Have you ever cut off a best friend of the opposite gender..

[Anonymous]

Because the feelings weren't mutual? Its been two months since my former guy friend cut off complete contact with me. Its been the hardest two months of my life. He was my only real connection I've ever had with a person on a "surreal" level. We were attracted..had a great trusting and reliable "non silent" friendship. I confessed my true feelings. He bounced and had a girlfriend days later. I don't know where I went wrong. He made excuses to not be with me..distance being one of them. I live 45 min from him...the new chick is 3 hours away. I just don't get it.

We were absolutely...great together.

I date often. Get asked out often. But my former friend (who I've tried several attempts) to contact has blown me off like we were never friends at all.

Have you done this? Why? Because I'm really confused. And no I'm not in high school. He's 27. I am about to turn 25...?

[LJHam]

I recently went through this myself. Had an incredible emotional bond with a guy who called me his best friend. We spent tons of time together, got along great, made each other laugh, were super affectionate, could talk for hours about real & deep personal stuff. I had never experienced that kind of emotional intimacy in my life and it was fantastic. But, in the end, it was all a lie.

He wasn't sexually attracted to me and went on to get a much younger girlfriend who he didn't tell about me even though I spent a lot more time with him than she did. There was a lot of lying by omission and things between us that crossed the line into relationship territory which I knew she would not like. So I backed off, returned his key to him, stated the affection & spending the night with him had to stop. Even though I told him I wanted to remain friends and continue to help him with his schoolwork he never had me back to his place again. In fact, after of couple weeks of little communication, he completely cut me off. He stopped responding to all calls, texts, and emails. The last time I called & got through because I blocked my number, he was really angry.

I realized that for him to just drop me so quickly like a hot potato meant that he really didn't care all that much for me to begin with. The sweet things he said, the so-called connection we supposedly had was all just a con job so he could keep me coming around since he wanted company & affection from a warm body. Even though he liked my company, he wanted the young p&ssy more even if it was a LDR. But him lying to her repeatedly also showed me how little he truly loved her as well. The guy was just a lying manipulator.

Don't know if that's the exact case you were in but it sounds similar to a degree. People who really don't care can easily just run away, that's simply what it boils down to.

[Asker]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. If your connection was half as much as ours...it sucks. But I'm trying to tell myself he wasn't the one because he left...but I don't know if another connection like that is humanly possible.

[LJHam]

It is possible, trust me. It was just the universe's way of giving you a taste of what is out there available to you. Hone in on everything you want in a man and a relationship. Focus on those things adamantly and the guy fitting those things will appear.

[kisaragi5TH]

im sort of in the middle of moving on from a girl that it first I was only sexually attracted to but now I'm starting to have feelings for and I'm getting attached.

i feel like she's getting attached too, but the thing is, I know we aren't compatible with each other, and she has even told me she isn't looking to dating anyone for a while, because she just came out of a very long relationship with someone.

we used to text and fb chat almost everyday but now it's slowed down.

last time we were together we just cuddle and held each other but she didn't wanna kiss me. :(

now it seems that she'd rather party with her friends than spend the weekend with me like she was interested in doing a few months ago.

so, all in all it seems that we are kinda drifting apart.

we haven't talked in over a week, no text, call, fb message, anything.

i do sort of miss her but I don't think we can hang out anymore because we aren't compatible with each other.

so in regards to your question, maybe he felt attached to you but didn't feel a relationship would work out.

[Kiran04]

Nope, but I've never really had the problem. Girls aren't exactly lining up to be my girl friend. Either way, seems to me his answer is pretty clear and you need to move on. He's not going to show up out of the blue and confess his love for you. In all likelihood, he already had his heart set on this other girl when you came out with your feelings for him and didn't want to jeopardize his chances with her. Well, that's life. He's well within his rights to do that. There is no such thing as "agree to be friends" once one friend falls in love. You don't get to say "I don't want to jeopardize our friendship". It's already in jeopardy. Either a relationship happens or the two of you split. People don't get to choose who they fall in love with. They only get to choose how they handle it when they do.

[Asker]

Guess some people don't cherish friendships like I do.

[Kiran04]

It has nothing to do with cherishing friendships or not. It has to do with reality and how people's feelings work. It's almost impossible to go back once you've been smitten. You're better off severing contact than trying to endure the heart ache at point blank range.

[prophecy]

Yeah. I've done that. 2 times.

it happened when I was young like you and stupid enough to think that guy/girl friendship is possible. it always comes to the point when there are some feelings involved.

what do you mean why? he did you a favor. would you rather see him kissing and groping his girlfriend in front of you?

[Asker]

Yup. Our friendship was special enough. He was my rock.

[prophecy]

don't waste your time on this guy. focus on others. ones who are actually attracted to you.

[Asker]

I have been.

Trust me. Actally had the best 3 days of sex with a guy in my life. Still doesn't matter. He wined..dined...and let me sit on his face for hours. My former friend still matters the most.

[SilentEarth]

Yes, one of my best friends (who I considered my best friend anyways) I liked a lot and we went on a few dates together. But it was apparent that the feelings weren't mutual so I stopped talking to her for a long time, quite a few months, just so that I could just get over her. I don't think she ever noticed.

[Asker]

:(. If she's like,me. She noticed.

[SilentEarth]

The thing is, I always did the approaching and everything. I came to her to talk and hang out but it wasn't happening the other way around. When I stopped saying hi crossing paths, she wouldn't even so much as throw me a glance I guess we weren't as good of friends as I thought we were.

[Stanleyslife78]

Hey I had something that haooened to me that was similar where I had this guy friend and his girtlfriend was really in love with him but I am a Guy and I did not want to ruin the relationship so I hung out with them all three of us but then she started feeling awkard and then stopped hanging out with me and friend together and the guy friend told me she is scared of being around me and then the friendship with her Faded away i guess she was not mature enough or was just afriad to be friends with someone like me who is kind caring and thoughtful

[phonezoo]

All the time, she's usually younger than me. I hope to wind up with a girl who's older than me by one year

[prettymuscle]

Maybe you are boring to him or maybe the sex is

[Asker]

Neither. No.sex happened. :(

[prettymuscle]

it has to be something if he pick the chick who was 3 hours away to your 45 mins, cause really 45 isn't really that long