Do you think most adults just aren't that interested in making friends?

Question

We all know friends become harder to make as we get older.

Over the past 10 years, I have just come to realize that the only people who I have had long term friendships were guys who were in love with me. I also had 1 other female best friend who forgot about me once she met her boyfriend. The rest of everyone else just never really cared to stay in touch.

After all these experiences, i just think that most adults simply dont care that much about friendships. They aren't persistent in pursuing friends. friendship just isn't their top priority. They would tell you they ARE looking for friends but they would reject most people who want friendship with them. Its like they have this pre-conceived image of what they want their friends to be like. Anyone who does not match the description would be rejected indefinitely. Unless you are 100% the type they are looking for, they won't care to keep in touch.

Im just wondering if anyone on here agrees with me on this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on every individual, but yes, lots of adults are not interested.

Iron_Man · Accepted Answer

that’s a shame seems like it

OneViewpoint · Answer

To the OP, you're learning a lesson almost all of us learn in our 20's and early 30's.

Adult life is not gonna be like high school and college where you had all of your friends around you all day every day and not many commitments outside of school. You all lived in the same town or on the same campus. It was great.

Then you graduate and all those people you knew scatter on the four winds to seek mates, careers, and families. It's a big change. One which a lot of people have never experienced before. Now amidst the sudden loss of 24X7 friends around you, there is a job, an apartment to clean, dating and weddings, kids, a home purchase and maintenance. Then you switch jobs and there's more change you are forced to deal with. Social time trends to zero, LOL. One by one your friends are swallowed up in commitments like pieces on a chessboard.

I wouldn't say that most people aren't interested in making friends. They're all feeling the same thing you are. But we all have limited bandwidth and energy. There are only 24 hours in a day. And shit happens... illness, accidents, aging parents, layoffs, etc. You are forced to choose. Most of us choose duty over ourselves. It's what society has trained us to do. Be a good ant for the betterment of the colony.

But some people have no problem throwing away other people. They don't wear a sign on their foreheads. You're just gonna have to learn to sort the keepers from the people who don't matter. That's life.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

It’s not that they’re not interested, it’s that in our modern society we are encouraged to isolate ourselves in the name of production and work. And it’s become very easy with things like social media that give us virtual interactions but nothing real. Friendships happen because of time spent together, which is why it’s so easy to make friends in school, you’re all spending time together. This is not the case out of academia as very few places include such a rigid structure and many don’t know how to initiate social interactions without that structure’s presence.

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Answer

I’ve always been interested in networking and friendships. I’ve never had many girl friends because most of them were die-hard pick me’s that wound up jealous of me. Most of my guy friends same issue, were in love with what they thought the idea of me was. When I didn’t reciprocate that idea they’d vanish. I don't know how one expects to have a romantic relationship when friendship hasn’t been established. Society is just warped and trying to trauma bond over childhood issues they don’t do inner work for. What can anyone really expect when 80% of people can’t even be a friend to themselves that they can rely on. Like I’d call me if I had a flat tire.

exitseven · Answer

I used to have a lot of friends. I even had a tribe. I got married and had kids right away. I had a demanding job and had a house to take care of. I was going to school at night. I sort of let all these friendships sort of go by the roadside. I am on the other side of all that and now I wish I stayed in touch with some of these people.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, not most. The sad thing is some people are just miserable to be around, and they are usually the type to whine about having no friends, being single and so on. Their problem is staring them in the face, but they live in denial.

Godihateyou · Answer

I moved 2000 miles away from everything I knew and loved when I was 33. I moved to a dull crappy city called Houston. Nobody i knew ever wanted to do anything. Me and my wife found a site called "Adult friend finder" those people were all sick perverts. We just want to find people to go to rock concerts with and maybe play Doungeons and Dragons. These freaks want to role play and watch me blow out their wives backs.

beenherebefore · Answer

As an adult I'm definitely not interested in making friends. I'll be nice to you if you're nice to me but I don't want things to get personal. I'm a terrible friend to keep up with I tend to be very avoidant and dismissive in friendships.

Babebytheshore85 · Answer

It just sounds like you have nothing to add to friendships so they've chosen not to bother with you. You are making it an every one problem when it's you.

serious · Answer

I am not really sure if this can be true 100% but at the same time you are not entirely wrong either

Valdemort · Answer

Maybe interested in making friends, just not necessarily (equipped to build) a meaningful connection

Sluttt · Answer

Certainly friends are hard to find as you get older but there are long time friends whom I keep on connected. I made a new friend last year though. I am planing to go trip together this year

blackeagle007 · Answer

Sad fact is yes. Myself and others around my age aren’t interested in the platonic thing. Always more. Different at an early age but really changed as we get older.

Zoi2000 · Answer

It’s not friends but the quality in person. It might be i’m just picky about who I hang out with.

Caughtulookin · Answer

Friendship requires sacrifices and understanding. Traits of this sort are dying in todays world.

Jltakk · Answer

Some are. I'm one of those that just don't have much to give so I am not really that interested.

WonderingManII · Answer

It does seem to be that way.

Anonymous · Answer

Ya or nu

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