Why do my aunt and uncle not care that I’m at my best friend’s every weekend?

[Anonymous]

Warning, long RANT. Since I don’t work or go to school right now, I’ve been stay at my best friends house every single WEEKEND! It’s draining. For the past two months, I’ve spent eight weekends over there! My aunt and uncle doesn’t seem to mind me spending most of my time over there because they’re sick and tired of me sitting in the house, doing nothing, sitting in my ass or sulking. We don’t have much family anymore.

Ever since my mom passed away, family had a fight and how we are dead to them. My sister, my brother in law, brother (he’s divorced), my nieces and nephews, my aunt (dads second oldest sister) and uncle, they’re three oldest kids (two youngest don’t speak to us), one of of my other aunt’s daughters, so only four cousins we only speak to now (dads side).
Moms side I only talk to my aunt (moms older sister) and uncle. They blamed me for my mom leaving my dad and I after my autism diagnosis and mom’s death when I was 18. Nobody else speaks to me at all. Grandparents are dead.

My aunt said it’s great that I’m getting out of the house a lot more. My friend obviously love having me around and my she hasn’t been this happy in a long time and she’s very lonely. They don’t have much family either.

Not a lot of people are concerned that I don’t see my family a lot or if I get weekends on my own, and they say it’s great I see my best friend every single and most adults don’t get to do that. Nobody asked me if I get tired of going over there. Even my best friend’s mom is nagging me to get a job and asked me if maybe I can join the day program that my friend goes to. Not interested. She even took me to get job applications. My best friend says, “You don’t go to work, you don’t go to school. Why don’t you just stay here? You have nothing going on and your family barely sees you. Just stay.”

Im still at her house. I’m going home today. I’m going back on Friday.

[HollyK21]

Pretty sure you mentioned being on the spectrum the last time we talked about this, and you aren’t in any sort of therapy because of expenses. I really think you should find a job, not just because of your age but so you can make psychiatric help happen. Your posts have become erratic and contradicting. Last post that I saw, you were chastising your friend for seemingly expecting to hang out every weekend, but the post before that you were happy to go, and now you seem happy to go again. Last post you felt as though your aunt and uncle didn’t want you around at the house, now this post you wonder why they don’t ask if you get tired of being out of the house, aka at your friends house. It just sounds like you need help regulating your emotions, navigating all those thoughts and ultimately getting your mental health back in check. It’s also concerning that you don’t seem to wanna go back to work for this or that excuse. Maybe it works for now but you’re nearly 30, and can’t rely on your family to care for you forever.

[Asker]

I do lik going over there but I’m tired of going there every weekend. I just got home a few hours ago. She keeps saying “see you next weekend”. They never ask if I’m busy anymore. They just assume that I’m coming over and they ask me every week if I m coming over. I never get a break anymore. Never. My family doesn’t do anything anymore. My aunt and uncle never asked me if I’m getting tired of it. They both work weekends or either go on trips together

[HollyK21]

What difference would it make if they asked you whether or not you like going? You’re a full grown adult almost 30, if you get tired of going somewhere— don’t go. That’s exactly what they would say as well, don’t go if you’re tired. You’re not a teenager, they don’t need to ask you a million questions about where you’re going or who you’re hanging out with. They’re just happy to see you be social if that’s what you wanna do.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Girl, if you know they hate you why are you staying with them? If you know you’re unwanted there, and wanted somewhere else, why not go where you’re wanted? And yeah, you need to get a job.

[Asker]

I’m not saying I’m unwanted. I’m saying my aunt and uncle doesn’t seem to mind me going to my best friend house every weekend plus my besties is so lonely and she and her mom and sister don’t have much family anymore and they cut ties.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Doesn’t exactly sound like they’re thrilled to have you, either

[BadApple69]

You should really try and get a job. I’m not sure how you survive now without an income but no matter having a pay check every week or two can only better your life. Plus you’ll meet new people. That’s good too

[Asker]

I still have some money left but I guess I’ll have to work again. A lot of people never asked if I get tired of going over there every weekend. Im never home on weekends anymore. My aunt and uncle said, “If you wanna spend every weekend with your best friend, spend every weekend. It beats you sitting in the house all day like you do. All you do is sit around doing nothing but lay on your ass, mooch and sulk. Get a damn job or take a hike.

[BadApple69]

No one wants to see a young person wasting their life, And sitting around doing nothing is wasting your life. I'm not saying you have to work, you can do volunteer work... You can start painting landscapes. You could start a home business. But you need to do something with your life.
You make it sound like you don't like going to your friend’s house every weekend... Do you like it?

[Jeff51]

Why should they. Just stay out of trouble.

[Asker]

What do you mean “Why should they?”