My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

I wouldn't care if my man isn't handsome. I believe character, intelligence, personality, these traits matter more than anything else.

This quote of mine seems to give every guy on G@G a 600V electric shock. Even worse, they tend to ask me HORRIBLE QUESTIONS. What if he is hairy like a gorilla? What if he has this disorder and that deformation, bulging tumors like the Colorado River toad, nose of Pinocchio, loose skin like that of a naked mole rat, one-eyed like the Antichrist.... Seriously guys, shut the flying fuck up.

My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

It disappoints me so much. How much obsessed with looks do people in the world have to be so that when someone actually says that he or she isn't like that, everyone would accuse him or her of lying and even ask such ridiculous questions like their life depends on it? Like they won't be able to sleep unless I finally say that 'I wouldn't want my guy to look like THAT!' As if they feel insulted to come across someone saying something nice. As if they are gonna choke to death if I don't admit I'm lying and I'm just as shallow as the other girls.

That being said, let me clear out one misconception about me. I have eyes. I have big, round eyes and I can see with them. I see attractive and I see unattractive. I also appreciate it just as much as others, I also embrace it. Beauty is always pleasant to look at.

My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

With beauty comes the eye of the beholder. Beauty truly lies in the eye of the beholder. Different people have different appearances, and different people find different things attractive. I am no exception. I also have my own perspective on what I find attractive in a man and what I don't.

With the subjectivity comes the factors that affect how we see it. Beauty is widely influenced by evolution and hierarchy. Several cultures have several ideas of beauty, our Brown culture does too. I see all people here liking pale white skin, even Bollywood actors endorse fairness creams. Over here we find Central Asian, Caucasian and White people really beautiful. I do too, people there are gorgeous. Last December I traveled to Kashmir and when we got out of the airport my immediate reaction was, 'Why are people here so beautiful?!'

But that is not all that I find beautiful. I don't feel like one has to look a certain way to be attractive. The media didn't create you, so they have no right to tell you that you are worth nothing if you don't look like what they want you to look like. Instead of thinking that a guy has to be fair-skinned, tall and all, I strongly believe that people of all skin tones, height, and body types can look beautiful. There are attractive men in all races and they all look amazing in their own way.

My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

And with all the embracing of beauty comes my personal favorite features! I love green eyes. Regardless of skin tone I love clear skin. Also thick hair. And who doesn't love a good, masculine, statuesque physique with well-defined muscles? I personally don't like 6 feet tall and above, they feel too tall for me. I'm short lol. Also, I have some favorite male celebrities.

My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

#Zquad

'But Cubster, I thought that you don't care about looks at all?' I gotchu right there fam, I'm getting in there right now.

So what's with the claim? Well, let's all face it, not everyone is attractive. Everyone isn't blessed with everything.

And you know what? IT'S OKAY. It's totally okay to not be the most handsome dude. Just how it is okay to not be a genius like Einstein, the richest man like Bill Gates, or the fastest athlete like Usain Bolt. Like, cmon, all these are also damn impressive traits to have. Everyone is equally valuable, because the world needs everyone of you for it to be a better place for mankind. What makes you better as a person is how you influence people around you, not how many people of the opposite gender drool over you, lol.

The traits that I mentioned are still ones that you have to work for. Of course, part of it comes from being gifted, but without putting your best effort to awaken your potential, you would never be your best version. Same goes for beauty. Some of it is determined by genetics, like eye color and bone structure, others depend on how healthy, fit and energetic you are. And also how you dress-up, but refining your own appearance is a different topic that I wouldn't discuss here.

My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

I just know that there is nothing wrong with looking unattractive, or even ugly if you wanna say so. Physical attractiveness is the first thing we see in a person, and people say something about primary sexual attraction which I don't give a fuck about, but it's not the only thing to appreciate in a person.

In fact, when looking for a long-term partner, his physical appearance would never be more important than several other things needed to maintain a healthy relationship. He has to have a good character, personality, wisdom, piety, discipline... I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with this dude, and my kids will call him dad. They will learn from his example not advices. I dare not be shallow.My Take on Beauty and Physical Attractiveness

So what does my guy have to look like at least? My answer: healthy and normal. To me, healthy isn't about BMI or aesthetics, it's about how you feel and how you carry yourself. I don't mind if a guy is thin, he doesn't even have to the Super strong. Nor do I mind when he is on the chubby round side. As long as he is not like he can't lift a dictionary or can't take a step without panting, as long as he is active and is having a decent diet, I see nothing bothersome about it.

Nor do I see anything bothersome in a face unless he has something abnormal, out-of-place in there. The key is, look like a healthy decent human being and you're good. Believe me when I say this, many guys tell me they are ugly and stuff but they look just alright to me. Alright as in I find nothing bad in their looks. Don't worry too much about features that you have no control over. Seriously, the rest is up to people whether or not they choose to be shallow.

I just sound like I don't have very high standards in finding my match. Well, actually, no. I have way higher standards than most people. I want a beautiful soul, which is far more rare than a beautiful face or hot body. And it can't be refined artificially, it cannot be altered by surgery. The idea of a hot boyfriend does sound nice at times, but one important part of growing up is not just give in to all your worldly temptations.

I won't answer any question regarding this topic anymore, not even on this post because it literally mentioned everything that I thought I should say, with exception being you needing some clarification in case you don't understand a line or two so I could elaborate. This is the last time I am ever talking about it here for once and for all. I am not obligated to explain myself to you. I am ending up with only one man in my life anyway hopefully, and life is temporary, so cheers. Nothing to be so serious about it, just enjoy your life. Thanks for reading! And also, yeah I know my picture selection sucks. You don't have to point it out. :)


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CubsterShura is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nice take. You can definitely overcome physical shortcomings elsewhere. You don’t need to be the hot stud or the model girl to get what you want out of relationships. It’s the go getting it that counts far far more.

    There are definitely traits that are universally attractive though (defined jaw, good facial symmetry and low body fat) ... beyond that it’s whatever flavour of guy/girl you like.

    I firminly belive it’s better not to settle too early for the first “nice person” who comes along. There are so many people and so many good people out there that you are almost certain to get close to your ideal looks and personality IF you have enough drive and value.

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    • Thank you!

      I have a cousin who married a beautiful girl, you see. He liked her on the first sight. But his wife ended up being a total materialistic bitch demanding for stuff that he can't afford plus she cheated on him.

      He divorced her and is now married to another woman who is honestly unattractive as per our standards here. But, my god, she is one heck of a sweet lady. Too bad women like her are rare.

      And this isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I even saw stuff that still traumatize me today. I've seen enough relationships among my relatives and friends' families to know from a very young age that looks and wealth really don't matter. I'd be grateful to God if he's just a caring man. :')

Most Helpful Girl

  • I love this take and I think on same line 😇

    As much as I love to look at Ranveer Singh, Chris Evans and Daniel Radcliffe, I'm not really that picky about looks when it comes to partner. Looking at aforementioned guys is like appriciating a painting or any other art to me. But its just that.

    I start liking a guy which y'all may call average or even unattractive, but his qualities and behaviour make him 10/10 for me.

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    • 'I start liking a guy which y'all may call average or even unattractive, but his qualities and behaviour make him 10/10 for me.' SAME

    • Where are you girls? Why can't I have such people in my life?
      Anyways, hope both of you get an amazing partner. One who takes care of you and always keeps you happy...

    • @mattai787 thank you :)

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What Guys Said 21

  • Nice take!.. I think some guys see so much rejection from women (online mainly) based on they looks that they have a hard time believin one doesn't care so much.. But I think at some point we've all liked somebody's personality so much that it attracted us to them.. I want a pretty girl ultimately.. But I've been real attracted to somebody because they exuded so much confident, and assurance..

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    • Thanks! And lol yeah these bitter dudes in here piss me the hell out. Someone here told me that he still knows what I want in the end. I said nothing. No use of it.

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    • Wow. Hypocrites.

    • Hahahaha.. You not wrong..

  • Could you please tell me what is the summary of your MyTake? Seems like it's all your personal opinion.

    Here my personal opinion is.
    I have my own preference and if I am not attract to a girls in the first place then I will never marry/date her because no attraction=friend zone.

    I am not attract to conventionally unattractive girls. If they are average then ok. For me first I have to physically attracted to them then if I find their personality is ***** then it's a totally turn off for me. Looks attract initially but personality makes me stay with them. If I don't attract to them initially then why would I bother date her?

    You are such a kind kind hearted who never every sexually attracted to attractive guys, it's such a entertainment for us. You are only attracted to ugly guys, it's also a entertainment.

    Women are perfect human beings are never shallow, especially on Internet!

    Women like ALSO one who will love them like they were a piece of cake! Of course, if he is not that good looking or his father does not have a mansion, then he would be psycho!

    We know what women like, but most will never tell us the truth.

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    • Yeah true. Most of us will never admit the truth especially to guys that we find really unattractive, like you.

  • Well most women were born into thinking it's all about looks. That's why they put a ton of make up on, fake eyelashes, hair extensions, plastic surgery, bleach their hair, fake nails etc.. Would be nice if it was mostly about the person than the looks. I prefer a great Personality over beauty. But Im into healthy, active women.

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    • Well I also love wearing makeup and dressing up and I never thought it's all about looks. It's something that I enjoy doing. I would never be with a guy who likes me for my looks only and sees no other quality in me.

      Looks are temporary. God forbid what if some kind of accident or any unfortunate situation causes a deformation in me and that time my partner leaves me cause I don't look good to him anymore?

  • "ask such ridiculous questions like their life depends on it? Like they won't be able to sleep unless I finally say that 'I wouldn't want my guy to look like THAT!"

    A lot of the guys on this site have very little experience with women, so it's understandable that they would ask questions like that here, where they have the chance to. Theyre just trying to figure women out.

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  • 6 foot tall? Well I'm out of the picture.

    Anyway, I really enjoyed reading your MyTake and I agree with a lot of what you said. I have a question. What is it like dating in Bangladesh?

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    • Almost all of us avoid physical stuff before marriage. Most of us keep the relationship hidden from our parents until we are grown up.

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    • Well, I was a Muslim, not anymore because of silly rules like NO sex before marriage otherwise you'll burn in hell. Sounds very scary huh? I wonder why would God threaten us with hell without giving reasonable explaination why is having sex before marriage evil?

    • 'no sex before marriage or you'll burn in hell' um if that's what you think of Islam then you still lack knowledge of Islam.

  • That's a really nice mytake. I get your point and kudos to you for putting it out in such a clear way.

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  • I'm sure you're right, but you are talking exclusively about selecting a man for the long term, and for that character, potential kinship, loyalty etc. IS a lot more important than looks anyways.

    It's good it is so, because otherwise there'd be a significantly larger group of perma-singles out there.

    I think the problem average/ugly guys have though is that they also wanted to have a lot of hot flings before getting to the point to settle with one person, and this I think hot guys on average get decidedly more of.

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    • A guy that wants good looks for these things doesn't have a good character. Mingling around with women until he's outgrown that stage and then settle down? A terrible idea tbh.

    • Yeah, I mostly agree. I'm just calling it as I see it.

      I digress slightly from what I said, because I don't know if actually having sex with a lot of people is very relevant, more like getting it on good confirmation that you have a general attractive appeal, or at least had, for a while.
      I don't know if it's a sign of bad character so much as fragile character, but I'm sure I'd be a lot more anxious today if I didn't have a few flings + all the times when that was definitely in the cards but didn't happen for other reason (confidence wise, those memories are on the same level).

      It's really not that strange. I think women in the same boat, no or too little confirmation of their attractiveness in their past, lands one great dude in spite of it all, but is still haunted by self image issues/feeling unwanted; in spite of the fact that there's someone there who obviously do want them.
      It can be a tough thing to overcome. Even if you logically KNOW that it shouldn't matter.

    • Yeah it can be.

  • I was born with a Classical sense of form and aesthetics. This extends to the entirety of the body - yes, feet included! The more one resembles such, the more pleasing I find them to look at.

    Personality determines whether I want to be around them.

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  • I've seen girls that weren't the every man's girl, not all that attractive. But on the other hand there's something about them that makes them even more attractive and it has to be her certain flaws.

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  • Would you judge him harshly if he was not very good at mathematics? Or would you be kinder to him than you are to yourself?

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What Girls Said 9

  • Wonderful my take! :D And yes you are correct about this! : ) Character is wayyyy more important than looks! I look for good personalities in guys rather than outer appearances! ^u^ Outer appearances would fade after a few years afterall

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  • Bless you for speaking of this out loud! I wish more people could think this deep.

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    • Awh thanks :) a wise dude says that it's about things that you go through in life. I totally agree with him. Of course I have never been married, lol but saw some stuff with my relatives husbands that still scare the crap out of me.

  • No. He has to be good looking. But yeah I would look for qualities too. So if he's a dumb bitchy jerk with hot looks, he ll get kicked. But if he's a good looking dude with a kind heart then its a win win. But sorry, I can't be with someone who doesn't look good.

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    • Its basic biology. We are attracted to looks. And I can't be with someone I am not attracted to.

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    • I mean attracted to his physical attractiveness. I need to gind him attractive otherwise he can have the best persobality but if I don't find him hot, its a no

    • It doesn't bother me 💕

  • Beautifully Written and We need more like you <3 :)

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  • If someone is funny and nice and comfortable to be around then all the other stuff physical stuff doesn't matter as much

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  • ME TOO GIRL!!! FUCK IT UP, YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON BBY GIRL!

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  • Appearance matters to me. i won't date guys I'm not attracted to.
    People want to ignore biology but we are attracted to looks, but the personality makes me stay with them.

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    • Don't we all ignore biology to some extent? I don't judge people for caring about looks, it's totally fine. But don't give excuse of biology for it.

    • It's not an excuse. There's actually research done on it based on evolutionary science.

    • Research says a lot of things and if we look into it then we are doing a lot of things wrong in our daily lives. It's hypocritical to cherry pick and talk about research when it comes to judging people only and nothing else.

  • Great...

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