It is true. You've already checked the signs; he sends you random funny texts, he always seems happy when you're around, he remembers all of those little things, and he demonstrates that chivalry is not dead. He likes you. Now I've answered numerous questions women post unsure of why some guys demonstrate all of these signs, but never get any further than that. The reason is many men lack confidence. It's too simple of an answer. Many of us social amateurs simply can't break past the barrier of bringing a female friend into our reserved, respectful, and typically predictable lives.
Now, the solution to this issue is easy: get some confidence. "Women like men with confidence". How many times have you heard that one? For guys like me though, that's like being afraid of heights, going on a very high bridge with a bungee cord, and being told, "hey, just be brave and jump". I'd bungee jump on a stormy day before asking the cute jumper next to me if she wants to get some coffee. Now, I've worked on my womanizing skills to the point where I can ask women out; however, many great guys are left hanging (pun intended :P) and often go unnoticed. Many funny, attractive, and overall good guys are out there, they just lack the ability to pickup women.
I am not here to build a sympathy base for unsocialites. However, from the questions I've read, many women like guys with some of the characteristics I mentioned, and don't know what to do about it. Here is a start: you need to take the initiative. Ask yourself whether or not you like this guy and take into consideration that if you do, is his lack of confidence the key obstacle in the way of your relationship? Is confidence really the deciding factor that you want? After all, many guys that are skilled with picking up women can be complete jerks because they can be (many are good too, don't take that the wrong way). Just, many women miss out on some good guys because initially they fail to recognize their dating potential.
Of course some underdogs do come through and ask and it's one of those moments that you have the little "huzzah" in your gut. But most of the time, it doesn't work this way and shy guys get trapped in the friend zone. This friend zone can be a sketchy business as well. Nice guys treat their "female friend" great, listen, sympathize, innocently flirt, are fun etc. Their intention is hoping eventually something will miraculously cause them to end up in a relationship with you. However, most guys will not wait in this position for long. I've read numerous stories of women asking why a particular male friend is slowly becoming more distant (sometimes suddenly ignoring them overnight). This is probably why: they have given up the fight for a potential relationship with you. Even shy guys actively pursue women, they just know when it is time to give up and find a new candidate. Some may stay friends of course, but "When Harry Met Sally" has a lot of truth in my experience. If you have a close single, straight, guy friend, there is a very high probability he likes you more than a friend.
What can you do with this information? First of all recognize that if you like a guy that seems to be giving you the signs and you really like them in return, be the one who takes the initiative. Guys are supposed to be confident, but women should be too! Don't just sit there..."hmm, I think he likes me. I'm surprised he hasn't asked me out. I'll just look at him and he should get the hint. Until he asks I guess, we'll just be friends..." It won't work! If you want to increase your chances of the guy asking, initiate more physical contact like brushing up against his arm while flirting. If that doesn't work, ask directly.
Now if any guys that are in this boat happen to be reading this article, you are not off the hook. In fact, if you don't become more confident, you will likely end up "settling" and that often doesn't work. While I hope some women will read this and potentially recognize the truth about some of the guys in their life, this reality is life and you need to change your behavior. I did after trial and error, and I hope some people benefit from my observations.
There are women who are in the opposite situation and want guys to like them but are too nervous to ask them out as well. I lack that second "x" chromosome so I do not want to give advice on a matter that I have not personally experienced. However, I'm always happy to provide opinions/advice if you send a message.
Now, the solution to this issue is easy: get some confidence. "Women like men with confidence". How many times have you heard that one? For guys like me though, that's like being afraid of heights, going on a very high bridge with a bungee cord, and being told, "hey, just be brave and jump". I'd bungee jump on a stormy day before asking the cute jumper next to me if she wants to get some coffee. Now, I've worked on my womanizing skills to the point where I can ask women out; however, many great guys are left hanging (pun intended :P) and often go unnoticed. Many funny, attractive, and overall good guys are out there, they just lack the ability to pickup women.
I am not here to build a sympathy base for unsocialites. However, from the questions I've read, many women like guys with some of the characteristics I mentioned, and don't know what to do about it. Here is a start: you need to take the initiative. Ask yourself whether or not you like this guy and take into consideration that if you do, is his lack of confidence the key obstacle in the way of your relationship? Is confidence really the deciding factor that you want? After all, many guys that are skilled with picking up women can be complete jerks because they can be (many are good too, don't take that the wrong way). Just, many women miss out on some good guys because initially they fail to recognize their dating potential.
Of course some underdogs do come through and ask and it's one of those moments that you have the little "huzzah" in your gut. But most of the time, it doesn't work this way and shy guys get trapped in the friend zone. This friend zone can be a sketchy business as well. Nice guys treat their "female friend" great, listen, sympathize, innocently flirt, are fun etc. Their intention is hoping eventually something will miraculously cause them to end up in a relationship with you. However, most guys will not wait in this position for long. I've read numerous stories of women asking why a particular male friend is slowly becoming more distant (sometimes suddenly ignoring them overnight). This is probably why: they have given up the fight for a potential relationship with you. Even shy guys actively pursue women, they just know when it is time to give up and find a new candidate. Some may stay friends of course, but "When Harry Met Sally" has a lot of truth in my experience. If you have a close single, straight, guy friend, there is a very high probability he likes you more than a friend.
What can you do with this information? First of all recognize that if you like a guy that seems to be giving you the signs and you really like them in return, be the one who takes the initiative. Guys are supposed to be confident, but women should be too! Don't just sit there..."hmm, I think he likes me. I'm surprised he hasn't asked me out. I'll just look at him and he should get the hint. Until he asks I guess, we'll just be friends..." It won't work! If you want to increase your chances of the guy asking, initiate more physical contact like brushing up against his arm while flirting. If that doesn't work, ask directly.
Now if any guys that are in this boat happen to be reading this article, you are not off the hook. In fact, if you don't become more confident, you will likely end up "settling" and that often doesn't work. While I hope some women will read this and potentially recognize the truth about some of the guys in their life, this reality is life and you need to change your behavior. I did after trial and error, and I hope some people benefit from my observations.
There are women who are in the opposite situation and want guys to like them but are too nervous to ask them out as well. I lack that second "x" chromosome so I do not want to give advice on a matter that I have not personally experienced. However, I'm always happy to provide opinions/advice if you send a message.
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