How does this poem sound?

[Simslover92]

She has everything I want.

A baby. And him.

I have nothing.

I'm drowning.

I can't swim.

I can't.

I...

[Genie23]

I think it's really deep and I understand what you mean and going through. I hope things will get better soon. ❤️

I've got one-

I hold my hope like fragile glass,

Try to stay gentle, try to stay kind.

But some days it shatters in my hands,

And I can’t pretend I don’t mind.

I keep whispering strength to myself,

A quiet battle in the dark.

But sometimes it feels like I’m fading,

Just a dim and silent spark.

[Simslover92]

Wow yours sounds 100 times better but thank you!

[Genie23]

And I don't think yours sounds better. So, let's just agree to disagree, lol. You're welcome!

[Simslover92]

Ok lol

[7Phoenix7]

I could feel the pain...

Also I agree with Beckybooboo... the way you put it together is beautiful. I'm sorry you're hurting 🩷.

Ill dm you

[Simslover92]

Thank you and ok!

[OneViewpoint]

@Simslover92

I thought you were in a new relationship recently. The sex was good and you were really excited / trying to make it work out. I take it that didn't happen?

As for the poem. Nice but... stop being melodramatic. Stop focusing on what other people have. It's not helping you. Grab the reins, put your foot in the stirrup, and swing back up on that horse. Go get what you want.

[Simslover92]

It didn't work out. And it's hard when the person you thought was the love of your life just stopped being in love with you. That love just doesn't disappear for me just because it stopped for him. It's been the most challenging thing I've had to deal with in a long time. I'm sorry to be melodramatic but that's how much it hurts.

[OneViewpoint]

Well I wasn't keeping count but you only knew him for a matter of weeks, right? Like a couple of months? How do you get that attached that fast? I know I'm not the norm but that period for me is the probationary period. For both people. It's when you explore and try to figure out of you want to go further. That's the time frame when I'm expecting things to end if it's gonna happen. I'm not heavily invested yet. On the other hand, your age, your gender, you probably feel the clock ticking more. Sorry it didn't work out for you. Still, giving up and succumbing to morbid thoughts are not productive. Learn from it. Use it. Try again!

[Simslover92]

No I'm sorry the guy I'm talking about in the poem is my ex from a year ago. We were together for over a year. I haven't gotten over him and he's moved on taking care of someone else's baby. She's married though the woman he's in love with now with a baby.

[OneViewpoint]

Ah, I misunderstood. But in this case... really move on. Let it go. That's a mess you don't want to be in the middle of. She'll almost certainly dump him for security and financial reasons if a baby is involved. Divorce is scary for a woman in that situation. Neither of them appear to make good decisions. He may come looking for you on the rebound. Don't be his shoulder to cry on.

[Simslover92]

I know I must but it's easier said than done but I am going to try my hardest to move on from him.

[Shiprex]

It sounds like it's an ex who's been jilted and hasn't moved on or healed from the break up.

[Shiprex]

I'm hopeful it's not directly affecting you @Simslover92

[Simslover92]

It is but I'm strong... I'll move on eventually.

[Shiprex]

Good luck. It's gonna be ok 🙂🙃😉

[Simslover92]

Thanks!

[Shiprex]

@Simslover92
Thanks too to you for the mho

[Simslover92]

You're welcome!

[Babygirl_S]

Find yourself a gentleman

you just need a real man

stop being his fan

that is not a leader

he is a bottom feeder

trying to be relevant

still can’t be a gent

lacking masculinity

attacking femininity

save yourself from her rapes

some superheroes don’t need capes

they just message you

and change your history

his loving embrace

let’s you know he’s an ace

he is your saving grace

remember him for centuries

he stays in your memories

can you even like a wannabe

when you’ve felt a real man’s kisses?

a superior man in every way

a classic man for eternity…

This sounds better. An ode to the gentleman who is so handsome and popular but never obnoxiously full of himself. He is the healing touch and feels like a safe home. Forget the hood rat.

[Beckybooboo]

Did you do what I think you did? Intentionally making each run shorter until there was just an "I", meaning you drowned? That is really beautiful @Simslover92

[Simslover92]

Thank you.

[KostasKouvalis]

The first 3 lines made sense. The drowning bit.

I hate metaphores

I'm confused

I'm lost

I...

I'm wondering what you're doing in thr water if you can't swim

[Simslover92]

That's the point. I'm overcome with grief that I'd rather drown than keep going.

[KostasKouvalis]

No no no no no
Don't do that

[Simslover92]

I'm not going to actually drown myself although the intense pain I feel makes me feel like I'm drowning.

[fonduegirl]

Too sappy. Put more concrete details in it. You'll probably get likes on Instagram, bc everyone's braindead there

[fonduegirl]

I'm here if you need to talk. I'm an aashole critical but I'm a very emphatic listener

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I appreciate that so much! And also it wasn't meant to be profound. It was just something I was feeling in the moment. I'm not a big poetry person but I just felt compelled to write down how I was feeling in that moment.

[fonduegirl]

Girl, you're a goddess and I'm sure he's a loser. Let him go

[Simslover92]

Aww thank you! I will try my hardest.

[fonduegirl]

That's good 💐

[Bricealan]

@Simslover92 Wish I could finish out your poem?

[Simslover92]

Too sad to finish it 😢

[exitseven]

Sounds pretty sad. I guess that I'd what you are going for

[Simslover92]

Yes it was what I was going for. I was deeply sad at the time I wrote it.

[exitseven]

I hope that you can feel better

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I hope so too.

[jazzy34]

❤️❤️❤️

[Caroline91]

It''s a moving poem. But sounds like you need to push back up to the surface for some air. Then find a new purpose to live.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Despairing and direct, that’s how it sounds. There’s not really room for a lot of other interpretations tho

[foxsquirrell]

Not into poetry, but I think there is something.

[Simslover92]

Thanks

[Dongie]

I can't swim?
Shit!

He has everything i want
Her
Everything i need
Her
But all is only everything
And everything fleeting
Fuck him!
Fuck Her!
Fuck everything!

[chrissykerdock]

because i'm drowning in cum

while drinking a glass of rum

[Bklynbadboy12]

Wow! I really like it. Who knew your very talented

[Simslover92]

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

It sounds kind of depressing.

[Simslover92]

It's meant to be depressing because that's how I felt when I wrote it.

[Opinion Owner]

I know the feeling.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It sounds very sad. But very very short.

[TonyMetal___86]

I... better find someone else 😂

[Dongie]

https://youtu.be/sG0zAn0dL2I?si=fFVZBtrY6dVgJwpP

[TonyMetal___86]

@Dongie 😄👍🏻

[Abbycado]

It’s sad hun

[Simslover92]

I know. It's how I'm feeling right now.

[Abbycado]

Aww, message me if you’d like. Always open to chat when I can. 💕

[Simslover92]

Thank you. I will.

[Arcadian222]

@Abbycado
It doesn't let me since you allow only whom you follow :/

[jazzy34]

Are you okay?

[Simslover92]

Not really. I think I'm having a depressive episode tbh.

[jazzy34]

Oh yeah, I know what that’s like. Please don’t suffer in silence. If things get really bad for you, please reach out to 988. You can call, text, or chat with them. They’re there 24/7 and it’s absolutely free. Also, unless you feel comfortable sharing your name and/or identifying information, you can remain completely anonymous to the counselor who speaks with you. I know all of this because that was me a couple of weeks ago. I was diagnosed with clinical depression back in 2020 and recently had a depressive episode. When I reached out to 988, I was connected with a kind, compassionate counselor who was really helpful and supportive. Either way, I hope you feel better soon. 🙏🏽❤️

[Simslover92]

Thank you so much. If I start feeling this way again, I will be sure to reach out to them. I feel a bit better today.

[jazzy34]

You're welcome and I'm glad today is better for you. :)

[Simslover92]

Thanks again. It definitely is!

[Jerre]

Very good!

[Simslover92]

Thank you!

[Jerre]

@Simslover92 Thank you for the Like

[Sal_Monella]

Extend it.

[qwerty2469]

Sad. Very sad.