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They are wonderful to you... cook, clean, great advice... the kind of friend and family you want. But under neath, there are making some choices that will consequences later on. And later on arrives as it always does and it's suffering. Keep in mind good people, can make bad decisions for a long time...
What kind of problem you ask...
They take on too much debt and gonna lose it all, risky behavior leads to physical tragedy, poor diet, promiscuity leads to disease or unwanted results, dwelling on political stress leads to mental illness, addiction (porn, gambling, food), etc etc.. It's easier to make bad choices in the 1st world than it is to make good ones. There are lots of choices as an adult that can work for a while... until they reach a terrible consequence.
...
As such, since they were such an amazing person to you, how would you support them? Financially, emotionally, spiritually (prayer, meeting with them). Or would you just deliver the facts to them and let them suffer in the mistakes they made so they chance (tough love).
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
5Opinion
I would try to help them correct their behavior, if that's what you're asking.
what if the consequence leads to financial issues. they lived high on the hog in debt, eating well, enjoying nice gatherings... and then the debt dried up, the bill is due and they are broke. gonna help toss some cash in to help them out, make a loan knowing their thinking and behavior lead to this... because they were really good to you all that time... the problem is their psychology. what if you seen waste all that time, lack of respect for $.
it's not that they are an alcoholic or bad person, but their thinking was bad and now they are struggling financially.
you'd help bail them out?
@lightbulb27 Have done that in the past, with a good friend, but NOT because she made bad decisions. Might help a relative also... once.
Depends on the issue, if I can help and who exactly they are to me.
They sound like they have every problem in America. I would try to help them, but I’m not sure how successful I would be.
case by case scenario...
one thing is for sure... I would intervene way way sooner, before the facts, and not after the dire consequences
Largely depends on what you could do.
And the likelyhood of said person crapping on you
yes, problems get to be large over time, more than anyone can make a dent in solving.
TLDR. NO I DONT ENABLE
I'll flip it on you then. lets imagine that it is you... you didn't see the flaw in yourself but now its apparent and going to slam your life. the people around you you have cared for all your live, bought food, housed, etc..
you would want help from them? or ask?
No I wouldn’t ask. I did it to myself I can get myself out of it. I wasn’t raised by enablers
That makes sense. How old are you though? Sometimes you get to a point, you will need help... even physically.
There are professionals paid to do that. Is that help? If I’m paying?
yes, if you still havre $. I know someone that went down such a path... happy single, but he's broke and now physically broken. it's a dead end in life.