(Fragment) What do you think of this poem?

[DiegoO]

Updates

+1 y

The poem is a translation from "Sonatina", a poem written by Rubén Darío (one of the greatest in Spanish literature).

The translation was made by Adam Feinstein (British writer, poet, etc). They gave me his book in a conference.

It's the first time Rubén Darío poems were ever translated to English.

[meesegoMoo]

Strawberry lips and losing their color being in the same tense is contradictory/confusing. Who is the garden owner? Was that just filler? It seem like the identity (such as her or her father) would be important in relating it to her desire to escape.

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds like someone is trying to be emotionally very intense.

[Whatthefluff]

A girl is dissatisfied with earthbound happenings and so her daydreams are the only way to cope while remaining tethered to earth. She needs to learn better coping skills to be a better-functioning person.

[menina]

I'm sorry but is not the kind of poem that I like. Was it written by you?

[DiegoO]

No...

[1stranger]

I guess.. Tried to explain the princess's mood by reflecting on nature.
Powerful descriptions used.

[wittymilf]

This is going to sound weird.. but that unnecessary ‘and ‘ in the last kind of the first verse made me loose interest.

[wittymilf]

Kind = line. 🙄