I want to give my best friend a Claddagh ring.

[Anonymous]

Neither of us are Irish, but I think that the meaning of the design is amazing. Love, Loyalty, and Friendship. Everything we share and I think it would show just how special she is to me. The thing is though, I don't want it to seem... romantic, if you will.



Although I am open to moving on to something more than we are, at this time, she isn't. I'm okay with that and I want the ring to symbolize what we are right now. I have also found one with a CZ heart in Aquamarine, her birthstone.

Mostly I'm wondering if this would be appropriate?

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I did it. Sort of.


A lot has happened in the last few months that drastically changed our friendship. For the better. I'm not necessarily out of the friend zone. But I have told her that I don't intend on going anywhere.And I've shown her that I will be there for her no matter what.


She hasn't had the best relationships in the past and is still recovering from a particularly bad one where her ex would beat her. I told her of my intentions with her and asked her if she ever saw an "us" -

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at any point in the future. She told me that with everything going on she hasn't ever thought about it. And she didn't know.


I've been with her a lot lately almost every day for the past few weeks. It's amazing. Today while we were in the car, I noticed a thumb ring she was wearing. I thought it was a Claddagh because of the way the vines on it grasped a heart. So I asked her about it. She showed me it wasn't a Claddagh but she has always wanted one.


I then told her I was going to get -

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her one, and I explained again the meaning of it. representing Love, Loyalty, and Friendship.


I asked her if it would be okay, or if it would be weird because of my feelings for her. She assured me that it would be fine and she would love it.


So that's my update. The ring is on order from Amazon, and I'll just so happen to be giving it to her on Valentines day.


I'd like to thank you all for listening to me ramble. Have a good night.

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Okay. Update time again. We had a huge falling out on Valentine's day. And while I won't go into details on it. It hurt me a lot. Fast forward a month to her birthday and we are at least talking again sort of. I give her a card, a gift, and the ring. But I still feel like she hates me. She wouldn't even look at me while I was at her house. So I let her be. A week goes by and she texts me. Says she loves the ring and has been wearing it since I gave it to her. I reply. Then nothing the rest of -

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The day. Then the day after that she texts me again and thanks me for being the person I am. She told me shewas getting help for the personal problems she had and that she wanted me back in her life. I was ecstatic to hear that. And we had a long conversation that day. The day after that I went to see her again. She gave me a huge hug and we were together all day. Now. The day after that we were together again. And while we were out we were talking and tattoos came up she said we should get

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One, together. So I showed her a design I had on my phone of a heart with an infinity symbol weaved into it. She like it. We went to a parlor and I got one in black on my right inner wrist/forearm and she got one in pink on her left back neck. I think this is a huge advancement in our relationship. But I'm not sure. I told her the reason the design means so much to me is because of her. It's a symbol of my infinite love that I hold for her.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I think you can do it, but the way I would go about this is by first asking if she's ever heard of the claddagh before, and then shortly thereafter explain to her what it is, what it means how it's worn, all that. When you do, just pull out the ring, and give it to her. Explain why you're giving her the ring, and explain that since she's just a friend, she should wear it on the right hand with the crown pointing up her arm.

Yeah I think you can do this if you do it right, but make sure she knows, full well, what your intentions are, what the ring means, and why you're giving it to her.

Good luck with this.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Oh, and by the way, in case it wasn't obvious, I know what they are too. I've given one before. To an Irish girl at that.

[Asker]

Yeah, that would be one of the things I would do. Explain about it I mean, let her know what the ring is and why I want her to have it. Thanks for the reply.

[guy532]

His intentions are for her to be his girlfriend, by trying to make it less awkward he's just making it more so. Stop beating the bush and get on with it. If you haven't found out if she's intetested in you or not do so asap and if she isn't cut her off your life. She's a poison that is killing you without you even realizing it.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I don't believe in the friend zone, by the way. There is always a way to tell your friend about your feelings. If you've already done that and she rejected you, then you're probably never going to get her. The best thing you should do after said rejection is generally to never bring it up again. Less pressure the better. Not because it increases the chances of her changing her mind, but it reduces the chances of you ensuring she won't.

[guy532]

It doesn't sound to me like you've ever really been in the friend zone. If you have for a considerable amount of time I highly doubt that you'd type out that response.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

No, I've been in what could have been the friend zone, but I got out. Getting out is relatively easy. You just need the will. You need to be willing to take risks and make tough decisions. You'd need to decide first whether she's worth the risk of destroying the friendship, by asking her out or telling her your feelings, because things might get weird, or entirely cave in. But the actual friend zone is easy enough to get out.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

You just have to make a move on the one who has put you there. You either get out because you've gotten a new relationship, or you get out because you can't stand not being in one. That's how you get out. You just make a move, and decide whether you wanna stay if you can't get what you want. Just that simple.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

You don't mope around and pine for her. You move on, or try like hell to do it. Get some distance, or/and find someone else. But for god's sake don't pathetically hang around for three years, actually EXPECTING change.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I've been rejected before, by girls I was friends with, and some of them came around. Some of them didn't, but I didn't ask them out, or bare my feelings to them, and then mope. I took the rejection, accepted it, moved on and did whatever. I didn't just hang around. I dated around.

[guy532]

You do realize that's what I was saying...For him to make an actual move and not to be super friendly and cutsie by giving her gifts like this, it will not work. We both have the same train of thought according to what you just wrote. He SHOULD make a move asap and a big one at that, if she doesn't take the bait he should move on, otherwise he'll just be wasting all his time and energy on a girl that will never want him. Also, to let you know it was three years because 2.5 of those years she

[guy532]

was in a relationship that lasted 7 years in total. After she broke up I gave her a couple of months (3 to be exact) and asked her out on a date, I got shot down, I tried again, and I got shot down. She told me the reason was she didn't want any serious relationships at the moment and wanted to have some fun. I guess drinking yourself to the hospital and having multiple one night stands monthly is supposed to be fun, that's why am no longers friends with her.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I'm glad. I hope everything works out for you, man. Be sure to update us when you give it to her. OK?

[Asker]

Thanks, I'll try. I really just come here to vent and I thought I would update this because of what transpired today. I believe it was/is a major step forward in our relationship. And I will wait for her. I WILL be the one to make her see that all guys are not worthless. I WILL NOT stay in this friend zone. She's just so amazing.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I think you mean "show her that *not all guys are worthless*" right? Anyway Good luck man. I wish you the best. But yeah do tell me how it goes down after valentine's. Hope to see you Friday.

[Asker]

Haha, yeah, typo. My bad.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

wow. Laying it on a bit thick, don't you think?

[Asker]

No. I don't actually. This girl is that amazing. And she doesn't seem to realize it. The tattoo is a reminder of what we have. It'll always be there. No matter what. Just like no matter what actually happens I'll be there if this girl needs me.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Fair enough. I was just trying to voice caution.

[Asker]

Understandably. I'm just a bit short with anyone trying to caution me. Seems like I'm getting it from all angles more recently.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Well considering how easy it is to drive someone away with some of the things you mentioned, it's understandable why you're getting it. I'm not criticizing though. I'm just saying, be careful. Hate it or not, I'm just trying to help. If you don't want people to try to help, get off this site.

[guy532]

link

[Asker]

You have no idea friend. But like I said, I'm okay with that. She means the world to me, and I'd rather be in the friend zone than to not know her at all.

[guy532]

Oh boy...I can speak from experience, so please take my advice in consideration. I was (important word there, "was") friend zoned by a girl I was crazy for, for almost 3 years. It'll be better for you if she was completely out of your life instead of her just being your friend. You may completely disagree with this, as I would have too when I was in your situation, but it's the truth, the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be. I wish you the best of luck.

[guy532]

@update: thank you for the update! You've done some good work and it's definitely looking good for you right now, but it still seems fishy to me. She's still holding back and keeping you at an arms reach.

[Anonymous]

friends don't give friends claddagh rings. Boys who want to be boyfriends but can't get out of the friend zone do and then they look kinda pathetic. I know this sounds like a great idea to you because you've said over and over that you don't care if you're in the friend zone that you wanna do this because she means the world to you, but if you EVER wanna be her boyfriend...dont. do. it. it's too much and there's no way it won't seem romantic on your end.

[cazza3]

Personally speaking I would be extremely uncomfortable if a guy friend gave me a claddagh. They are an old Irish wedding ring(a tradition I wish we kept) and not something a guy can give you without having some emotions and feelings behind it. It is not a friendship ring, its a ring to show devotion and love. And knowing you wish we were more than friends while you hand me a ring would cause me to refuse to take it and keep my distance for a while.

[bebin]

I love claddagh rings!

That could get quite confusing though cause the ring is related to marriage.

You'd have to make it super clear by what you meant by it but you'll probably get away with it as long as your friend trusts your motives are purely friendly.

Goodluck! the ring with the stone sounds beautiful :)

[hopelesslylost]

My best friend liked me but he was in the 'friend zone', when he started giving me little sentimental gifts it freaked me out... I ran! ... I know it hurt him, but I couldn't help it...

Just a warning what might happen.

[Betwyn]

The only person who can give you a Claddagh, without it being "romantic"

is your family.

[Anonymous]

Aw, that's a really good sign. Just continue being there for her and I can see you two moving forward with your friendship to a relationship

[Anonymous]

Pretty romantic. if she's not interested in you like that don't do it, it'll be awkward. its not gonna persuade her into wanting more

[Anonymous]

The claddaugh is traditionally a ring given to someone by their lover or by their family. It's not really a friend thing.

[Anonymous]

Unless you know how she feels about you I wouldn't give her any sort of ring. It sounds like you are trying to hard.

[Anonymous]

she sounds seriously bipolar. Tread lightly my friend. I'm happy for you just be careful.

[candlewax]

Nope. Not appropriate at all.