Silent, semester long crushes are excellent. Take it from me, as someone who graduated college with an associate's degree last December, doesn't plan on returning to school anytime soon, and is an expert in the subject of unrequited loves. I've been chasing after boys my whole life, from kindergarten to that last year of higher education, and I wish I still had the privilege of daydreaming about the cute guy you never talked to, but you hoped you would be forced to work with on a group project one day. I miss talking louder than was ever necessary just to get said cute guy's attention. I miss replaying that one conversation over in my head, the one where he asked me if he could borrow a pencil and I said yes, and then we moved on with our lives, except I didn't really ever because I could've sworn there were some sparks flying between us. People think unrequited love is such a bad thing, and it doesn't have to be.
Now, I admit, unrequited love is dangerous. It causes us to do really stupid things, in hopes that if we do, the person in question will suddenly return the feelings. But it can also help us be a better person. I still remember as a sophmore in high school, joining the cross country team because the guy I liked asked me to. They needed another girl to compete, he told me. It turns out that was really his only motive, although at the time I imagined it was an excuse to talk to me and hang out after school hours (I've always been pretty self-important, so natrually this was my first assumption). My crush faded, but my love for the sport didn't. Running became a great outlet for me, a good way to blow off steam after a busy day and get some excercise. And, not to brag or anything, but I turned out to be pretty good. That's just a small example, but it's crazy to me I have my tenth grade crush to thank for that I now do all the time (and honestly would've never started under any circumstance that didn't involve the possibility of a homecoming date).
So, as painful as rejection and unreturned feelings can be, they are an essential part of growing up. You can't avoid it, so why not just indulge a little? Don't fight your feelings. And the next time the opportunity for a relationship comes around, use your interest in them to better yourself. Even if nothing ever happens it can still mean something to you. I used to convince myself that plenty of people date for fun or out of convenience, which resulted in a lot of meaningless boyfriends. We went to a few parties together, a few pleasant-but-not- spectacular dates, and called it quits after 4-6 months. I don't have any real feelings for these people, and the relationships meant little to me. Not to be cruel or dishonor their memory, I'm just being honest. Wheras, the Cross Country Guy obviously meant something, or I would've forgotten the story a long time ago. So if you're in the middle of a crush right now, and you don't feel like it's going anywhere, that's not true. You might not be meeting the love of your life, but you are learning lessons to prepare yourself for when you do.
~L
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