Yes, we always see the confident guys in a blazer and perfect teeth swoop in and get the gar with his cheesy charm. Or you see the oddly cocky fat guy who just has a ball wherever he goes and girls love him for it. But what about the other guy? The guy who's not particularly confident or extreme in one way or another. He's just a normal guy. He has nothing about him to generate a weirdly unique rockstar level of success of having sex with so many girls you'd swear he has groupies. Doe he just accept his fate? Is he even really losing The Game?
The Vanilla Approach's brilliance relies on it being ordinary and not exceptional in any sort of way which would make the guy look like he "does this all the time" and is doing something "crazy and wild." He takes the power of that one in a million chance encounter in the barnes and noble and he multilplies it throughout every week of his life. He has no famed stories of legend, but his numbers are some of the best and he does it all by simply trying as hard as he can not to be anything better than a normal guy she happened to meet because you happened to be taking the same bus to work at the same time that one day.
Forget everything you learned about impressing women with confident lines delivered with swagger. The more boring the better for her. You are the normal guy with no outstanding quirks or even accomplishments. The latter will be even more difficult to let go of but doing so may raise the alarm she has in her head that you are planning to "use" her in some way. You are not trying to be anything more than vanilla funny, you are not trying to be anything more than vanilla smart. But you're saying...but girls like funny! they like smart! they like it! For anything trait you think all girls like i can give you countless examples of guys getting blown out because he couldn't stop making weird jokes or he was a smartass, or he was too full of himself. Even when a blowout, you are risking not being the type too early out of the gate. For instance, he was apparently amazing at baseball and got a full scholarship to a really great school but i'm not into athletes. You'll notice that girls are very ready to shoot out a guy for not being the type they like usually but then they'll be in the best relationships of their lives and be like i don't usually go for guys like him! I don't know what happened! Anyway, point is be boring. That doesn't mean sit there and say nothing but realize that the normal guy with no weird things about him who's just a guy is so often what they're looking for just like you're probably just looking for a cute girl not a supermodel or some very unique specimen of femininity.
Ok, so now that the mindset of vanilla is out of the way, what do you do? Exactly what you consider death to getting the girl...ASKING QUESTIONS
No, not interview style quesitons. They aren't even about her. They are simply neutral questions that you'd presumably ask anyone she just happens to have been there. Random stuff like what book she's reading, what kind of dog she's walking, does this bus go to such and such place. The point is to come in super anti-aggresive as to not think you're up to no good. I'd wager the radar and shield that goes up once its been set off accounts for a majority of rejections so you simply poking not going in full force.
Now you're thinking ok but she answers my questions and i said thank you...the heck? See, you're still undervalueying the power of a very vanilla guy. Say she's reading Ulysses and you've read it then you can say oh i thought it was! i love that book to death because blah blah and she's like don't spoil it!!! with a smile on her face and then you're in. Or you say wow thats long! Is it worth it so far and she's like yeah it is blah blah or no i dont think so blah blah and then you simply say some random thing about another book you're reading or have read and then you're in talking and now you can just have a conversation.
Sounds foolproof? Not quite. Sometimes she really will give you the one word answer given annoyed and without eye contact. It's best not to push since many girls will look at you and be excited at the thought of a normal conversation since they tend to be far more social than we are. Even though it won't be that dramatic, it will sting from time to time. Yet, like with all things success painfully reached is still better than massive feelings of mediocrity.
Still use things like her looking at you and smiling as if beckoning your attention as signs to try asking her about something. I could be wrong but my experience has told me that girls seldom both stare and smile for no reason at all.
One hang up you might get as the vanilla guy is that people will most certainly be listening if you're on a train or in a coffee shop. You might think what if it goes bad and i look like a guy with no game or if I look like a playboy. Guys who fear this kind of exposure in my opinion usually suffer from one of two things. Either a domineering father who made them feel like they would be a loser if they didn't do well with girls or a domineering mother who made them feel like absolute jerks for acting like men and being too cocky. Either way, the way to deal with it is assume they think whatever you fear they think. In this way, you have nothing to lose since you've already lost whatever image you want other people to have of you.
The reality is that most guys wish they were you for just being able to start a conversation with a random girl and most girls wish a normal guy would talk to them without overtly hitting on them and are probably jealous of her.
Eventually you’ll get so good at it that you’ll thrive on the excitement of an audience showing how natural and confidence and smooth you appear
Counter intuitive—remember when you ask something you should actually look confused/interested in the answer…if you have some eager confident smile on it will come off like you’re just interested in her and using whatever as an excuse. this is where it actually pays to be shy because your shyness will hide that you are already interested in her and are legit interested in the question. if the girl is really used to getting hit on there may be nothing that you can do to not make her think which way is ballroom c actually means can i **** you later? in a bar or club its fine to smile because they know that you’re looking to hookup and its only a matter of your “game” being tight but in most situations where you are meeting the girls you’ll actually date you won’t want to be so forward…
ask about things you want to actually know are good ways both to justify your scared mind to ask it as well as make it less obvious you’re just asking because she’s cute. for instance i actually do love learning what books people are reading because i can basically look at a paragraph and know what it says without reading word for word every sentence so i’m always getting through books too fast. sometimes you won’t have that going for you but never ask something so stupid as what kind of phone is that when you have the same phone in your hand (unless you’re going to the comedy route)
don’t face her, don’t lean over her, don’t sit or stand in anyway that suggests you’re “moving in for the kill” This is antithetical to the vanilla approach.
beware cockblocks are more deadly than ever before. you can be chatting and laughing about friends one minute and then her girl comes back after taking 20 minutes to get chai lattes and will give the girl who the hell is this guy look and she’ll freeze up and things will get really awkward. In such cases i usually pull shoot but if i’m feeling feisty ill just look back and forth at them faux oblivious until the cockblocker does something like give me her back and then i’ll go back to whatever i was doing before...
Now go forth, boys, and be the normal, boring every man who's a little confused and only needs to talk to her answer a question but somehow always finds himself in conversations wtih random strangers who all happen to be really cute females...
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