Why do guys approach my “unattractive” friend , but not me?

[Anonymous]

I’m a female college freshman and I’ve been called “pretty, cute, beautiful, etc...” by more than just my family. I personally believe that I’m the most attractive in my current friend group. I was walking alone when these two guys asked me to sit down with them, we got to talking. I invited my (in my opinion ) “unattractive “ friend over. And I love her to death but I’m just observing something. The cute guy was really interested in her. And we’re both interesting people. I’m not boring. I’ve been told I look mean and unapproachable. But I’m super sweet. So why didn’t he ask for my number? Why hers?

[SammyGurl]

It's not you look mean and unapproachable, it's because pretty girls intimidate some guys, maybe they think they're not good enough. I've been told those same things about my looks, I've also been told that the guy didn't think I'd be interested in them because they weren't good looking enough! Then my best friend is a guy, everyone always thought since we were so close we had something going on! (We do now, we've been married for three years!)
I've also noticed that a lot of girls like your friend seem To have something about their personality that puts guys at ease. While the pretty girl is sitting there all worried about why the guy isn't interested in her!!
You just have to get comfortable talking to guys, guy friends and guys like you just met. Make them feel comfortable around you and you're going to feel at ease being around them. (Watch what your friend is doing, see how she puts guys at ease then try to develope that kind of confidence for yourself.). Most of all be comfortable in your own skin!

[Asker]

Thanks so much for the advice, you’re right

[SammyGurl]

Thank You!!

[elaenor]

super sweet by calling someone you love to death is "unattractive". Everyone's taste is different. Maybe he thinks that you are the one who is unattractive did you consider that? I dont think you do because you are super sweet wright I bet someone is trolling.

[GingerGuy]

I was thinking something and then you confirmed it and said it. You look "unapproachable" (ie, mean). You're friend probably smiles more and maybe is more outgoing/friendly. Like, you're friendly to, but at first, maybe you don't let it show. Maybe you're shy, quiet? Don't smile? This make it look like you're maybe upset or not very friendly so guys won't approach. Think of it in the reverse, if you were going to approach a guy, would you approach one that was smiling at you and happy, laughing, or the quiet guy, not smiling etc. So it's your personalities I'm guessing. Yes you probably have a great personality, but because it's not obvious (ie they have to talk to you to see it), guys just jump to conclusions and go for your friend instead, that's maybe a little more outgoing? This is just my guess based on what you've said.

[GingerGuy]

I'm not suggesting you try to be someone you're not, but when it comes to approaching, we are very much looking at your body language and trying to gauge 2 things from it,

1) does she want to be approached? (some girls don't and will get upset)

2) is she interested in me at all (will she possibly say yes)? This is where the smile comes in, it tells us you are friendly and don't mind being approached, maybe even want us to approach?

[Asker]

This was extremely helpful, thank you so much

[MrOracle]

"I’ve been told I look mean and unapproachable."

Umm... is it not obvious what the problem is?

Your less attractive friend probably has a smile on her face and a fun, positive attitude that comes through in her actions and body language. Most men, believe it or not, will prefer the fun, positive girl who is decent looking over the hotter girl who seems to have a negative personality or is uninterested.

You might BE super sweet, but if you have "resting bitch face", then you're going to need to work on keeping a smile on your face and a positive, fun attitude when you're out with groups of people. If you can do that, it will make a HUGE difference!

[witherwing]

The perception of attractiveness is subjective. Just because you personally think you are more attractive than your friends, doesn't mean everyone else thinks so too. They might think the complete opposite. And when you add unapproachable to that, well... That seems like a bad combination.

[rapfan107]

I envy your wisdom 🤐👏

[4get2remember]

Maybe she has a personality that clicked more with him. It's not all about looks. And also, guys have different tastes. I enjoy beautiful women but I am more attracted to women that others, for some reason, can't see the same level of beauty.

[Just_A_Guy2018]

because you look mean and unapproachable... you even said it yourself.
You would get more if you looked less mean and more approachable.

[Asker]

But they got to know me

[Just_A_Guy2018]

she looks nicer and more approachable, its as simple as that.

[boggboss]

Two points first from what u say u look mean and unapproachable.
Second for many beauty is subjective in that guys eyes your friend may have looked better

[Anonymous]

Because the thing is unattractive or even at least "average" looking girls are more approachable. Conventionally attractive women often have rbf and will judge you for being under her in the looks department.

[teamvic]

Does the friend have a big ass cause if so thats why

[dantetheexplorer]

" I’ve been told I look mean and unapproachable".
You answered your own question.

[TheNephilim]

Maybe you look unapproachable to them, they may think they can't get you or something like that. Or it could because of the reason that some guys find your friend attractive and not you.

[Harsh_Ch]

You need to be approachable as well, not just attractive...
I wouldn't approach even the hottest girl in the world if she behaves like a bitch to me

[Pink2000]

Cause she must have the personality or even looks that you don’t have.

[JustCallMeLeon]

You answered your own question. You look unapproachable. Guys dont want rejection.

[larry69]

Guy is afraid you might be out of his league or taken.

[Anonymous]

If you're hot then you're a stuck up whore and you know it. These guys know it and we all know it. It's just the way it is nowadays. A bunch of self-absorbed, self loving, narcissistic cunts.

[gowtham12]

Because they think you can't fall over them so they tried your friend

[Makeuphoarder]

They're less intimidating & seem more approachable

[Makeuphoarder]

Haha I be been told that i look inspires me too but I'm glad cause I don't want to attract any creeps

[Secretgardenblood]

What do you think @Iron_Man

[Iron_Man]

Howdy neighbor

[Secretgardenblood]

@Iron_Man hii

[Iron_Man]

👄

...

[LimitedBenefits]

i can bet 500$ she's better looking than you

[danielmeegan]

They may be insecure about there manhood