How do I deal with a friend who keeps making insulting comments?

[Anonymous]

Accusing me of being a brexit voter, calling me a spinster and telling me I wouldn’t suit certain clothes bluntly what is wrong with this person

[OneViewpoint]

The solution is fairly easy. Don't pick up the phone. Don't return text messages. Just vanish. Make the asshole anyone else's problem.

[Asker]

I blocked her

[MannMitAntworten]

That’s not a friend. That’s your adversary.

[HollyK21]

You need to just speak up for yourself when she makes those comments. If this is about not wanting to rock the boat with her, sounds mean, be confrontational, etc then you need to consider the fact that she isn’t worried about any of that when it comes to making comments towards you. Also, advocating for yourself does not need to be any of the aforementioned things. It’s simply setting a boundary, and if she’s really your friend then you should be able to talk to her about how you’re feeling and communicate when things she says bothers you or hurts your feelings. She won’t know if you don’t tell her, and your silence makes her think these comments are ok.

[Asker]

I did tell her in the end but it pissed me off so much I couldn’t see her the same way anymore and blocked her

[HollyK21]

Gotcha, well if you r cut her off and all that then it’s best to let her comments go and move on. I agree that comments like hers were generally rude but in my opinion if it doesn’t apply let it fly.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Ask them why they're so obsessed with it. Do you bring that stuff up around him? Maybe try explaining that he's being annoying and making you associate his views with being a rude asshole.

Communicate. Otherwise respect will continue to erode

[Asker]

I didn’t like the way she she called me a spinster just so out of the blue it’s not common in the uk nowadays to get married at 21

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Sounds like she's jealous or upset about something and meeting her with some empathy will reveal if you're headed towards a fork in the relationship.

[Asker]

So weird we didn’t see each other for 7 years

[Asker]

And she lives in New Zealand

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Maybe it's something innocent then. Like a culture she didn't realize she picked up on

[Cyfris]

I would say tell them you don't like the way they are treating you and set clearer boundaries in your relationships or change the way you feel about the words they say.. Many are thankful for someones actual honest opinions who don't just tell them what they want to hear.. Maybe that skirt or whatever doesn't actually suit you or maybe you are a bit of a spinster.

[Asker]

Tbh I’m not the settle down type who gets marred at like 21? and she’s also now divorced at 26

[DishLady]

Don't tolerate it. They get one or two chances to fix themselves (once I mention that their comments aren't appropriate) and the third time it happens they're cut off. No need to torture yourself for no reason.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some people - miserable people - love to hate. The only productive thing you can do with such people is to push them beyond the horizons of your universe.

[Ms_Facesitter]

My first question is what is wrong with you for calling such a person a friend. You don't have to deal with such people. Life is so much better when you cut the toxic people out.

[ammar12343]

Just say you don’t like it. Don’t overthink it. If they continue, then tell them to fuck off and move on.

[genericname85]

it strikes me as weird that you call a person behaving that way a "friend" tbh. like to me, that's very clearly not a friend.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Call out his disrespect and he'll likely appreciate your refusal to be his doormat.

[oldman26]

Are you sure friend is an accurate description

[Asker]

I know I may need to stop this calling this person a friend and permanently block them for good

[Lance1258]

Cut them off it’s honestly that easy

[Asker]

I’m just worried if they get other people to intervene in the situation

[Lance1258]

to be fair this person sounds like a piece of trash friend. What type of friend purposely goes out their way to tear you down atp you might as well pay for a dominatrix.

[Asker]

Yeah I blocked 🚫 really can’t be bothered with that person anymore

[WhitneySnow]

Dump her