She passed away 7 years ago now at the age of 3 1/2. She was put under to get some mast cell tumors removed, and she never woke up. Im still angry and sad. Angry because she was so young. Sad obviously because I loved her, and she's no longer here. I still cry almost everytime I think about her, or hear a song that reminds me of her. Im not trying to throw a pitty party. I just feel the same way the day she passed, and I'm afraid it will never get better.
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You'll always think of him, especially if he was yours. My dad had a German Shepherd when he was in his twenties. It's been over twenty years since he died and my dad still talks about him. It was his best friend. Every time you get a dog, you know some day it's cause a lot of pain but I think having them in your life for even a short period of time, is worth it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it will get easier the more time passes. I lost someone very close to me years ago and sometimes it still hurts but the pain has waned since she passed and I just try to think about all the good times we shared and how she wouldn't want me to be sad. And your dog wouldn't want you to be sad either.
Get professional help. then get another dog.