What would you think of your daughter?

[Anonymous]

What would you think of your daughter if you learned that she got engaged to a man that cheated on her multiple times just to get away from her toxic family. And had been smiling laughing and pretending to be madly in love for 8 years despite being ripped apart on the inside just to have some similance of freedom. Would you think less of her would you be disappointed in her?

[Genie23]

I'd be heartbroken and feel sad for her. I would think why is she still living with him when he clearly doesn't love or respect her.

If she tries to come back in touch with me, I'd respond and guide her to leave him and start a new life instead.

[Asker]

The dad isn't toxic but she also can't hide with him because the rest of the family would still be able to get to her

She is with him because it was her only shot of having any kind of freedom

[Genie23]

You're a grown woman. You can find a way to leave him and be on your feet. Just work, get a place on rent and if you want just get back in touch with your father and request him not to tell others that you came back in touch with him as you want to stay away from them

[Asker]

I talk to my father still he just thinks I'm happily engaged and if I could leave I would I don't like ware I'm at in life I work full time and still can't afford to just leave I wish I could. And I will leave someday but unfortunately it's not now

[Genie23]

Oh! In that case, can't you ask for a little financial help from your dad until you get a good job that offers you good salary package. Also, if you can't afford to live alone as you can't pay the rent on your own and don't want to take dad's help, there must be some good options for people who wants to split the rent and expenses with housemates. Maybe check that out. I really hope you find a way out of this mess as living with your partner is also pretty miserable and toxic

[Asker]

Unfortunately it's not that simple my dad definitely can't help me he can't afford to take care of his own household taking care of his twin brothers one had a hemorrhagic stroke meany years ago and can no longer work the other recently went to the hospital and had to quit his job because he has a pacemaker he actually had to barrow 300 for his medicine.

I can't afford to live alone honestly don't know anyone who can but I can't rent a apartment anyway because nobody is willing to rent to a bitch who has a 80 pound German shepherd. But I'll also never abandon her she is the only one who's ever been there for me in life and is 12 years old. She is well behaved but that doesn't matter to apartments. I left her with my dad once aginst my will when I didn't return in two days she started to
escape every day trying to find me

Then my mom fucked up my credit without my knowledge so I'm still fixing the damage from that.

But my job does pay for college and I've been brushing up on my math so I can start taking online college classes in hopes of maybe being free someday

[Genie23]

Damn. You've got too many problems. Your mom using your credit card without your knowledge is really messed up. I can understand your love for you dog but I think maybe there might be some dog lovers who wouldn't mind having a housemate who has a big dog. Other than that, I don't know... You're already working and paying for your college fees with that money. How long before you graduate?

[Asker]

Oh I didn't even have a credit card she just opened a bunch of bills in my name that I didn't know existed which she did specifically to make it so I couldn't leave because she didn't need the money alongside other shit she did to trap me.

Yah I tried finding someone who would let me have my dog but I never had any luck with it. And now I really can't just dip because the only way I was able to get away from my family with my dog was I had to co-sign on a house with my fiance.

I was only able to start a little while ago so it will still be a few years yet. But it's not like I don't have time to kill in my little prison cell as I slowly try to dig my way to freedom.

For the most part it's fine I go to work come home cook dinner and take care of all of the chores while he plays a video game. He will get up and help if I bitch about something and other than him being grabby I'm fine it's not like he can rape me or anything I'm physically stronger than him don't get me wrong sex with him has never been good he's the only one who ever gets off but whatever for the most part I get to do what I want as long as he gets his rock's off from time to time.

[Genie23]

Your mum is a terrible woman. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds incredibly tough. I wish you had a good friend who could let you stay over until you are financially strong enough to get a place on your own. I hope things get better for you soon but I do feel you should tell your dad what you're going through. It will help you feel like some weight is finally off your chest now.

[Asker]

Oh she has threatened to slit my throat in the night and has thrown stuff out of the oven at my head. But you get used to it and learn to play the game.

Some day I'll be free I just need to be patient

And I can't tell my father I don't think I could stand the shame or pity in his eyes it's been my dirty secret for years

[Genie23]

Why don't you report her to the police?

[Asker]

Well along without really being able to prove it but I know it's hard to understand but I actually do love my family even if they clearly don't love me so I've never been able to bring myself to hurt them

[D_Bone_Steak]

So she basically paid a price just to get the eff out of an oppressive household? I'd feel bad for her and feel bad if I had anything to do with making the household oppressive like that.

I mean seriously, the family is so damn toxic that she would rather just stick with the cheating man than to deal with them. That's got to be pretty damn toxic. I've rarely ran into chicks that will put up with cheating men. That family must really suck ass.

[Asker]

It's essentially swapping out a cage you can't move or breath in for a cage you can at least stretch your legs

[D_Bone_Steak]

Exactly... I mean the girl got dealt a bad hand in life and that's the cards she has to play with. Seems like real life though because the Disney fairytale prince isn't around the corner... or if he is, she'll get caught and probably lose her leg stretching cage for basically nothing and having to go back to the original cage. Real life stuff that most people refuse to talk about.

[Asker]

I don't talk about it out side of the Internet but it's my life lol as pitiful as it is oh well at least I can manipulate this cage to a degree add flowers to it or something

[Miristheiss]

I would have to cut contact with her. I don't want that crap in my life and if that is the life choice she is making then I'll remove myself from her life.

[genericname85]

so basically you're implying in that question that if i had a daughter i'd have a toxic family she'd want to get away from. that's not gonna happen. and if i did, i failed as a father.

[seeyounexttuesday]

Wait who has the “toxic family”?

[Asker]

The daughter

[seeyounexttuesday]

if the family is so bad, why would they have thoughts of her being cheated on?

[Asker]

The dad isn't toxic but she also can't hide with him because the rest of the family would still be able to get to her

[jahaims]

I would think she is a retard