Should the Dumpee Ever Chase the Dumper?

[chx000]

Even if the dumpee nothing wrong and the dumper wanted out because she said was not in love. My ex girlfriend dumped me, was later friendly to me when I saw her 2 months later and following NC.

However, a month after that she went cold/rude on me when I saw her again?

I never chased her after the first, friendly encounter, and she found out I was out dating (casually) again. I think these two factors may have made her upset. She also told one of our mutual friends that she herself was not dating anyone.

But, should I have chased again considering that she dumped me, said she wanted to remain friends, and never contacted me after dumping me?

Although I would have wanted her back as a girlfriend, it was great that she was at least cordial to after the breakup. I would have taken that over nothing.

But now, everything seems to be in tatters and it makes me sad.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks, all for the comments. I am glad I didn't chase and I wanted to date to get back in the game, so to speak.


However, perhaps I should not have brought a date to an venue where some of my ex's friends would be. I would never be so crass as to bring a date in front of my ex (although, I can't say she would show me the same consideration, especially now that she is apparently upset).


So, how do I proceed? Continue to be friendly to the ex or ignore her?

Updates

+1 y

So, my ex saw me sitting with an attractive female friend at an event the other night. I smiled and waved at the ex, and she did smile back. However, there was no interaction after that and she did not stay for the after event party at a local bar. I don't know if this is because she didn't want into run into me and who she probably thought was the girl I am dating. Ladies, did I blow my chances of any reconciliation?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Never chase after a dumper. Of course she was upset. She expected you to be devastated to not have access to her anymore. When you didn't play her game, she got pissed.

[chx000]

Thanks. I am disappointed that she has reacted the way she did. Perhaps I was naive, but I thought she was truly willing to be friends, in which case it wouldn't matter if I dated around after she dumped me. And I felt I was gracious throughout the breakup; not bugging her with any contact and saying hello with a smile each time I saw her post breakup. Perhaps she interpreted my socializing with women as an attempt to make her jealous, but it wasn't! I do have females friends after all.

[Anonymous]

Ignore her.

[chx000]

I will never contact her, but I may see her at a party soon. If we make eye contact and I ignore her, will I be stooping to her level and signal to her that her coldness is bothering me.

Would it be better to give a quick smile/wave/nod, even though I am certain she will not say hello back?

Once again, she dumped me and I have been calm and accepting about it. Therefore, I find this whole situation rather bizarre!

[QueenBeatris]

she dumped you so why should you walk on egg shells around her

[chx000]

just a quick hello, I guess

[QueenBeatris]

you are too good for her,move on as hard as it may seem

[chx000]

Thank you. I know that is the right answer, but sometimes the heart and mind conflict.

[bruvleigh]

ignore her, and when and if she speaks to you, just be friendly like you would be to a stranger

[Anonymous]

i chased my ex. do this if you never want her back again haha

for me, I was personally glad that I did- I was able to move on much easier

[Anonymous]

No, the dumpee should never chase the dumper.

a) It won't change their mind

b) It looks pathetic.

[Anonymous]

No, that's called desperation.

[chx000]

Thanks. I am glad I did not after that first time. I was hoping that when she was friendly, she would call me back, but she didn't, so I guess that is that. Now, she is apparently pissed that started dating again, but that is on her, not me.

[bruvleigh]

no