Why do creepy weird, really unattractive guys only approach me?

[Anonymous]

I know I am going to sound shallow for saying this, but it seems like I am somehow a magnet for unattractive or just weird guys. I've never had a boyfriend before and I'm 23. the weird, "unattractive" guys they are the ones that will compliment me or flirt with me. for example, this really short and stocky Hispanic guy that bothers me in class (I don't want to sound racist), asked me "what are you doing with your boyfriend tonight"?, probably to see if I am taken or not...

this ruins my self esteem, and I'd rather not have any guy approach me.

does that mean I'm probably ugly, too?

does any other girl have problems with attracting really unattractive guys? what can I do to change this :(

i feel really pathetic for asking such a question, but I can't help thinking about this...

Updates

+1 y

once again, I'm going to emphasize how I DON'T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS SHALLOW (OR RACIST). I'm just really stumped as to why I can't attract a decent, nice guy, who doesn't SMELL with some kind of intelligence...

-____-

[nermalinda]

I know what you mean. I think a lot of times, when there is a decently cute girl, normal guys are smart enough to treat her with some respect, which to most guys, means giving her space and not randomly approaching her until they get to know her a little or she initiates contact and shows some interest.

So these weird creepers don't know any better. They figure she is out of their league anyway, so they have nothing to lose. Maybe she has low self esteem and will give them a chance. So that's why they do it.

Just tell them you have a boyfriend, and then ignore them.

Then go and find some guys who you would find acceptable, and try to become friends with them, get to know them, and hang out with them. They will probably end up liking you and ask you out, but you can always ask them also. Once you date some decent guys, you won't worry about your self esteem anymore.

[Asker]

i'm terribly shy myself, and I can never (to save my life) approach a guy if he's cute in the least bit.

[nermalinda]

well that could be your problem. these creepy guys see your shy vibe and feel like they can be assertive towards you.

[Blue_eyed_beauty]

Well, even ugly guys need love...can't blame them for trying. If you don't like them all you have to do is say "sorry, I'm not interested" and move on.

If you want a guy who is more attractive then maybe YOU should strike up the conversation with a guy. If you're looking for a specific type of guy then you need to be the one to get out there and find him. Nothing wrong with a girl initiating conversation.

I don't know if you're ugly or not, you're anonymous. So I'm just going to assume you're not ugly if guys are approaching you (whether you like them or not, they're still males approaching you).

[Asker]

i know I'm not ugly...i don't know if I exactly fit into the criteria of being considered "pretty", though...because I know most guys don't talk to the pretty girls.

[Blue_eyed_beauty]

Of course guys talk to pretty girls. People on this site say they don't but in real life, pretty girls get approached often (unless it's obvious that she's taken). But that's just what I've noticed where I live. Maybe it's different where you live, idk. But if guys are approaching you, I'm sure they think you're pretty.

[Asker]

i live in the metropolitan area

[Asker]

let me clarify, NY metro area

[Blue_eyed_beauty]

Well I've never even been in that area so I don't know. But if you're getting approached often (by ugly guys or not) I would take that as a compliment. Just reject them as nicely as you can and move on.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Sounds like your unattractive. 23, never had a man, and only attracts weirdos and uggos? Also you may give off a super nice girl vibe, you know the type that befriends stray animals and doesn't seem threatening at all? Guys like that should be scared off by girls with status so you might want to dress a little better (assuming you dress dorky) and come across more confident (they interpret this as stuck up) to repel guys like that

[Asker]

I guess I'm ugly

[Asker]

Like today , while I was waiting at the bus stop, this hobo, really weird dude asked for the time... I don't know why I'm cursed with attracting uglies :( I want to end my life , seriously

[LovelyDisquiet]

Maybe you just take notice of it. Because seriously... those guys talk to everyone.

The problem here is not that they're talking to you, but that you feel like you need to give them your time of day.

I don't think it matters too much whether you're attractive or not. But if you act like you aren't, or like you're accepting attention from weirdos. Other weirdos will catch on to that vibe.

[DutchAtheist]

I don't know if it means you're ugly. I've been approached by ugly girls a lot, they don't even mind if you turn them down, they just 'take a shot',nothing too loose. I get along with a lot of people and talk to anyone, I guess it sometimes gives of the wrong signal to insecure, uglier girls. I wouldn't consider myself ugly, so it doesn't have to mean you are either.

[Asker]

you're not ugly. maybe we just give off a friendly vibe or something...seriously, I need to start acting more aloof or bitchy...

[Anonymous]

Probably because guys that just randomly approach girls are mostly weird to begin with (no offense bros). A lot of decent guys are less aggressive and even shy, so maybe YOU should try initiating a conversation if you're interested in a guy.

[Asker]

oh, okay thanks...-_-

[Opinion Owner]

Things don't just magically change without action.

[Asker]

why are decent looking guys more shy? is it because of their ego?

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't say decent-looking, I meant normal and less weird :P But if "weird" and "ugly" mean the same thing to you, then my answer's completely invalid.

[LovelyDisquiet]

True! I asked out all my boyfriends. :)

[bubalubski]

Omg im older but i get weird arse freaks approach me , sociopaths , total players , im shy so dont approach men. But the weirdos i get im starting to think lesbianism would be a good thing. What happened to men. some weirdi just followed me up the street saying i could be a drug dealer or a stripper as i told him i was new to town and haven't found a job yet. he's like dealing drugs here is a lot easier than you think ummm wtf. Im like ok nice speaking to u see youabd he's like no im stalking you we are going the same way. Ummmmmm hello stalker your freaking me out right now. Id take a nice ugly guy anytime to approach me n be nice. I get stalked by muslims , weirdo druggys , ex criminals , bikies. Dam i must be sending out some weird vibes to be coping this.

[ImperfectDVM]

That happens to me sometimes. I just learn to take the compliment and go on.

They're not hurting me, really, they're not.

It's not like they can do anything to you but say nice things. A compliment is a compliment. =)

I let it increase my elf-esteem.

As long as they don't touch me, I don't let it get to me.

No, no, you're not ugly.

But I have to ask, where are you when these guys approach you?

[Asker]

during class, when it's a time to learn and listen to lecture!

[ImperfectDVM]

Well, in that case, you have every right to ask them to stop.

You are trying to concentrate on your work.

You may have to tell your professor/teacher/instructor.

[kheserthorpe]

Good looking people are single less often, ugly people have to hit on more people, hence its normal to get hit on more by ugly people.

[jacquesvol]

My guess: they don't see themselves as "creepy weird, really unattractive guys" who should retire in the desert or commit suicide.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, but hey, how you doing? *twitches unibrow*

[Asker]

argh

[Anonymous]

If the ugly guys think they can get with you, then you're probably not the most attractive girl in the world. Sorry to say it, but yeah, it's true.

[Crimson811]

Or maybe they just overestimate themselves. Because I get told I’m beautiful all the time and have had a couple ask me out. They were very unhygienic too. I know that it isn’t because I am. because I bathe on a daily basis and brush my teeth.

[Anonymous]

Other than being unattractive to you, what made them weird and creepy?

[Asker]

being persistent- for example, this dude in class keeps talking to me regardless of the fact that I have given him OBVIOUS signals to eff off. I yawn a lot and I keep my replies short- this dumb dude keeps talking to me and he SMELLS -______________-.

also, I know I'm going to get a lot of sh*t for this, but they are REALLY unattractive- and no I'm not talking about being average looking (that I can deal with), I'm talking about being REALLY short and just unhygenic guys that keep talking

[Asker]

to you or alluding to the fact that they want a phone number from you. FML.

[orangasing]

you don't know how the work for romance. There are some events the girl really don't see the guy attractive but because persistence from the guy she fall in love with the guys.so don't understimate unattractive guy, if he is very nice and you will get a crush with him.i think in romance not just only the attractive outside but also inside you see in men

[Anonymous]

glad I'm not alone, I'm a year older than you, 24 and have never had a girlfriend

[the90swerethebest]

You could be single because you sound like a bitch

[Asker]

or maybe because I don't really want any guys approaching me, moreso if he's a weird/smelly/dumb guy. I just want to focus on my studies!

[the90swerethebest]

Like I said, you could be single because you're a bitch.

[Asker]

nah man

[Asker]

am I really asking for a lot?!?! do I have to look like megan fox to get a decent looking and smart man?! am I a bitch for saying that I don't like smelly/idiotic/creepy men?

[the90swerethebest]

If I'm average and I turned down a girl who looks like Megan Fox (who I don't actually find attractive, for more ways than one) and I actually did turn down a girl who looks like Megan, no joke..then you should probably hede my advice. Lighten up!

[Anonymous]

Ugly dudes approach anything