What is your opinion on public displays of grief?

[thegreenyogi]

In many countries like Italy whenever a person passes away their body is placed inside an open coffin for at least 24 hours so that people can pay their respects to said person and after that there is a long procession on the day of the funeral to the church and then to the place in which he/she will be buried. This whole ritual transforms and quickly becomes a public display of the grief people experience and for me personally it's not something I agree with because I feel it becomes a theatre act of who cries the most. No offence to those who believe in this ritual. I have always dealt with grief in private not wishing to be surrounded by people or have people see my pain. So what do you all think about this? If you have experienced grief how do you deal with it?

[Caroline91]

I think every culture is different. And every culture has its rituals and ways of handling major life events, marriage, births, deaths. And people who haven't grown up with a certain way of doing things may view it as strange or odd. My father's side of the family always had the 3 days of "viewing" where the widow (er) sat most of the time during those days in the room with the open coffin and family and friends could come and view the body during that time. Then it was an open casket at the funeral service and people filed by the coffin afterward. I will no longer go to any funerals on that side of the family and just send a nice flowering plant with my condolences and visit with family members regularly afterward. On my mom's side, we have a celebration of life with an uplifting service and then the extended family has a meal together, either at someone's home or a restaurant, and we tell stories and reminisce and there is am lot laughter and a lot of hugs. When I lose someone I am very close to, I usually have kind of a delayed grief after a couple of weeks and then spend a few weeks or even months somewhat to myself while I process my feelings.

[Agape93]

Feel what you feel. Idc where

[HawkPerception]

There CAN be theatrics, but for a lot of people, being able to see the body and saying what they want to can be cathartic and give them the closure they need. Having loved ones around for support can be good too.

I remember going to the funeral of a classmate I knew since elementary school when I was in high school. I didn't know her very well, but I went because others told me to go. And when it was my turn to go up and pay my respects and saw her body in the coffin as well as her parents and sisters looking at me directly as I looked at her body, I honestly didn't feel emotional. I didn't know her. But because they were in front of me, I felt I needed to look emotional so my presence wasn't disrespectful to them, so I attempted to cry. It was one of the strangest scenarios I've dealt with in my life and I've learned my lesson to not go to a funeral of someone I don't know, even if they're an acquaintance.

I felt terrible about going to it afterwards.

[MisterWack]

I think if we had this in America there would be funeral influencers there hamming it up for the cameras, attention or even as simple as a news crew.

Though in those countries that have this as a deep meaningful and respectful part of the grieving process, I’m sure their citizens respect the dead and their emotions are genuine. It would be immoral to show your grief for attention since it would disrespect the culture associated with it.

That is just my viewpoint, I don’t support or support this. Everyone has their thing of dealing with loss of loved ones, this is just some of people’s thing.

[MisterWack]

Second part since I missed that last part of the question:
If you have experienced grief how do you deal with it?
I thought about the good times, the travels, and the friendship. I came to realize that they’re in a better place now, got support from the closest also going through same grief.

[NicholasRedone]

@thegreenyogi I find the Late Pope's "demands" very troubling and bothering to me - the way the Francis (Bergoglio) always wanted to "appear" a certain way despite doing the opposite in other ways. Like the whole simplicity thing - only to the extent it's for visibility - like the whole surrounds of "the Vatican state" are large, luxurious and grand - and the lack of a pedestal has to my brain really hampered the many many thousands of people trying to cram and push and shove to see the low to the ground public viewing of his body, not a very considerate decision by a supposedly old wise man - not wise to my brain "why make people cran their neck's that much harder"

[NicholasRedone]

@thegreenyogi yogi, I just feel like I always have and still had, mixed feelings about the Late Pope. A troubling guy almost to my mind - a crafty PR workman, you note - I sure noted it. Always wanting to appear "simple" yet, please - the guy wasn't dirt poor.

[Shiprex]

I went to see my best friend laid in rest when he died over a decade ago and because I hadn't seen him for a couple of years and couldn't visit him when he got ill (which I regret wholeheartedly) I felt it was something to say farewell to him and touch him with the love I had for him.

I did the same for my brother in law when he passed (same Cause different organs) away and that was much the same but one was in Europe the other in Asia and there were slight differences with the Asian one being a public viewing while the European was more private. Neither I wanted to live through but it's something that sticks with you as it's a hugely emotional experience.

[Friendlybro79]

I think you hit the nail on the head with the theatrics that can surround funeral services and the fact that we all grieve differently. I would also rather be alone or with just immediate family and not pressured to go through all the processes of the funeral.

I feel this way because we should celebrate loved ones while they're alive not when they die.

[TonyMetal___86]

As you have mentioned, it's a ritual but not a fake one, it's really a sad moment because you have lost someone that you love...
Some people are actors and fake, they just show up to act, we care about the real ones who had truly loved and cared about the deceased person!

It's not like when they close the coffin and the person is buried we stop thinking of them, because when we truly love a person, their image will remain in our lives forever!

[Sunrising]

Everyone deals with the situation their own way. Perhaps we don't need to see them when they're dead, and give them a send off. But whatever let's make the most of people whilst they're living!

[Dongie]

I used to understand this until to many family and old friends died and now I just want no part of it anymore.

[Jerre]

Everyone has their way of showing their grief, so I judge not

[Jerre]

@thegreenyogi Thank you for the Like

[Anonymous]

I think it's understandable.