Do guy friends cook for girls without a hidden agenda behind it?

[CrystalMinds]

A friend of mine (who recently suggested a massage because I was tired) doesn't live too far from me, he's the same age as me. Just some basic info. He recently asked me if I'd like to come over to his place and he'll cook me dinner. Now I'm totally fine with this, but then it occurred to me that he could think of it as something more? I just like him as a friend and it's been a while since we met up, so of course I said yes. Do guys just cook for girls as "just friends"?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the answers! Seems like I'll cancel it.

[Anonymous]

This is why men shouldn't have female friends. He's obviously trying to win you over, and you have zero interest or attraction to him. You get emotional validation, backrubs and even dinner now out of this guy, but you'll never return the favor and become his girlfriend. To the men who read this, this, THIS, is why you don't have female friends. A man always wants emotional connection and perhaps leading to a relationship, but women keep men they don't find as attractive so they can get all the benefits listed above without actually being the man's true companion. Say no to female "friendship". If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, then find another girl and stop trying to win over a girl who thinks you're ugly.

[Anonymous]

I use it as an excuse to make out. It works a lot of the time. I don't specifically target female friends for this, but if it happens, it happens. This has worked a lot on girls that I'm dating, but not quite girlfriends yet. Do you like him as more than a friend or not?

[CrystalMinds]

No, that's the thing. If something awkward happens it'll kinda get...you know, awkward.

[Opinion Owner]

Then decline the offer. Most men want more from their female friends than their female friends want from them. That's why male friends are generally unattractive, or at less attractive than the guys a girl would normally date. Seriously, decline the offer.

[girlygirlkk]

i had a guy friend who cooked, gave back rubs, had chit chats, help me grocery shopping, anyway it cost him his relationship :(

i did not know his ex had a problem cause he didn't tell me, so now she hates me

[CrystalMinds]

I understand her issues though, if my boyfriend did that with another girl, I'd think he was trying to win her over.

[girlygirlkk]

yea. poor girl :( I tried to fix it but she said f*** off

[BoobMan]

Of course they do!

Because there's nothing "hidden" about the obvious agenda of wanting to have hot, hot sex with you. Are you kidding me? He suggested a massage and he suggested you going over to his place for him to cook? Yeah, OBVIOUS agenda is sex. I'm going to help you out here: when he suggests "staying in and watching a movie together," the agenda there is about sex too.

A hidden agenda would be if he asked you over to cook dinner and then tried to sell you Amway. Not many guys do this, but THAT would be a hidden agenda.

[CrystalMinds]

Yes, I know watching a movie doesn't mean watching a movie. I just never had a guy cook for me before. I'm kinda oblivious to signs even if they're right in my face ^^

[BoobMan]

Anything that involves being alone at your place or his is code for "let's have sex." Or at the very least, "let's make out."

[CrystalMinds]

Jolly... Looks like it's cancel time.

[BoobMan]

Yeah. Good call. How did you deal with the massage before?

[CrystalMinds]

He asked me if I wanted to come over to his place and he'll cook, I said "sure".

Nothing more, nothing less. But I'm horrible at cancelling, haha.

[BoobMan]

You said he recently suggested a massage in your question. You didn't agree to that did you? If you managed to get out of that, you should be able to get out of this, no?

[CrystalMinds]

Nah, I just said: they give me more pain. Then he said that he's pretty good at it, so then I said: same for the masseuses in Greece but it still hurt.

Then he said: just trying to be nice. Or something like that, I don't quite remember every word.

[BoobMan]

Okay. That was an effective ducking of him. You'll just need to do something similar this time. And then at some point you should drop into conversation that you've got a date with a new guy. Basically, you want to make it clear to him that he's not on your dating radar. If he pushes it, then you'll need to tell him that it'll never happen. But he's likely to get the hint if you talk about other guys.

[CrystalMinds]

I just don't really know how to cancel it now. I can't really say: listen, you're cooking for me because you like me or you wanna have sex with me, I don't, so, let's call it quits.

[BoobMan]

Just tell him something came up and you can't make it. Don't propose another time.

[CrystalMinds]

True, I'll just cancel it tomorrow or something ^^ thanks

[BoobMan]

No prob. Good luck! Keep us posted--it'd be interesting to learn how this plays out.

[CrystalMinds]

Well, I just realized that we hadn't set a date yet, so if he proposes a date, too bad, can't make it

[BoobMan]

Even better! Then you don't even have to cancel as of now. Just blow it off when he proposes something. In the meantime start talking about guys you're crushing on and possible other dates. That may deliver the message.

[CrystalMinds]

We don't really talk that often. I know him since last year, then I didn't hear from him a year and now all this? I'll just be "busy" this week

[BoobMan]

Yeah, this sounds like it'll be an easy one to wriggle out of.

[TheUglyOne]

Maybe, for long time friends, where the lines where clearly set and been respected.

Otherwise, he hopes to impress on the girl. Now it doesn't mean he only wants sex, he could just as easily want a real relationship. His cooking for you is his courting style.

[iwish46]

Some do and some don't. Personally I would because my female friends always complain about eating the same food over and over again. @update: I think you made the right choice though.

[baliguy11]

so what if he wants to cook for you in hopes of attracting you not a bad thing. but we like you girls and if we can get more with a few things like cooking then no reason for a girl to complain.

[AnonGuy23]

Dinner isn't anything necessarily; the back massage is what did it for me. He definitely likes you.

[Jayded1]

Hard to say really. I have cooked for female friends before. I've also given back rubs. I think ia m weird though. Not a lot of guys can separate that.

[Tarvold]

Guys do cook for their platonic female friends, but if you have to ask, then you're not at the level of friendship where this is strictly platonic.