Prominent Features: Ugly or Beautiful?

[MelaninQueen21]

*Caution* (If you are judgmental person and you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself and do not comment on this post. Your comment will be reported. Thank you!)

"Beauty Standards" have affected women for many centuries. Standards have also changed almost every single decade. For Example:

1860s: Corsets Were Required for Women to Wear Underneath Their Dresses to Make Them Look Shapely

1920s: Corsets Were Abandon and Women Wanted to Be Free By Wearing Strapless Bras. The Boyish (Petite) Body Shape was Preferred. The What We Now Call "Smokey Eye" Looks Was The Go To Look.

1950s: Ms. Marilyn Monroe Was Considered a Sex Symbol Because of Her Full Hourglass Figure

1960s: Feminism Was Taking Over and Supermodels Were Becoming a Thing. "Twiggy", With Her Long and Slender Legs and Petite Body Was Now The Face (Look) as To What a Desired Women's Body Type Was.

1970s: The Athletic Body Type, Feathered Hair and Tanned Skin Was Desired Amongst A Lot of Women, Especially Caucasian Females. For Some Black Women, The Afro Hairstyles Was Most Preferred.

1980s: Big Hair and An Athletic Looking Body Was the Ideal of The Decade. Take Madonna As an Example.

1990s: Going Into The 90s, Pale Skin and An Angular Face Shape Was In. Just Look at Kate Moss.

2000s: The Tall, Stick Figure and Long, Blonde Hair Was The Ideal Look for Women in The Aughties Era. Paris Hilton Is Often Though of.

2010s and Present Day: The Hourglass Figure, Tiny (Toned) Waist, Big Bust, Full Lips and Big Eyes Were, and Still Are, Most Desired Amongst Women Today, Especially Amongst Teens and Young Adults. Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Jennifer Lopez, Gigi and Bella Hadid, etc.

I think we all can agree that "beauty standards" have taken over today's world in society. Many of us may possess a "preferred" feature, but we are still deemed as "ugly" and or "unattractive"! Why so? You have to remember that although we've come a long way, throughout the years, especially here in America, we are still dealing with people of specific races being discriminated against for what they were born with. This goes for specifically POC (People of Color). The features that many of us were born with are desired, but not on our faces or body! How ridiculous is that.

In today's world, small upturned noses, big doe eyes, full lips, V shaped jawline, light skin, as well as tan looking skin are the most desired. Along with this, long, full, silky hair, besides loosely curly hair, is most preferred.

In my opinion, although all shapes and sizes that women posses are beautiful in their own way, aren't we all affected by what the world (media) wants us to look like and pressured to achieve to look a certain way, whether it's going on a diet or getting plastic surgery? The standards of the western world has taken a toll and has altered what many think beauty is supposed to look like!

What I really feel like is that those who have prominent features, often get left on the back burner and or are looked at with disgust, like we're undesirable, unattractive because of how "big" or unique our features may be. As a woman of color, and as a minority in the States, I have some prominent features, as well. I have full lips, a pretty broad, but upturned nose. I also have big doe eyes and a prominent jawline. I also have a slender figure. Some of the features that I possess are deemed as unattractive, especially on my face, but beautiful on a White woman's face. Not here to pick on Caucasian women, but this is the truth. Some pictures of me are below:

Prominent features are often categorized with women from certain ethnic backgrounds. Some traits are even common for some who are part of a specific race/ethnicity. Some women (as well as men) have a long, hooked nose. Some may have broad and wide noses. Some women have thin lips, while others have full lips. Some women have small almond looking eyes, while some have what some may call, "bug eyes". But did you know that in certain countries (regions) of the world, certain traits (especially prominent features) are deemed as more attractive or desired to have? This is also known to have occured in history. I encourage all to look up prominent features throughout history of the world.

Although my opinion won't change beauty standards of today, I think that prominent features are gorgeous and something unique to you that no one else has! They represent us and who our ancestors were and where they came from. The pictures that I put below are of some beautiful ethnic women from around the world. See how diverse and beautiful all features can be, no matter how big or small!

Arab Woman

Malian Singer

Sicilian Woman

Indigenous Mexican Model

Miss South Africa

Although this wasn't as detailed as I would've liked it to be or as long, I hope this brings attention to all the women (and men) out there, who have prominent features that they're insecure about. Just remember that what you're insecure about, others long to have what you were born with! Thank you.

[Lliam]

Good MyTake, MelaninQueen21.

One minor oversight was the Flapper trend in the 1920 where it was a fashion for women to bind their breasts and wear clothing that de-accentuated their curves. It wasn't dissimilar to the Twiggy look. There was also the fad, popularized by early movie stars, of plucking and penciling in thin eyebrows.
But that's unimportant other than to point out the strangeness of fashion trends that are popularized by movies and advertising.

I think many fashion trends, including clothing, makeup and hair are ridiculous. It's odd that so many women try to copy the latest trends. Although, as more and more fashions are developed over time, some work really well and give people more choices to choose what works for them.

Men are attracted to female bodies, including smooth skin. But when it comes to certain features like boob and butt size, hair type, and facial features, men's tastes are as varied as are women's appearances. In fact, a lot of guys are pretty open-minded and uncritical. I think women are the ones who tend to overthink and assess every detail of their appearance.

It's one thing to look the best you can. I think women's concern for grooming (hair, nails, smooth skin, tasteful makeup), clothing, and overall appearance is adorable. But a lot of guys can be turned off when women overdo it to the point of looking fake with things like too much make up, crazy hair styles and colors, grotesque nails, lip injections, plastic surgery enhancements, and even tats and piercings. Trying to achieve perfection accomplishes the opposite.

Maybe I'm biased in my partiality for the fresh, feminine, girl next door look and the ability for her to transform like a chameleon from a tom boy one minute and into an elegant woman the next.

I think what makes a person most attractive is happiness, joy for life, and comfort in their own skin. If a woman thinks she is beautiful, men will think she is, too. After all, personality aside, women already have what men want in a sexual partner. Physical details are inconsequential as long as she knows how to be a woman and enjoys it.

By the way, guys can be just as subject to insecurity about themselves based on fashion, marketing, movies, etc. There's enough low self esteem to go around.

[MelaninQueen21]

Definitely agree!

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, MelaninQueen21.

[t-8900]

The women on here I am not attracted to are the Arab girl with her beak nose (I am NOT picking on her for it just I don't know what else you call it?), all the women from the first 3 photos your shared, the one above paris hilton, paris hilton, and to some extent Beyonce. But for her that's more due to her recent stunts over the last few years that really turned me off to her. All the other ethnic girls you posted I PREFER over most white women AND I am white myself. Mexican, Colombian, Dominican, Puerto Rican, East Indian, Ethiopian, Khmer, Arab, South African, Mauritian, Moroccan, Bengali, Persian, Filipina, Vietnamese, and Armenian women. I literally go coo-coo for Cocoa puffs for these types of women and I suspect many of the women I have been with (all white) resented that about me. I am Italian (Piemontese) predominantly, Sicilian, and then some Irish. Trends dont tell me what I find attractive. I feel it's women pushing that narrative more than anyone else. My dad and his friends always make jokes about big asses that are due to implants as well as fake breasts.

I dont know any guys personally who find cosmetic surgery or the idea of cosmetic surgery on their women at all appealing. As for you, if I was available, we lived in close proximity, and clicked on a first date I'd take you out for more. I honestly feel like you have pretty eyes and nice lips. I would say experiment with more hair styles however and maybe ditch the jeans imho. With your build and style it makes you look hyper masculine. Some girls pull off different styles better than others. Your calling imho is more feminine wear. You look better with your hair down in the third pic and better in that dress in the second pic. I am giving constructive criticism so please don't take what I say as an insult. You are not an unattractive woman. I love eyeshadow and eye liner on my girl. I love glossy lips too. Just MY preference but something you might consider experimenting with. I think you could pull gloss off well with your sexy lips. Anyways like I said I hope you dont take this as a comment to hurt you because it's not you are attractive.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you for your response. I am not insulted, nor offended. I did, however, find your comment somewhat ignorant. I like my hair in it's natural state. I keep it in an Afro due to how much damage and breakage I've caused my hair with "experimenting" with different styles. So it's healthier to keep my hair in this style, to prevent further damage.

I also feel comfortable in what I wear. If I didn't, I wouldn't have included it. If it makes me look masculine because of whatever reason, then so be it! If it makes me look feminine, then whatever. Whatever I feel comfortable and confident in, I wear, not for you or anyone, but for me! Anyways, thank you for your response and not being disrespectful.

[t-8900]

No worries. I however take a different approach to the mating strategy and found it helps me more. Wear what girls like, have a hair style that girls like, that's what i end up going with after. I think it attracts more potential candidates so that's what i go with. Forgive the ignorance I was watching a few other black womens channels on YT and they talked about the "relaxed natural" look and how much they loved it so I just didn't really know. But yeah it does make sense if that's your natural hairstyle so be it too.

[Shizunk]

Talking about prominent features, that beak nose seems to be a really good example of something that attracts so much attention it gets people to think. I personally like it on the first glance, but it reminded me of one more point I wanted to make. When I click through photos in dating profiles, and I click through a lot, anything that makes me stop and think for a second, including potentially the text under the photo, increases the chance I will consider someone attractive. My guess is it tricks the brain into thinking I know the person, have some sort of connection to her. Not sure if that is something others experience as well. But it would seem to speak in favor of unusual features.

[t-8900]

@Shizunk interesting. I can't say it's that which decides things for me.

[DianaWest]

wow, you say that you prefer all other women over white women as if it is your proudest achievement in life. so many racist losers on the internet that always have to make it a competition and pit women against each other for something that is out of their control (race). congratulations for being a racist.

[t-8900]

@DianaWest hmmm not really. I still said I found them attractive. I just prefer dark hair and eyes. A lot of people have preferences like that do they not? I've also said I've dated only white women and am myself white. So uh... I don't know I can't say what I find more attractive? What about with you with men short vs tall, long hair vs bald hair, blond vs brunette?

[t-8900]

@DianaWest also men compete for women as do women compete for men. Since we live in a monogamous society that's kind of how it works. I understand it sucks, because for all of us IT DOES. But it's not a big deal anyways. Not like I'm a catch.

[DianaWest]

@t-8900 okay. just phrase it better next time. you obviously can have preferences.

[t-8900]

@DianaWest it could all just be a phase in my head. the "mystery of the unknown" sort of thing I don't know

[Ks8wbrsjs]

you're an idiot

[NicoletteXO]

I think you're very pretty - though I would love to style you; I think I could upscale your attractiveness a lot just with some tiny tweaks! Even though you are already attractive :)

I personally have a lot of the 'desired traits' - hourglass figure, v-shaped face, piercing blue/green eyes, long dark hair... I have fair skin which tans in the summer, but it's also easy to use a tanner during winter to maintain the desired glow.

The one thing I have struggled with is my nose. I have a Croatian background, and I have a slight aquiline nose (not a prominent one like your picture, but still). It's funny, I have had so many people (especially guys) tell me they love my nose (without any prompting). And a lot of people tell me it makes me look sophisticated. But with the proliferation of focus on tiny, upturned noses, there is some part of me that still feels a little uncomfortable with it. I have considered a nose job, but not sure if it's worth it - I'm not THAT worried about it. I also think it could be wise to just wait another 10-15 years. If I still feel the same, then I might as well get it done. However, it's also likely that the 'fashion winds' may shift and I might not feel the desire.

I still remember seeing an interview with the comedienne Chelsea Peretti - who has a HUGE aquiline nose, much more prominent than mine... it was amazing to me that while I do think some people find it unattractive, there were all these men in the comments section saying she looked like a 'Greek Goddess' and she was their perfect woman. I was like, 'really'? Goes to show though that beauty is often in the eye of the beholder, and we should be careful not to get carried away with trends, lest we lose the features which make us unique.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you for your response on the subject and for the compliment. About the outfit situation, I'm good. I have a diverse style in my wardrobe. Look on my profile, and you'll see that I have an eclectic style. I can go from Grunge to Punk to Basic to Chic. So I'm good on the fashion thing! in my opinion, I don't think I need to change who I am, as far as clothing. I'm a chameleon.

But I appreciate your statement about this topic. Although I don't know what you look like, I bet that you're very pretty 😊

[NicoletteXO]

Cool - if you're happy and feel great in your own skin, that is all that matters! And thank you :)

[MelaninQueen21]

NP 😊

[Anonymous]

I do believe there are a set of standards for true physical beauty. however people can be beautiful regardless of the features others find ugly. I have some prominent features that make me feel extremely insecure, if I had money I would certainly do a lot to myself or at least fix the worst in my body. I think that people have the right to be accepted and loved by others regardless of what they look like. I think people have the right to remain the way they believe is the best of them, no matter what others say, and I believe this attitude is very brave. there are many things that make a person beautiful. when you know a person and they love and cherish you truly, they are always beautiful to you.

[MelaninQueen21]

I agree and respect your statement 👏🏽

[Halibut]

I think every woman there is attractive. It's also relevant that I don't think it's just physical beauty that has to do with that we find attractive in that shallow "I want that... regardless of personality" kind of way.

I almost never get attracted to black women. That weirded me out for a long time. For, you example, are extremely attractive and I've found lots of black women extremely physically attractive... but in a temporary kind of way.

It took me a couple decades to figure out that my lack of attraction to black women is almost entirely rooted in accent. It's Ebonics that kills if for me. I'll probably be a lot more likely to be attracted to a Nigerian woman than an African American woman, for that reason. I think you're quite attractive now... but if you say one word that's even slightly Ebonics-ish... even if there's just this kind of... general accent African Americans tend to have... you'll drop down about four rungs on my attractiveness rating.

I have no idea why that is. I know sounds matter a lot to me. I listen to a lot of ASMR. From an evolutionary standpoint it makes absolutely no damn sense... and obviously, lots of men have no problem with that or it would have been, kind of, weeded out.

It's not an unfamiliarity thing either... because I love foreign accents.

That said, I can easily tell you're way out of my league... so you're not exactly missing out on much. If you do speak in Ebonics... I don't think you have much to be disappointed about if there's some giant, muscular, manly black dude who thinks your accent is hot... but my scrawny, nerdy, overweight ass is out of your dating pool.

Also, I think it's noteworthy that to me, the most attractive woman on there is without question that Arabic woman with that hooked, hawk-like nose. I have a major thing for Arabic women. There's a guy on here who finds every one of those pictures attractive except her... so yeah... I don't know why it is, but people have different preferences. If some people don't like your look... that doesn't mean everybody won't.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you for your response and for the compliment. Much appreciated 🙏🏽

Although I appreciate your honesty, I do, however, have a problem with how you judge the attractiveness of a woman, based off of her accent/dialect, especially towards Black women. Not all Black women sound the same. Many of us are from different regions of the country.

Now I'm attracted to all races of the world. Although I do find some Black men to be attractive, I'd rather date and marry someone outside my race. That's just me and my preference. Like how I don't prefer a Southern Accent. I can't stand some southern accents and I hated hearing them. But after living in the south for a decade, there are a couple of southern accents that I would find sexy. Like a Texan accent. For example, Matthew McConaughey or Patrick Swazye. Now although I do not prefer the southern accent for my man to have, if he's attractive and his personality is, I would not mind it. In fact, I would find it to be sexy.

Here's a link to where you can hear what I sound like:
https://vocaroo.com/1fUqoEA7SEIv

Now I'm pretty good at imitating some accents after hearing them and some of them will stick with me, but for those who meet me, that doesn't affect how they see me. Yes some accents can be a turn off, but we shouldn't judge.

[MelaninQueen21]

And yes, that Arab woman is pretty. I don't know why some men don't find her attractive, although I do know why, but everyone has their preferences.

I do have the mentality of going around thinking that every good looking man I see, I'm not their type, but I don't show it like I'm not. Instead, I show them that I can be their type.

[Halibut]

I apologize if I've offended you. You're clearly someone who takes discussions like this seriously, and you're quite patient too. The type of accent I'm talking about is not a regional think. It seems to be nationwide. I would say the vast majority of African Americans I've seen on TV or in person or anywhere have a similar accent. You're an exception.

That said, while for most people... me being less attracted to people because of an accent might seem kind of anal-retentive... I don't date anyway... so maybe I less of a point to trying to scrub that out of my mind than most people would, because it doesn't make much difference to me anyway. Thanks for your comments. I like when people improve this website through making intelligent comments, and I think that's you.

[Shizunk]

There are definitely types that are more popular based on culture. Already at school we were taught that in certain communities where hunger was traditionally an issue, they consider as attractive types of women who in the west would be considered hopelessly obese.
Unfortunately, if you are not in the category that currently resonates with men, you will be relying on people with specific tastes if you want your beauty really really appreciated. For me as an example, your face is great, but you would be in the "ok but a bit too thin" category. From what I hear though, I think women in particular (and some men, too, actually) underestimate the diversity of tastes in men.
If someone is significantly overweight, yes, that is a hard limit. They are really talking to 5-10% of men, who also tolerate thinner women as well, so there is still fierce competition even if they are open tothe idea of thicker bodies. Not a fun situation to be in. For most unusual features though, it's much more of a lottery than some women realize. For example, I do not consider the majority of the above celebrities to be attractive at all. There are several different reasons, but in the end, I will have a hard time telling you exactly why.
In general, as someone who has specific tastes in both looks, views and morals and other areas, it is a bit of a mixed blessing. If you are in the general category, anyone may be interested, but no one will be obsessed. If you tick all of someone's highly specific boxes and they rarely get the exact mix they like, they will be much less willing to let you go for exactly that reason. I personally prefer to be rather in the group where its hard to find what I want, but when I see it, I know it's sooo right!
And even if you get less immediate and "easy" attention, it seems to me that the range most men will accept in the end is relatively wide anyway. At least if they are serious and not just clicking 30 pictures a second. Real life is much less demanding than the internet.

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you for your response

[Chrissydamusicgirl]

I think the way we think about “prominent” features stems from a Eurocentrism and white normalcy/supremacy. Noses that point down/flat noses/fat noses for example are all beautiful but aren’t inherently “prominent.” I’d argue white ppl’s noses and hair are ‘prominent’ Bc like their noses are so thin/sticking out than everybody else.


Our beauty standards throughout history have all been about idealizing certain POC features (mostly Black, then Mezitix Latino) features on white women but demonizing it on women of color. Like go back decade by decade. 2010s wide hips, big lips is idealized by mainstream American media, features common among Black and Latinx people. 2000s is an exception to the rule solely bc there was a sort of white flight in the early internet era, where only rich people (mostly white) had regular dependable access to the internet, thus inherently propelling the standard that white is prettier to the forefront. As for 90s, you got the whole big boobs thing which is more common among Black women, 80s you had the whole perms situation w the curly hair which is a POC feature. 70s was the tan skin, but then when it was a poc that’s got the same shade it’s all different. They love to take our features but hate us when it’s on us. It’s historically been that way throughout history, them wanting to erase our identifiers so they can push the narrative that “we’re all the same.” Taking our features reinforces their false perception that we are all one big happy community who can share our cultural markings so, they do this bc it makes them feel better about their white guilt. About their ancestors g*nociding continents, eliminating languages and religions, taking prisoners and sa’ing everybody bringing disease, their ancestors setting up the Atlantic slave trade, makes them feel better about having an uncle that collect confederate flags, and perhaps most relevant today, makes them feel less guilty about a.) performative activism that doesn’t change [if they’re liberal] or b.) not even acknowledging the institutions they know are there [if they’re conservative]. Universally all white people that partake in this do so to feel less bad about their own colonization within modern society. If the race doesn't matter via a world where we can share features, then they can excuse “moving to Brooklyn to save up” as a non-racist action. Gentrification loses its racial aspect, as does colonizing music (look how many white rappers there are), as does Blackfishing, using dialects like AAVE, Chicano English, and/or Latine Diaspora English, none of that is an issue anymore if they steal our features. It pleases their white guilt and since they are the majority and have historical and generational power and influence over everybody else in our society, they rule the beauty standards to what they want.

[224466881010]

I think you might be getting worked up for nothing.

Media definitely has an influence on beauty standards on a gross average in society. And that changes based on the society you're in too. But what's great about our world is that not everybody wants the same thing. However I feel that you believe otherwise because of a "societal beauty standards" which to me is just the average of all preferences. Perhaps your personal experiences have pointed you towards believing that everyone wants some light-skinned Kim K archetype of a woman and that's unfortunate, but my experience gives a counterexample and I promise you that not everyone is like this. It might just be the area you're in or the people you hang out with.

That counterexample is that guys I have spoken to have different ranges in their preferences and they often don't want the same women that I want. They often have some specific niche and quirky traits that they are after. It's absolutely not uniform.

Also, I don't agree at all that your features would look better or worse on a caucasian woman's face. I don't know where you get this idea from.

It seems to me that you feel dispossessed about your own beauty or like society rejects you in some way. I don't agree at all that these perceptions exist in a prominent way across people. You might be projecting a little. You're a cutie anyway. There are definitely guys who would love you.

If people explain that they actually think the way that you're trying to fight against, they're probably kinda ignorant or some kind of troglodyte who can't appreciate other cultures. There's nothing wrong with a preference, but damn, they'd be missing out. More for the rest of us with good taste🤩 Pay no mind to these people who have such plain taste. They have nothing to do with you.

Focus on your life and don't believe any of that bullshit that you think the media is trying to push. Believe in yourself. Nobody else will do it for you. If you don't believe you're beautiful and believe the world is out to get women like you, etc. it will show when you're walking around the world. All that mental baggage will be there in the background of every interaction you have with people. They might not be able to point it out clearly, but it's there. If you don't even believe you're beautiful, why should other people? If you believe that you're a victim and the world is out to get you, only people who want to show you pity and sympathy or others who believe the same thing will respond to you, because people who don't believe that bullshit will subconsciously notice that you have this conversation in your head and will avoid you. It's kind of annoying to deal with after all, and it will take effort to debate you on it and what not.

I'm not a victim in my head. I notice right away when other people think they're victims. It's surprisingly hard to convince people that they aren't victims. It's like they're addicted to it. It's so frustrating. I instinctually want to avoid people like that because they're so annoying to deal with. It takes effort to try and offer a different perspective and try to help them free themselves. In the end it's up to them and whether they want to free themselves or not. But do you see where I'm coming from here?

[224466881010]

*It's frustrating because you can't save people who don't want to be saved*

[MelaninQueen21]

I think you're missing the whole point of this MyTake. This is about beauty standards and how they affect women (as well as men) worldwide. Most of those beauty standards are based of of Western features, meaning more Caucasian like features. It's a known fact. Everyone should know this.

And as far as me, this isn't about me. It's about people like more and similar to me, all around the world, who have features that are deemed as unattractive, based on what they see in the media and what people tell them. I'm just raising awareness for those who don't look like those girls they see walking down the catwalk or on tiktok. Beauty comes in all shades and shapes. And that needs to be appreciated.

[224466881010]

Hmm ok perhaps, and if so it's because I suppose I take for granted that people can appreciate the beauty in the facial features of their own cultures and ethnicities.

I also think that it's extreme and a stretch to say that people with features that aren't explicitly western are "deemed unattractive". I've never seen a tabloid, news cast, YouTube video or any piece of media explicitly "deeming" these types of features as unattractive. Have you?

I would also push back on the idea that beauty standards of the world are based on caucasian features. If you live in North America or Europe, then they absolutely are. But if I was in Nairobi or another prominent African metropolis, I don't think I'd see a beauty standard based on caucasian features. And why would I? Wouldn't African models and African features sell better to that demographic? Wouldn't a British woman in an ad seem kind of irrelevant or unrelatable to the populace?

[MelaninQueen21]

Very much so is Western beauty standards affecting Africans, especially those in West, East and North Africa. People bleach their skin just to be lighter, thinking that they'll be more attractive or get more opportunities for having lighter skin. I'm surprised that you don't even know about that.

[224466881010]

I'll look it up

[CrazyGirl2]

Fantastic! There is NOTHING as “socially constructed” as the idea of ideal beauty! A man posted a 10 point list of why he would rather be a woman… surprise! Most of it was our ability to charm, look beautiful, get what we want (ie charm BECAUSE we are beautiful), we have beautiful genitalia, we have perfect smooth bodies, etc…
I gave it to my mom who is a physician to answer… she said he had a Distorted, unhealthy, Youth Biased, view of the female body, and questioned whether he had ever actually seen a naked woman who was not in porn or playboy because 98% of the population does not look anything close to his idea of beautiful femininity! This type of “man” (well, he isn’t a man, no man wants to be a pretty girl), but it’s the reason so many of us commit suicide every year! I am actually a very attractive young woman. I have never had an issue where a guy was not interested b/c I was not attractive enough for him, but even I have been called an “ugly bitch” because of the pressure on young girls to look a certain way is so crushing, people know that “ugly” is the perfect word to hurt us! We place so much value on our own ability to be beautiful, that we are killing ourselves rather than grow-up unattractive! Something has got to change!
Thank you for writing this, it was brilliant!

[DonRollins]

Only ones I find very attractive are the Sicilian Woman and Kate Moss. Everyone else I'd have nothing to do with. Kim K is especially gross. Don't care what Marilyn Monroe looked like because she was a drug addict and a dirty sellout. The black women you've shown look especially elegant. I'd probably put them above everyone else besides Kate Moss and Sicilian Woman, just on physical if that's what this is. Also why are you basing all attraction over generations on a few people? A few controversial generally questionable people?

Collectivism is pathetic and gross. A person who succumbs to collectivism or embraces it even, is a weak insecure drone, who does not get to define themselves as an individual. I'm sure society would love you for embracing collectivism, as it makes you another easy worker ant/worker bee to easily control through media and accept what the government tells you to believe. No thanks. I think for myself. I expect all to do the same. I don't care how much it divides society, because media and government generally want society divided anyway. I'd rather we all comes to our own conclusions, without bias, and you might find that we actually end up agreeing a lot more. I certainly have within my community.

[Floppy2112]

Fashion has changed over time, beauty standards have not changed all that much. The hip to shoulder ratio has always remained the same. Symmetrical facial features have
always remained the same. Nice complexion and soft skin has always been desired.

I commend you, if that is in fact you, for not falling into so many traps that women tend to fall into. You have real hair. That puts you head and shoulders above many women, particularly black women. And you are cute and natural looking. These are all A+'s. You should have no issue attracting a quality man.
Anecdotally, I can say that the vast majority of black women I have run across do not wear their own hair. That may just be local to me, but damn, I just don't get it. I cannot tell if they are pretty or not because they are effectively wearing a costume. What do they look like outside that costume? And if you are 300 lbs, no amount of costuming is going to fix that. That money would have been better spent on a trainer and nutritionist.

As for beauty standards you're confusing pop-culture with what men actually find attractive. We hate: fake hair, fake eyelashes, and fake super-long fingernails. We like authentic looking females. There never has been, nor ever will be a time when a 5'4" woman who weighs 300 lbs, will be found attractive outside of 'chubby chasers' who have some sort of fetish. There never has and never will be a time when a woman who looks like a defensive guard will be found attractive. Kim Kardashian? The only men that find her attractive are Kanye and the media. I think she looks weird. She looks like a cartoon woman.
I guess I see, from the pictures you posted, more similarities among them than differences. Yes, they are wearing different clothes, but outside of Twiggy and Kim Kardashian, they all have a good hip to waist ratio, symmetrical faces and good complexions. And that's as much as any guy could ask for.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Beauty standards aren't actually set by whatever is commonly shown in media.

In fact there is no standard at all.

And while you (or other women) may feel pressured to change yourselves to fit in or be desired, the media actually has zero effect on what anyone finds attractive. So there really is no point to paying attention to any of that, let alone feeling pressured by it.

Instead what people find attractive is directed by their own genetic makeup, not fads (by the way usually only women and gay men pay any attention to fads, exceptions exist but it's rare, even even with those 2 groups its not anywhere near all of them).

For example my genetics make me attracted to specific sets of feature combinations in women, and literally nothing in men.

There is no way to change what I'm attracted to, and when seeing models or celebs or porn stars or other rich people who "set unrealistic standards", the fact of the matter is, I'm still only going to find the same feature combinations attractive, and whatever the media portrays now isn't going to change that.

You are portraying attraction as a response to outside influences, but this is not the case. Instead, people search up/seek out what they are attracted to, and other people spy on that, and then customized ads display whatever is closest, or display something random if the spyware is blocked.

Well thats what happens on the internet anyway, on tv its what chennels and shows and ads get watched more, and for books, it's based on purchases.

So if a media outlet shifts a look as the most common shown, it's because either thats what the ceo/director/etc. likes, or it's because thats what they think the majority likes, or it's because they looked at data from spyware, and in fact, that was what the majority of their customers liked.

[TheSpaceGnome]

channels*

[ChrisMaster69]

Good My Take, it is crazy just how fashion, marketing all work together to push and shove women in to certain pigeon holes over the years.

these days even more so with social media and some crazy expectations.

For a girl with no real prominent features it’s a nightmares, I can imagine what a bundle of laughs it is for anyone with more prominent features.

Humans are almost programmed to give negative comments on others.

years ago I stopped really caring overly on looks etc, the majority of my previous GFs have had tattoos and piercings, which are definitely prominent features.

These days there is so much conflicting information on just how a girl should look it’s crazy. Personally how she chooses is my thought,

[Stoner710]

I think there is some good points here, I will say women tend to set the beauty standards, They do try to attract men with these beauty standard. For example the idea of the lotus foot (now known to be incredibly harmful). That a beauty standard in the Qing dynasty for 900 years, this was due to Yao Niang a women who bound her feet in the shape of a new moon emperor Li Yu found her incredibly attractive as a result the bound foot became a beauty standard in China not because men demanded that women bind there feet but because they saw this women with bound feet and saw that she attracted the highest power in the land the emperor himself so women started to copy her in order to be able to find a man just as powerful as Li Yu to this day women still have bound feet even thought it’s largely gone out of practice since the 1920s
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

[Chriscunning]

I think there is no fixed rule. Everyone to there own. I much prefer fully bodies and my top would be the 80's look. But no matter which era you look at, someone will always have that X-factor that you like and cannot put you finger on. Even if they "not your usual type".

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

[jennifer_bloom]

And even more than features. My cousin is Chinese and unattractive by both Asian and African and American and standards but she has always had an easy time getting dates because of the way she carries herself and behaves and acts when she is around people and she has only gotten plastic surgery once so guys are not dating her for her youth. She doesn’t even wash her hair every day saying it’s bad for your hair and she doesn’t wear make up unless she is going to a wedding or business Christmas dinner. Not even for work or job presentations will she put on make up.

[St37xy11]

If I had to choose the one I closely resemble with it would be the 1970 one. I have thick curly hair like the lady has in her picture. But my hair is way longer, it's down to my butt. I would say we are the same body type I'm skinny like her probably. My bmi is like 18. Though I'm not tan I think I'm considered pale. I love disco music so it would make sense that my appearance matches the style back then lol. I agree with you. I always feel self conscious for being too skinny and wished I was in the normal weight range. But at the same time I have body fat in places I don't want like my face and neck area and my stomach. Surprisingly for me who's skinny and I eat whatever I want, eventually my body puts some fat down when I somehow gain weight. It's hard fot me to gain weight.

[Andres77]

Wow... this wasn't as long or detailed as you would have liked?
I bet your English teachers LOVED you!

You're showing what the "beauty industry" has pushed on women. Both men and women fall prey to what the industries push.

For those of us who can never "touch the stars" we've learned to be satisfied with those that we can touch... and be touched by. I've had many relationships... those that aspired to be like pop icons... we didn't last long at all.
Those who were real and just wanted to be themselves and be loved for it... were some of the most fulfilling relationships I've ever had. Makeup, body type, fashion, accessories... none of that mattered when you've bared your soul and the one you're with looks at you and smiles with approval.

Self-worth...
Loving yourself enough not to settle...
Dating standards...

[CuriousJC]

Most guys would called most of these women ugly, but I don't really see any ugly in women. I focus on a woman's inner beauty not their outer regardless what she looks like. I would also be trying my best to show her that she is a woman and I would like to make her honest the right way. It works most of the time and I just wait for the perfect moment when she says that well you know.

[MelaninQueen21]

How kind of you 😊

[CuriousJC]

I would take you in a heartbeat if it was possible regardless what you look like. To me every woman I come across as beautiful regardless what she looks like.

[spookywashere]

You're beautiful, and very lucky to have such good features. I struggle with body image, and low self-esteem. It's sad because the pressure to be beautiful is REAL. What's even more sad is if you are beautiful, you're life is a lot easier because pretty privelege is a thing.

[MelaninQueen21]

Hello. Thank you for the compliment ☺ I appreciate it.
Although I understand how you feel and where you're coming from. I struggle with low self esteem and I often don't like they way my body looks. But, I have to disagree with your last statement. Yes, pretty privilege is real and if you're so called "attractive" going by beauty standards, then situations/circumstances and outcomes will be different for that person. BUT... that doesn't mean that that person's life is much easier or cliché. It can be hard for those, who have pretty privilege, to keep up with the standards of beauty. You also have to think about their self esteem. They can come off and be seen as this beautiful and confident person on the outside, but behind closed doors, do you really know what they're going through or what they're thinking about themselves? Don't be deceived by what you always see.

Although I don't know what you look like, I can honestly tell that you're a beautiful human being who has been hurt by our society. I have been hurt, as well. We just have to remember that our insecurities are someone else's desires. There are a few things that I would recommend for you to help you with your self confidence, if you're interested 😊

[litty]

One thing I'm reminded of when reading this is my girlfriend telling me not to take pictures of her or any girls where you can see under the chin.

That really goes for everybody in a way. We all have angles where we think we look better. I for one do not want others to see up my nostrils, but unless I tilt my head down when speaking, it's hard for others not to see when the majority of people I meet are under 6'2.

It's good to be aware of we present ourselves in the mirror. And while we might get self-conscious sometimes, it's just as important to display confidence through our body language. Eye contact, good posture, not hiding your hands, relaxed. Carrying yourself with pride and not caring what others think, you can't help but respect that and anyone who matters will respect it too.

[Anonymous]

I agree with this so much! Sweetheart you are beautiful rock that melanin with pride. ❤❤ I literally don't fit the standards at all lmaoo i dont have an hour glass figure but i have that violin lol all of my features look odd on me, but my step sister who is literally my twin when it comes to body except skin tone and she is mixed with Asian and white gets more love. Its sad but the truth. As a black woman, my features look odd and nappy, masculine and unnatural, but on her its exotic, cute, feminine "kawaii" (she's chinese) and we get so disgusted by it.

[Bricealan]

You did a tremendous amount of work to post this ! I admire the fact that you did that !
I like women. PERIOD ! Prominent features make them unique.

EXCELLENT POST

[MelaninQueen21]

Thank you sm! I appreciate the feedback.

[dragoblack]

First off, body fads are stupid if not dangerous depending on what it is. The 2000s anorexia look us super unhealthy, the present thicc & hourglass is unachievable for most as well as many others. The feathered hair and athletic body is achievable though. Most body fads are dangerous because people will mutilate, starve, and/or gorge themselves to meet that temporary ideal of beauty based off of one persons body type. Not only that it causes self-esteem issues for those who struggle to reach that body type which is next to impossible. People just need to be healthy, get their body to a point they feel comfortable with themselves and just enjoy life.