing out on having a family, since I am no longer in contact with mine. I absolutely still strongly desire to be a mother. I always said I wouldn’t have kids until I am married. Now I am getting married and feeling nervous about having children.

Updates

8 mo

I’ve always known my aspirations were to get married and have my own happy family, travel, be happy, and successful in my career. I think what bothers me is that I don’t have a career established yet. To be honest, I still don’t know what I want to do. I recently enrolled myself back into college. However, that is more of a plan b. Ideally I want to be an entrepreneur who can work from anywhere. My husband wants me to be a housewife. He let me be a stay at home girlfriend, the first year we met.

Updates

8 mo

Which honestly, I loved it. I have always worked 2-3 jobs while in school full time prior to meeting him. The struggle was absolutely real! So I truly appreciated the break my fiancé provided. He told me I never have to work again in my life if I don’t want to. Yet, he is also supportive of anything I want to pursue. Honestly being a housewife sounds heavenly to me.

[Anonymous]

For me its a tricky situation, during lockdown I got in to a long distance relationship and she had a child. Was a very safe introduction to parenting. She was in control over the kid but i'd give her advice and we obviously discussed parental matters. Turns out I am quite good at it, so that made me feel ready. My style is very much observing what the child is trying to achieve and enabling the kid to do so in a safe manner. For example after constantly taking stuff apart I ordered her some 3D block puzzles, one of which intentionally quite a bit above her age to challenge her. It was hard for her but she enjoyed it and could learn quicker as a result. Same thing with her occasionally painting on walls. I got her a nice gel pen set which my girl gave her when she behaved well that day. The gel enabled her to be more creative on paper, but this time if she misbehaved it wouldn't be such a big deal. Few years later I got in contact with my ex again, she continued a similar approach of punishing when doing something wrong but redirecting things to something right. The kid was very competent for her age and well mannered.

Having that experience I know ill do ok once I have kids of my own.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing

[jahaims]

I felt ready at 20 but wasn't financially stable until I was 26

[Anonymous]

You will always feel nervous I feel like but I will be 25 in June and me and my husband are trying for a baby now we just got married in August 2024

[Asker]

Congratulations to you two! I am wishing you a beautiful healthy pregnancy. 🤍 How did you know you were ready?

[Opinion Owner]

For me it was the way my husband took care of his niece ik then I was ready fir that to be us

[Simslover92]

I felt emotionally ready at 21
Mentally ready at 32
Still waiting on the financially ready lol

[Asker]

That is the one thing bothering me as well lol. I know my husband can afford it financially. However, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to without him slightly bothers me.

[Simslover92]

Yeah that would definitely bother me too.

[itsannalee]

Any age when you are ready to have it, when you’re are ready financially , emotionally and physically

[Asker]

I think financially is the only one that bothers me. Although my husband is financially able to provide for us. I would not be able to do it in my position if I were alone right now.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I'm single, always have been, no girl wants me.

[Asker]

I am sure there is someone for you.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she lives on another continent.

[Asker]

Maybe. 🙃 I believe you will find her in perfect timing. Why do you feel that no girl wants you?

[Opinion Owner]

I hope so.
Because all of my loves were unrequited.

[Asker]

Maybe there is a lesson still to be learned before finding your so.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe, but I don't know what it is.

[Asker]

I am not sure if you are into these things… Praying, fasting, and meditating have been some of the greatest tools and guides I’ve used while navigating this earth. Praying is a way to talk to God and put in prayer requests. Meditating is a time of quiet and stillness. It is a time to hear Gods voice, and answers to your prayers. I often receive the most channels and downloads when I meditate. Fasting allows for deeper clarity and provisions. I also wanted to share a sermon with you I watched a few years back that completely changed my life. This sermon has completely shifted perspective on life. I no longer get upset when things do not go my way. Instead I ask myself, what is the universe trying to teach me and how can I grow from this. Once this clicked for me, I started jumping timelines rapidly. I shortly found my husband after this. Life will often bring the same people to us in different bodies, if we don’t learn the lessons from previous relationships. Sitting in solitude and reflecting is the best way to find those answers. I hope this helps. 🤍
www.youtube.com/.../ghZcy-alTsY

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks, but I'm not religious. However, I do meditate from time to time.

[Asker]

No worries. I don’t actually identify with any religion either. I just consider myself to be spiritual, and I do believe in God and the power of the universe. Still may be worth checking out, you may find the answers you’ve been seeking. I also understand if you are not interested, just thought I would share. Sending much light and love and wish you the best on your journey. 🤍

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you very much :)

[Kelly6]

I was ready at age 19

[Asker]

How did you know you were ready?

[Kelly6]

It how you feel if you are ready to take care of kids

[Asker]

Is it normal to want that but also fear it? Like to know that your life will change forever. Knowing that I will never get my old life back again scares me. Having children is such a huge commitment and responsibility. I am now questioning when will I ever feel ready