How Hard It Is To Be An Unattractive Woman

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone, I'm going to talk about my struggles being unattractive, and yes even though I do have a resting bitch face, that's not the unattrativeness I'm talking about. I'm not just bland, I am what you would call ugly, and I haven't come to terms with it 100% but I feel like writing this take would help me a little bit with it.

1. No one has ever flirted with me before

There was this one guy who wanted to use me as a challenge to laugh at me with his group of friends, and since I could tell early on I didn't give him a chance. Other than that, believe me, no one has ever in my entire life given me any attention or flirted with me or even had a crush on me or liked me as a person.

2. You have to compensate in other ways

This is something I see unattractive men doing too, but since a lot of women are attracted to status and can look past looks men actually have a chance of finding a woman no matter how 'ugly' they look physically. But men like looks more than personality, so you're pretty much screwed. I personally have stopped trying to compensate but I know a girl who just don't give in. She is confident but to the point where it's a bit too much. She fake walks in a way to make her ass wobble, she wears super tight clothes all so she can try and get attention from guys. Though they only look at her as easy, which is sad because she isn't secure enough in herself to just be who she really is and give up trying to get guys with her body. But the truth is, attractive girls get more male attention, so we all try to compensate one way or another for our bad looks.

3. I know most of my flaws

I know most of my flaws that it's impossible for someone else to find something new to hate on my appearance with. I know that I have a big and bulbous nose, I have a long face, some people told me I'm also unattractive because I'm black. I know I have a weird brow ridge and a receding hairline. I know I have a butt chin, and I know I'm super tall and taller than most guys around me (I'm 5'11). I know I have a middle aged mans body because of my bone structure and no amount of exercise could change it. And believe me, any insult on my looks I hear, it's nothing new, to the point where it doesn't even affect me sometimes.

4. I can never actually be beautiful

And there isn't anything really that would make me feel beautiful. And that's fine, to me that isn't the most important thing in the world. I don't wear makeup because it doesn't make my appearance better (believe me, a couple years ago it used to work but it doesn't anymore).

5. I still get attracted to guys I know I'll never get

This is the worst one of them all because if you get attracted to a guy out of your league, what will you do? I know damn well I won't get the guy, so why should I even try?

6. I get jealous a lot

I always find myself comparing my body or face to other girls who are attractive, rating other girls, wishing I had a perfect hourglass figure or a perfect face or a perfect anything, would I have been happier if I were attractive? I actually don't know, but all I know is that my priorities have changed because of the way that I looked, and I know I place more importance on my future career instead of finding someone.

7. I probably won't procreate

There's a lot of illnesses in my family, mental illnesses, genetic illnesses, autoimmune diseases. I know my genetics are horrible and I don't want to pass that onto someone else, let alone my ugly looks. And plus because of my body shape I may not even be able to give birth naturally and have to get a C-section if I were to ever be pregnant (I have a narrow pelvis/narrow hips). It's like I'm bound to not procreate or have babies. It would be selfish to spread my genes. I have other reasons to this as well but one of the big ones is because of all I just mentioned.

8. I may die alone

And I'm actually fine with this one. Every day I'm working on coming to terms with not finding someone. I really am fine with this. My taste in men is too high, and I'm super unattractive, so I'm too selfish to settle for less yet I know damn well I won't find a guy like the ones I'm into. So what does this leave me to? I'll end up alone and this at the end of the day, I'll be so okay with.

9. I cringe when attractive girls complain about their looks

Or even average looking girls, do you know how shitty it is to look the way that I look? To never get respect just because people are turned off by me physically? Do you know what it feels like to actually put in effort and still look ugly? That's how bad it is looking the way that I look.

10. No matter how successful or good I am at something, others have to point out my appearance

I already know I'm not good looking, what's the point of reminding me I'm ugly? I can't tell you how many times someone has pointed out my appearance or tried to make it seem like my achievements were nothing. It's like no matter who I'll become, people will always have a say in how I look. And believe me this happens to women more often than men, though it still happens to men a lot too.

11. Men can have status, women can't win if they're not attractive

I've mentioned this above but what I mean about this is that no matter how short you are as a man, how ugly, how small your 'package' is, whatever else insecurities men get, believe me if you have confidence, money or anything that signals high status, you can not only find a woman but a really good looking woman too. And I know it sounds like you won't ever be happy, but at least you'll get to experience being with someone, unlike me, someone so unattractive no one will ever like no matter what I do. And if you're a guy with an average to really attractive looking body, you'll still find a girl. And you can go the gym and work super hard to gain muscles and you'll look way better than before if you have an average body. But if you're a woman, you can't just go the gym and get an ass. Believe me, I've worked out so hard and yet it didn't work. We are limited by our bone structure and getting a hot bod isn't as easy as it may be for some men.

I honestly sometimes wish I was a man. Everything would've been easy and at least people would have overlooked my unattractiveness and focused on something else that's positive in me (my fondness for science and majoring in a certain scientific field and respecting me for actually having a passion instead of commenting on my unfortunate looks). And yes, this take is a little bit out of self pity, but I don't want others to pity me. I actually sometimes want others to validate my insecurities for me because I know that way I'll be excusing my failures of attracting someone or ending up alone or not getting plastic surgery or trying to fix something about my looks.

But I know I can't do anything. My parents gave birth to me and I turned out to look the way that I look. I sometimes even blame my parents for bringing me to this world but I'm an adult now and I'm stuck here so I have to do something about it I guess? Looks are superficial, but sadly humans won't change and attractive people will always have the upper hand in life. I'm not saying it's always easy for them, I'm just saying that others will like them better and look up to them. They'll get to procreate with other attractive people and they'll get attention. I wish I got male attention even once before in my life, but I never have and never will, sadly. I envy others for that too.

[Anonymous]

So sorry to hear what you go through. I'm not trying to whine saying this but being "pretty" often has its own set of challenges as well. Now, I'm not saying I'm not thankful being attractive because I am, but I have probably just as many issues as you. There are always women in the world who are going to be more attractive, so even if I'm the most attractive person walking into most rooms, I would still question if my significant other would leave me the second he found someone better. I've had extremely negative relationships where I think men like the idea of being able to call me their girlfriend, but never wanted to deal with the aspects of my personality that make me human. I've suffered from depression my entire life, but because I'm attractive, I can't complain to anyone about how I'm feeling because they'll just scoff and tell me it can't be that bad, I could have anyone I wanted. I also genuinely feel I'll most likely end up alone and I always try and hide behind my appearance as a way to justify to myself I'm worthy of love but I'm not. I'm nothing special and will probably end up as a cat lady.

[Powderpuff97]

Who cares

[MarkRet]

See that nerd on the left? That was me in high school. I was skinny and ugly as shit. I didn't talk to anybody, and I certainly didn't go on any dates. Girls would torment me with "Oh, you're so cute! I wanna go with you!" which I knew was a mocking joke, because they would then laugh their asses off. Now, look at the nerd on the right. That's a more recent picture of me. I still don't think I look all that good, but the difference is what's inside. There's a lot more confidence and positive attitude in there, which somehow makes me a better looking guy.

I've never been a stud, in fact, I was never really concerned about 'getting' somebody anyway, and only had a couple of girlfriends, but I've been married for 31 years. It's just a matter of being positive, and having confidence in yourself. It kind of projects an attractiveness out of you.

[Edwin23]

I disagree. Fundamentally
In my experience unattractive woman have partners all the time.
Unattractive woman also don't want unattractive men.
I see regular dudes with "typically" unattractive woman all the time.
As a woman you have what we want, whether it's in the package that we want it in it doesn't matter.
Unattractive woman also have crazy standards in todays modern world.
You wish you were a man? Ok, shit I'll trade with you. come work from 5 am to 6pm under the sun all day. 6 days a week, have your own car, etc etc all in order to just even attract a woman. But they still want nothing to do with you.

At the end of the day your a woman, who gets to choose who she wants to be with. Men especially unattractive men will never have the option.
You must have some type of personality flaw that drive dudes away. Or your giving off that mencing "gtf away from me" vibe. That it from the male version of your self. What your going through is the life of the Average male in todays world.

[Uglyman1001]

I agree 100% about the how Unattractive women don't watch Unattractive men so true they think cause their women they deserve Prince Charming while as ugly men are told to be happy what they get if they can get anyone.

[Sonjita]

Agree 😊 but everyone can improve their looks with exercise, make-up, nice clothes etc.

[CubsterShura]

Just an ordinary girl here, lemme tell you some things.

'I cringe when attractive girls complain about their looks' same. I literally unfollowed and cut ties with a beautiful friend of mine because she had the habit of calling herself ugly despite being literally worshipped for her looks on social media. I admit I have my own down days as well but I wouldn't publicly call myself ugly!

Believe me, looks alone give you nothing in life. I'm so happy to know that you are working on your career and you love science, cause me too! If I was a guy it would definitely be am automatic plus for me.

Do I look bad? I don't. I am still bullied and still being made fun of. Still ridiculed, still ignored. No one talks to me. It's because I am different from my peers. Sociability and social acceptance still play a huge role in your life. My ex used to pick on my dark skin and thinning hair. My relatives do the same. No matter what people have to judge. At one point I would cry because I felt like I have no value because I don't have pale skin and gorgeous hair.

And you can still make friends! Like I said improve your sociability. A good sense of humor is always attractive so let it your personality shine through it!

In terms of aesthetics, I don't believe that you can't look good. Everyone has the potential of refining themselves. Get clothes that fit your unique body type. Eat healthy and workout not to have an ass but for your own benefit. You can't look better than everyone, but you can look your best.

Best of all, if you ever get a man you will know that he loves you the way you are and isn't shallow at all. With beautiful women you never know when their husbands will neglect and cheat on them because they feel like their wives aren't attractive anymore. Cause outer beauty is temporary, inner beauty lasts forever.

[Anonymous]

You sound a bit low on yourself and everyone gets there and some people stay there longer than others. though here's what I've seen from my perspective, an unattractive looking girl can get a good looking guy. I know this because I have a friend who isn't the best looking but she's got a pretty good looking guy. The way she did it is by being fun, kind, nice, outgoing, social and she's pretty cool to hang out with.

There are many other qualities that guys look for that aren't looks. Looks may get a guy to notice a girl at first glance but looks won't keep a guy around. A guy doesn't want a girl like 99% of the girls out there. Guys want someone who is unique.

My advice would be to try, being outwardly happy (I know this is harder because people have said I look miserable too). People like being around happier people. I would also suggest, working out and staying fit. Even though you're a bit taller guys do like taller girls. Keep working on yourself. Try learning a new skill, working towards life goals and stuff. I'd in your case maybe also try getting to know a guy first before dating him. He gets to learn more about you before he starts dating you. This gets rid of the first date first impressions. Try dressing nicely (or differently if you already dress nice), your wardrobe does make you more attractive. It's not all about wearing super tight clothes that make you look easy (it also makes attractive women look easy). Just try to look your best. I know you said make up doesn't help anymore but I think you should still try using make up a little. Just don't overkill on the make up. Also just be naturally kind, vibrant or fun.

[Unit1]

"5. I still get attracted to guys I know I'll never get

This is the worst one of them all because if you get attracted to a guy out of your league, what will you do? I know damn well I won't get the guy, so why should I even try?"

Here is exactly why you are still single.
You said it yourself.

"no matter how short you are as a man, how ugly, how small your 'package' is, whatever else insecurities men get, believe me if you have confidence, money or anything that signals high status, you can not only find a woman but a really good looking woman too."

What a complete bollocks that is.
Confidence could get even us single for lifers only so far.
Money attracts the disgusting trash, that we call gold diggers.
The females, who dig "high status" as you said are the terrible kinds of females, that I rather want to have no business with at all.

On top of that even we can't achieve money if we were born in a poor family and in a poor household like me. I am still doing something about getting financially richer than I am now. It is not like we have always a choice.
It required me years of devoted work. And it still does.

"I honestly sometimes wish I was a man."

Uh oh.
It sounds to me like someone is not aware what she is signing herself up for.

Anyway welcome to the world of the average men.
Where we get as little attention from the opposite sex as you do from men.
We are in the same boat here kind of.

Even I have never experienced a woman to flirt with me :/
And it's not like I'm fat or short.

By the way: Big bones are actually a good sign. Don't beat yourself for it.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah I know that money attracts terrible gold diggers, but at the end of the day the rich man has the chance to experience it , even if it isn't a real relationship and someone just wants your money. though if you want someone real it is a little difficult , but women look for personality more than looks as opposed to men looking at looks first in women then personality.
And if no women have flirted with you , you should approach women. Now I know this sounds sexist , just cause you're a man you should approach the woman , but that's how it works in nature. Men approach women, and the women choose from the men that come after them , it's the biological way of things.
And big bones are a good thing for men , not women. Everything I have from looks to personality would have been 100× better if I were a man. I was even raised with mostly men.

[Unit1]

No relationship > transactional relationships with disgusting money hungry gold diggers
Personality > looks
Biology my ass. Why not just let the person know, that we like them?
Big bones = greater vitality in general. Man or woman.
There. I have said what I meant. Take it as you will.

[halfadozen]

Ok, as a man that missed the "Good Looks" line when I was born, and I know I'm not that good looking. But I have tried to make up for it. I tried to be a good person, I have learned the best way to listen to somebody is to learn how to shut up, and that there is NO SUCH THING AS A UGLY PERSON! Everybody has something attractive about them. I'll bet you a steak and Lobster dinner in France that if you post a real picture of yourself there would be guys wanting to meet you.

[Unit1]

Frankly just stop this pity party already.

Here is some proof, that black women are beautiful. At least to me they are:

photo-ec.realitykingscontent.com/.../...85.bio.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/LDoUzbs.jpg

I would really date such women ♥

[sovetskii13]

#1: Use a skill, hobby or personality trait to catch attention. You are always welcome to approach when you find someone interesting. Got turned down? Look for other potential partners. If you give up and shut the door, you will never find someone. So open the door and get out.
#2: Same as the first.
#3: That's a tough one. Ask for advice from others or online. I've done it.
#4: Same as the third.
#5: You never know. You never know. Giving it a try is the best way to find out. There are couples out there that are at opposite ends of the attractiveness scale. And it's not necessarily about money, status, or whatever.
#6: That's natural. And there is no negative in focusing on other ambitions such as your career.
#7: I'm not gonna procreate either. No big deal to me. There are sperm donors so you can still get pregnant and have kids if you wish. There is technology where you can edit genes. It's mostly used to prevent illnesses, but you can use it to edit the looks of your children if you wish. Research that.
#8: That's fine. I'm gonna do that too.
#9: It's easy to ignore them. We all have thoughts, feelings, preferences, etc. Focus on your own.
#10: If a person does that, they are sh*t and not worth dealing with. Put them on your 'Losers' list and forget. Search for those who appreciate your success.
#11: Not true. There is more to a girl than her looks. You just don't know it because you don't have a man's brain. Only men know.

[Ripper_E]

This is very depressing. Believe me, being a man is not as easy is women make it out to be. It's easy to say that when you don't have to live that life. As far as the opposite sex goes, we get hurt more than women. Why? because most women let the man do all the chasing, putting their feelings on the line because they are too cowardly to do it themselves. Those men end up becoming the men that women complain about after too many rejections. Women pass judgement on us in harsh ways, and sometimes just to play hard to get, which doesn't always work out well.

Attractiveness is all subjective. Everyone is attracted to something different, and that applies to both men and women. I've know women to think they are unattractive but I found attractive. Women are a lot more critical of their looks than men are, so most of the time, it doesn't matter if you tell her she's beautiful. If she has set her mind to believing she is ugly, then it's hard to change her mind and that's HER fault.

I've been attracted to women of different cultures, races, nationalities, heights, size, eye color, hair color, etc. You're not going to have what the girl next to you has, but she won't have what you have either. That which makes us all unique. Sometimes people flirt and don't know it. I'm blind when it comes to telling whether or not a girl is flirting with me. You have to be more confident in yourself. Confidence is attractive.

[cherryphi82]

What you wrote almost made me cry. I feel for you so bad! I want to do something, but I know I can't. Honestly, I want to see your face and your body, not to hurt you, but to see if it's really that dire because someone who writes so illustriously as you cannot be ugly. The fact that you're skinny/don't have an ass... this might have something to do with different beauty standards in the black and white communities. I seriously feel like a lot of what you say is a combination of things that are happening to you, not least of all racism. You have a witty, enlightened, capable mind, with a way of explaining things that are very difficult to describe. Your looks should not matter with a personality like yours, yet, I know they do. I hope with all my heart that you find happiness and joy, and don't ever say never. Just because you don't have a companion now doesn't mean you won't have one later down the road. People might not necessarily always come in the package you imagined. But don't completely give up on this. It is completely possible for you to find someone who wants you for you. Don't give up!

[Anonymous]

The rich and the powerful took it upon themselves to decide what is attractive and beautiful, they use things like commercials to show us what is considered attractive, and when you see it enough you start to believe it, that is why our idea of attractive is what it is today, because we have been told the same thing for centuries, for example in some most north American countries having a medium complexioned tan is beautiful in a lot of Asian countries having ghost white skin is attractive, in some African countries having a big plate looking disk/hole in your lip is attractive and it's all due to someone deciding it was attractive and then continuously showing and telling people "this is attractive.

Luckily there are a few people who don't use the media to decide what they are attracted to, and luckily there are BILLIONS of people around the world which means you are not limited to the people in your country... it would be highly unlikely that you wouldn't find a few people who would love you and find you attractive, THIS is a fact lol and I would dare you to argue with me about that. We have all seen people who are not conventionally attractive or beautiful in the eyes of the mainstream but yet they are in loving relationships. I have seen people with disfigured faces and bodies who are in love and living a fulfilling life.

My point to you is you may be unattractive according to the mainstream medias of the world, but have you ever stepped outside the mainstream followers? Have you ever met people or someone who was a deep thinker? Have you ever met and got to know an "alternative" crowd?

Would you consider yourself a misfit? Maybe you could find a misfit crowd to hang with and get to know, people who you can relate to, people who think differently, it could make a huge difference in your life to get to know people you can actually relate to.

Please update us and comment answering some of my questions, I would love to hear what you think.

[myTake Owner]

I get the there are billions of people out there and I could find someone , but what should I do? I've never been approached , I've approached many guys and they all rejected me , and their level of attractiveness wasn't all the same , so ik for a fact I'm that ugly to many many people. What should I do? I'm certain I'll die alone , I mean falling in love is cool and all but love is a feeling resulting from a mixture of chemicals that help human beings have and raise better offspring , then it fades away as we get older. So why should I even try to find love if I don't want to reproduce?
I have tried to talk to deep thinkers and meet different people , none of whom liked me. I'd say it's more personality related , but I know for sure it's looks related , at least to an extent.
And maybe I am a misfit yeah , tried talking to misfits but around me where I live and the place I study at people either use you or leave , and those misfits are usually people of low grades and end up Just

[myTake Owner]

Wanting to use me , which also means they treat me as ' either help me or I won't be your friend ' and I hate that , I can't even find friends who like me as a person. I'm completely alone in this world , no one likes me.

[Opinion Owner]

PART ONE
You have to venture out a little more, where have you been in your life? What places have you been to, what kind of people have you met in your life? How many times have you approached these people and where did you approach them? You might need a serious change of scenery... I doubt you have met THAT many people and how different were these people from each other? You mention talking to misfits who only want to use you to help them... failing students with cold intentions and no interest in socializing are not the kind of misfits I am referring to, just because you think and others think you are unattractive doesn't mean you shouldn't be selective with who you give your kindness to.

[Opinion Owner]

PART TWO
Have you ever tried volunteering? Visiting homeless shelters, hospitals retirement homes, or people who have suffered serious injuries causing them disability? Just to name a few. Visiting places and people like these can teach you a lot, often times these people have gone through a lot and have stories to tell and even sometimes can give you good advice because they have a lot of life experiences. Being in a different environment for a little while can really give you a new perspective. As for what's the point of falling in love? Well you don't have to especially if you don't want to but love without children exists. There are some people who can't have kids and they learn to live without them.

[Wollu]

Look at it from the scientific point. Appearance is a selector in procreation. The way you look is an inhibitor for passing on your genes. This has a good reason, as you stated that your body isn't fit for delivery. There is nothing wrong about how it is. It just happens that you are the person affected by it and I want to express my deep regret that it is so, because you seem to be a good person. But no one of us can change that. Men will and have to go for the looks if we want to have a society with good looking and healthy people. This is the way life works. Nature is indifferent to our feelings. Maybe you should stop thinking about your misery and study the matter instead. Get your validation from knowledge. You can do something for the community. Look at Steven Hawking. Is he complaining? Make yourself useful. Look at it from men's point of view: Beauty is in what you're doing.

[UnaKaizen]

beauty has nothing to do with health.

you can be fit strong have strong immune system be brilliant and have a conventionally unattractive face.

[UnaKaizen]

models are the last people who should be procreating.

[Wollu]

@UnaKaizen Well, they don't procreate. Men don't like them very much. Their appearance is adapted to women's ideals, not to men's ideals.

[myTake Owner]

I agree with you wollu, you gave me a realistic opinion and I appreciate it.
And yes , models are seen attractive by females , not males. Plus a lot of models are just hyped , many people start liking them so a lot of women start thinking ' this is what I must look like to be attractive ' when in reality , what the media shows as attractive is rarely true.

[myTake Owner]

@UnaKaizen how does beauty not have anything to do with health? it has everything to do with it ,
Symmetric faces ( no one's face is perfectly symmetric but a close enough face is more attractive ) are seen as more attractive because they are believed ( it hasn't been proven a 100% true but most likely it is ) to belong to people who had less childhood diseases and therefore are healthier. Also asymmetry could result because of muscle issues , which is also a disease at the end of the day.
Women who are short in height have better fat distribution and small bodies remind us of youth , so therefor that's why men prefer shorter women. And fat distribution itself also determines how healthy you are and which diseases you are more prone to getting. I could go on and on but you get my point , beauty has everything to do with health. Why do people prefer what I said above? Why do people prefer fit and healthy people as potential mates? It all has to do with health.

[myTake Owner]

@UnaKaizen and sure someone could have a perfect immune system and be unattractive , it still is better than someone who has a bad immune system and is unattractive right? The unattractive , healthy person will find a better mate to reproduce with , but the unattractive unhealthy one will have less chances.

[Bluemax]

Wollu, while what you've said is true, it is of no consolation to most people who are unattractive, including those who fully understand everything you said.

And honestly, do you know Prof. Hawking? How do you know he's not complaining to his friends, his confidents? Just because he doesn't include it in his books and lectures doesn't mean he isn't complaining. I grew up with people like Hawking (my bro has cerebral palsy). Many of his friends are disabled and disfigured. Outwardly, to the world, they put on a very brave face and probably have many people thinking the exact same thing you just said about Hawking. However, having been there in their private moments, when they are sobbing at their loneliness and about how they look, my brother and I have learned better. Many of them do great things for society... AND THEY STILL SOB because they're lonely, and telling them to cheer up because at least they won't be passing their genes on is absolutely no consolation to them.

[Wollu]

@Bluemax Thanks for your reply. Consolation is something that you don't need to survive. It's just making you feel different. What's helping is to start thinking and eliminate cognitive dissonance. I wrote that. If one needs consolation there are enough religions and other kind of self delusion practices that will help to escape the truth and make you feel better.

Complaining isn't suffering. Complaining is making others suffer from problems that they don't have. I can be suffering without pushing my problems onto others. I hope you understand what I meant.

[S_Rose]

Good response <3

[Sonjita]

Different men look for different things. There are guys who like really skinny girls and guys who like chubby girls, guys who like it when a girl dresses in a certain way, guys who like confident girls, guys who like quiet girls... etc. I know a guy who started dating a girl just because she had big boobs. That's all he was talking about for a few months. Later he fell in love with her personality, but she dumped him for another guy. 😂 Someone will find something beautiful in you or about your body. Don't look down on yourself. Try to feel beautiful in your own skin. Look for something pretty and try to enhance it. And don't be a toxic person. There's nothing more unattractive than jealousy and envy.

[amarahorrorstory]

I think your feelings are valid. But #9, being "attractive" doesn't automatically make you confident though, what other's see, usually if it's on your body you don't notice. For a long time, guys used to only talk to me to mess with me too. I'm confident now but I still take off my makeup sometimes and dislike what I see, other times I'm happy with it. But I had to build a confidence, which didn't appear out of thin air. I'm not going to sit and give you the "But everyone is beautiful in their hearts" speech because I know you've heard it, and I hate hearing it because it really doesn't help, even if it's true. What I will say is, you seem good at accepting things, which you might be benefiting from more than you think. But, I think you could use that ability to focus on your pros. Another part of reality, you could be in a relationship, undoubtedly, but you said yourself, you standards are high.

[Logorithim]

When I read something like this, I am really sad that someone would feel this way about herself. Rest assured that there are plenty of men who would be interested in a woman who is not what people generally consider attractive, and you are apparently accomplished in a scientific field, which is a huge turn-on for a number of men (you can attract some of these men because you're interesting to them). There is so much more to a woman than her looks.
I'd also like to stress that many men know that personality much more important than looks. And I wouldn't assume your looks are as bad you have indicated- we are often our own worst judges.
The upshot here is that you sound like you have given up, and when you have given up, you have failed. You only can succeed when you try, and since you're not even 25, you should continue to try, maybe just doing things differently than you have until now.

[myTake Owner]

But why shouldn't I give up? Guys around me only chase girls who are attractive , or have sex appeal. I have nothing looks wise, even the scientific type of guys are the ones that go after attractive girls. My ambition and personality in general turns them off actually m

[Logorithim]

Trust me when I tell you that there are guys who can look past physical appearance. Some of us find an ambitious woman a turn-on and are willing to look at the whole person. You might want to make it clear that your ambitiousness wouldn't extend to your dating/love life in the sense that you aren't just looking for someone who is useful to you (especially career-wise); rather you want someone compatible who appreciates you for you.

[KnightCross]

by reading your Take it seems that you have more an issue related to self-image and self-esteem than physical unattractiveness per se. if you are really that ugly as you say you are, then show me a pic of yourself (you can private message me to send me a link of your pic)

anyway, just 1) work in your self-esteem, 2) be healthful and 3) do physical exercises at gym to improve yourself, i dont think you will not be able to marry if you do all these 3 things i told you

[myTake Owner]

Are you really 14? You're very mature for someone your age. And thanks for those tips , I'm currently trying to work on my self esteem but I can't let go of the fact that I'm not attractive and attractive people have better offspring and I shouldn't get married or have children because it's pointless and so and so.

[KnightCross]

"I can't let go of the fact that I'm not attractive and attractive people have better offspring and I shouldn't get married or have children because it's pointless" >> HAHAHA... where did you buy that way of thought? from the Nazi Germany? haaha... no it's not pointless, the value of a person is not measured only by physical beauty

by the way yeaah i am 14! i have the heart of a 14 :P

[Anonymous]

Despite what they guys say, it's much easier to be an unattractive man than an unattractive woman. When you're a man all you need is money and your looks don't matter one bit.
Every day in the news is a picture of some ugly old man with a hot woman. Everyone knows she's in love with his money but everyone also knows he'll never be alone. Nobody will pity him and most will be jealous.
On the other hand, if you're an unattractive woman with money people will feel sorry for you and say that all this money won't even help her.
So if you're a woman is much better to be poor and hot than rich and ugly. Just another sad fact of life.

[Kkaos]

You're acting like looks define someone their whole life. Looks NEVER last forever. Once you reach 30, looks wise it's pretty much all down hill from there... For everyone.

What you can do is stop crying about it, forget about whether or not someone likes you. Focus on your passions, build a successful foundation for your life. Build a good career. Do things you enjoy and be happy.

I guarantee there are women who are FAR less attractive than you who are FAR more successful than you.

And you talk about how men can still attract women if they're high status? Oh how great, attract superficial gold diggers who are only with them for money and status and would drop them in a second if he lost his status and power. What AMAZING quality women he must attract into his life, ay?

Wake up.

[Jaximus-Lion]

If you can't like how you look, how would others do? That makes no sens.
Beauty has no face, beauty is what you are not how you look. This world is going under because of it, looks means nothing in my opinion
Women and men can look like a billion dollar without saying a word but they have no respect, no morals and no heart while unattractive people do billion times better things then the attractive ones and been called ''ugly'' by the attractive ones. Beauty has no face, Act is what makes you beautiful

[Douma]

It is hard and on the otherhand it is in your benefit. The hard part is the strange thing no man loves you while you are a woman and non stop rejected. On the other hand you learn a lot.
In a way you need not to make yourself an illusion. Because if you are pretty or ugly can not change the fact what you expect of a man. But if you are ugly you do not even need to bother and man spend a lot of their money on you while if you are ugly you can drop dead and they want you in many pieces. So as a woman you learn two sides to know of how man are and they are not ideal at all but boring.
Now the pretty woman must do their duty for these man and the ugly do not need to have to do that because there would be no fun in doing it and the pretty woman only want their money but man do want it that way so that is not a problem and it is better someone else is doing that then you had to do that because man are ugly. Very ugly.

[Anonymous]

If you don't got the face guys will still go after you... if the body is banging guys don't even care sometimes!

I too still get attracted to guys I know I'll never get. And it sucks but I can't help but stare. Sometimes I even try to talk to them so that they know I exist. I've been ignored many times but some are kind enough to talk without trying to rush and make excuses to end the convo. One guy even looked at me and said nothing while another just walked off without saying bye.

Ugh I cringe when I think of those moments but it's ok at least I tried.

And I'm sure a guy has flirted or hit on you (the old creepy men still count)

[Cosytoasty]

So negative and that is what makes you ugly 😌. Attraction goes beyond the physical... look at any busy street, and you’ll see everyone has SOMEONE who matches up with them.

by the way I fully agree with number 8 but writing a long take about it is NOT accepting it.

[myTake Owner]

I said I am working on accepting it , I haven't accepted being ugly though.

[Anonymous]

Shy, quiet, agreeable, passive guys are in the same boat. They're cursed with personalities that don't match the expectations for their gender. Sure, they'd be more highly regarded if they had money and status, but what are the chances that a passive, agreeable person could achieve those things? For such people, rising to the top in a cutthroat industry is as impossible as you changing your body type.

I've often wished to be female, so that the traits I was born with would be seen as desirable instead of labelling me a pathetic loser.