Who or what has traumatized you the most?

Question

For me, it's my father. He beat on my mom when I was just 3 years old in front of me and held a knife to her throat.

Luckily it didn't make me be hateful towards men. Despite what my father did to my mom, I have learned that not all men are bad or abusive. It took a long time to get there though.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

My mother. She beat me regularly as a child. It started as punishment for “bad behavior”, but our home was one in which you didn’t get to know the rules until you broke them and it was time for the beating. Eventually i learned to just stay away from her. So she would beat me randomly while uttering things like, “I know you got away with something, you little piece of sh*t!”.
If she wasn’t punching and kicking me, she hurling insults and reminders that i was a mistake and her life would have been much better if she had just aborted or abandoned me. When i was finally old enough and just barely worldly enough to recognize that her behavior was not just unusual, but bad, i tried to stand up for myself.
She came at me out of nowhere and hit me in the head, i stopped her second and third hits by grabbing her wrists. She then tried to kick me in the groin. Which i deflected with my own leg. I pushed her away, pointed my finger at her face and said, “That’s the last time you will ever hit me again.”. Then i turned my back to her and went to my room.
That night i was woken by the light in my room coming on and my mother coming at me with a butcher knife. She jumped on my chest, pushed the blade against my throat and told me if i ever touched her again that she would kill me and nobody would ever miss me. She left my room.
I don’t remember how long it was before i spoke to her again. In the end, i guess it was a win for me. She didn’t kill me, and she never did hit me again.
I don’t think anyone in the world knows how traumatizing maternal abuse really is. The ONE person in the whole world is supposed to love you the most and protect you from everything is the greatest threat to your life and wellbeing. We talk shit about dads all the time, but mothers are divine. If your mother doesn’t love you, nobody ever will.
To this day, the only semblance of understanding i have ever felt was third person and projected from my own imagination after reading “A Child Called It” by David Pelzer. I often thought that boy was the only person in the world who could understand what i went through.
I was a grown man before i ever had meaningful opportunities to get professional help and had already learned that it’s heavily frowned upon for men to actually seek such help. Men who need a psychologist or therapist are weak, at best, or dangerous, at worst. Neither of which have any place in the society we have created. So i never got that help. I honestly never thought i’d live long enough to regret it. I was wrong.

MannMitAntworten · Accepted Answer

Holy fudge Sims! I have zero memory of my parents ever hitting one another. The few times they fought it was brief along with some colorful words. Usually it would be my Mom getting mad at my Dad for whatever reason - often for things he was oblivious to having done or not done. Which as a bystander was kind of comical to see unfold. If that is any indication to my own parental moments of strife.

What was most traumatizing for me? Being with my Dad when he was told he had stage 4 cancer then 2 1/2 months later taking my Mom into the the ER (during the lockdowns) so I was not allowed this time to be present with my Mom when she was given the news that she two was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer as well. She shared this in a call to me as I was waiting in my car in the hospital parking lot. That was fun news to break to my Dad. The year and a half that followed was damn awful not because their care was left to me but because I watched go from being my happy energetic with a lot of life to look forward to like their 50th Wedding Anniversary the following year. A lot of planed trips and a cruise and to finally enjoying their retire as my Mom finally decided to retire after my Dad had already been for 11 years. Seeing them fade and pass was haunting. Especially when the family home for the first time since being built fell silent with both their passing. It remains surreal. Even everything which has followed since laying them to rest has felt like a bizarre dream that leaving me feeling out of place. Perhaps this is … ?

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I have things but I would rather not post my things in a public forum.
The things that I went through only made me stronger!!
But I think what traumatized me as a mother, was when my son contracted bacterial meningitis that went to his heart ❤️ which required emergency open heart surgery.
When you're a good mom, and your baby is hurt, no matter how old they are, it gives you a pain in your stomach that probably only a mother experiences.
If he stubbed his toe and ran to me with a bloody toe I would get that pain in my stomach because MY baby got hurt.
So you can only imagine how traumatic seeing him on life support and going through heart surgery did to me. And I went through it all alone. Just me and him.
He is going to have another heart surgery pretty soon again. 🙏🏼

Cutegirl06 · Accepted Answer

It was when my cousin who was 14 tried raping me when I was 9. I hated all boys after until I told my parents about what happened and started counseling. I learned it wasn't my fault for what happened and that not all boys/guys are like that. I now have a very loving boyfriend. I took my anger out on my younger brother I was so mean to him I even had our younger sister treating him like a dog. When I started counseling I realized that just because he's a boy didn't make him the perpetrator. I spent my nights crying over how I treated him and how I had my younger sister treat him as well. He went to counseling and today he is my best friend. I love him with all my heart ❤️

Anonymous · Answer

That's terrible to hear but your not alone.
I'll leave this anonymous just in case but when I was 4-5 I used to hear my dad beat up on my mom in my room. She would always try to hide behind me like if that would stop him and held a shotgun to her head in front of me and ill never forget the way she sounded when he closed the door. It was traumatizing to say the least.

I am sometimes not a fan of men. Sometimes I can sleep with a man and after I immediately hate him. It's all fxxxed up. On the flip side I'm very kind and nice to women, unless really pushed.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Some say that birth is the quintessential trauma , it's a solid one and probably incomprehensible. Imagine being thrown into a world you know nothing about, without food, eyes opened but it hurts, everything seems to hurt and you don't know why. It's suddenly all too bright, too vast aaaaand  WHERE THE F IS MAMA? What for a landing, you must admit 😂 Aside from birth, first contact with the idea that  the world REALLY isn't kind , I was 10. First contact with a massive,  life-changing heartbreak , I was 18. First contact with this  terrible bleakness that adulthood CAN be , I was 22.  After that... No more traumas I can think about.

LiamJHayden · Answer

My dad's death. My mom passed first, but she was sick for a long time and it was not unexpected. When my dad died he seemed fine the night before, but never woke up. I was 19 and left all alone with no family (only child of two only children). No siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Sorry to hear about that miss sims, but why did he treated her like that? Holding a knife to her throat, that's terrible, especially in front of his daughter, it means he has lost his mind, no normal person can act like that no matter how much angry they get...

MemeSupreme · Answer

how do you feel towards him now? like are you just tired of being angry at this point and that'd be my step-dad, but all my parents sucked lol

exitseven · Answer

I am sorry that this happened to you. You seemed to come out okay but i cannot imagine that happening. My parents got divorced when I was in high school and they fought a lot for many years. Even though, my father would never get violent.

Shiprex · Answer

The women (×3) who have caused my hatred of working here and brought my self esteem to levels I wanted to end my professional career, marriage and life after refusing to do their jobs effectively.

McSteamy · Answer

I was interviewed by the government authorities for my business fund. They treated me badly and made mock of my personality. Funny thing is.. it's been 3 years the fund is yet to be allocated. Pathetic losers. It still haunts me though.

Anonymous · Answer

I had a very similar trauma like you... I know how you feel :( Be strong, not all men are like our fathers.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Nobody has, and nothing has luckily , but your dad sounds an absolute cunt , doing that infront of a toddler

Abbycado · Answer

@circushowcowboy 😱

Lynx122 · Answer

Bullies at school.

talka20 · Answer

Don't feel like saying stuff here

Jennz6 · Answer

Rape and being whipped

Finchie40 · Answer

My drunk abusive father , and my child molester

dudeinohio · Answer

Abuse by school mates from 6th through 9th grade.

Lilly1979 · Answer

My ex-husband he was toxic.

avery58 · Answer

An ex of mine

Anonymous · Answer

My ex of course.

nl171 · Answer

My mother

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Honestly, my SO

Pterodon · Answer

School

dustybiker2 · Answer

Wind.

Nerdvana · Answer

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