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Why Nice Guys Struggle To Get Women (Page 2)
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U don't need to be a bad boy to have those a little disheartened at times yeah, but most certainly it helps, I have mates that are respectable bad boys, and I seen how girls go for that type, yeah it gets a little disheartened at times, I'm just your normal Mr Nice Guy type, guess that's way I make friends very easy in the male world, in the female world that's completely different, Girls don't even know I exist, it bother me heaps in my younger adulthood life, nowadays I don't give a fuck, yea I'm still a virgin, might die a virgin, who cares, what I'm trying to get at is, as Mr Nice Guy type, I'm a very independent 50/50 brave type who is becoming more and more confident in myself and by the end of this years, I will have the strength and courage to protect her if she was to walk beside me
"They like to be taken care of" basically means they want a guy with money. They're gold diggers. The idea of hypergamy seems to be pretty true for most girls. I'll definitely keep in mind to appear poor to weed out typical golddiggers. That's a pretty pathetic biological nature you all have. It really quite disgusts me. To think, I would actually date a girl with no money. Maybe I should reevaluate that they may be using me.
I dont think that guys understand that some girls are looking for their soulmates. And yes there are soul mates out there. The one person you feel an extreme connection with and I believe there's that one person out there for me and honestly I dont care if that means you're a guy, girl, pans or trans. It's about personality for me. I dont understand why there has to be this "nice guys finish last" debate. If you're what I want you're what I want, simple as that.
Anybody that is looking for a trans need to be melted like the wicked witch
I heard she's looking for banks / body guards and nothing about personality.
American women have ENORMOUS problems with themselves! The women themselves are toxic, hateful, spoiled with terrible attitudes, the vast majority of American women younger than 40 are in gangs, hence they are covered in tattoos and lust after violence. And they know it's a capital felony under Federal law for a man to be friends with dating couples. American women themselves are toxic and violent in their hearts, and that's why they go for guys that are toxic and violent.
I agree with this part "toxic, hateful, spoiled with terrible attitudes" most of them are JUST like that even on a friendship level
Entitlement. I did *insert common courtesy* so therefore I deserve *insert assumed privilege*.
This "nice guys" and "fuckboys" argument is getting tired because they're usually one in the same type of guy and share traits that don't actually value women. The only difference is that fuckboys end up actually getting some. Is being a genuine person like not a real thing anymore?
It's "participation trophy" mentality.
nice guy = ugly or unattractive guy trying to compensate his non-attractive looks with being nice, not realizing that his niceness is just pushing him deeper into shit. Being nice is not masculine, therefore is not attractive personality. Period. Being nice only "works" when girl is already attracted to a guy's looks.
Furthermore, women fucking hate nice guys who look unattractive, as they interpret every their action as a fakeness just to get into her pants. Of course, if attractive guy would do the same, he would be seen as "confident" dude.
Being low inhibition bad boy is a rule of thumb that works, if you don't look attractive. Women will hate you, which is great, as hating is caring. Most importantly, women will fuck you.
EDIT: if you are a baby-faced dude, or a dude with round face, lose that fat ASAP. It's sexual death sentence. No woman will ever fuck that. Get in gym and lose that shit.
Also, take you can try roiding up as testosterone promotes fat loss and induces aggressive and low inhibition behavior. This is what women are attracted to and not to some pussy faces with pussy personality. When I hear nice guy, I see a girl with a dick.
Your EDIT comments are facts. I've been on medically prescribed testosterone injections for 18 months, and lift at the gym 5 days a week. I lost 40 pounds, face thinned out and really bulked up. I can't believe the difference and a really cannot explain how differently I'm treated by women. I get more smiles from them in public, and usually get hit on a couple times a week. Jesus, I was at a party a couple of weeks ago some girl was talking to me 1 inch from my face and rubbing her tits on me. With her fucking husband in the same room. Crazy!
@Wally48 : I've witnessed guys going from being hated, bullied, disrespected or simply being treated like shit by women to getting laid almost every time when they went out. What made the difference was minor loss of body fat that exposed attractive underlying bone structure, in addition to improvement hormonal profile and more masculine behavior that testosterone impacted. The most shocking is the discovery how insanely different is treatment from women and how most of women behave more or less the same. Once one is attractive enough, one can fuck women left and right, regardless of their marital status, timing, age and other circumstances. Truly an eye-opening experience which alters one's image about the opposite sex and turns dating&relationships into a joke.
I don't really get it...
I am nice guy,
I go to the gym and have serious strength.
Work full time and my bills are paid, I'm a millwright as well so I can fix cars, oil changes, etc.
If I have a problem I don't complain, I deal with it...
I think girls like these bad boys because they tend to have more emotional issues and they complain, and they can't even wipe their ass. The girl feels bad, her motherly instincts kick in and they need to take care of him.
Which is fine at first, but I find they end up wasting years on them when then when they are 26 the break up.
Girl is lost and confused now, because her biological clock is ticking and they end up either not having marrige and a kid and wind up depressed. Or just marry whoever just for the sake of having kids.
That still doesn't explain why girls go back after being mistreated a real man would not treat them like that in the first place I have a friend who is a real piece of trash a drunk and I saved his girl from him years ago he wanted to hit her he sobered up I left then she told me the next day he hit her and even after all of that she would break up with him but always go back for some reason girls like being treated horribly the nice guy can't compete because they would never act that way.
The 1 and only way you can get friends zoned is trying to be friends with girls you want to fuck.
If you're trying to fuck, she is not your friend. Period.
And if you want a friend, stop treating her like a girlfriend. It's so damn simple.
How do guys keep fucking this up?
Because "nice guys" often aren't nice guys when they don't get what they want. Just because I call myself a plane, doesn't mean I am a plane.
No. Nice guys don't struggle getting girls. Pussys do struggle getting girls and I am guilty of that charge.
Just because the dude looks intimidating doesn't mean he is all that bad and it shows a sign of masculinity as well.
I think you are too young. A lot of people take advantage of nice people and it gets them irate over a while. It's not that they "arent really nice" it's that they aren't so nice they are willing to sacrifice everything for nothing in return.
Men who sacrifice everything for a conceited woman are pathetic if they haven't realized how cruel she is.
@Jaysonava There's a whole reddit about it. r/niceguys and r/nicegirls
They are not really as nice as they think. It usually come off as weird not nice. It can come off as a mask until you know them better.
It's the lack of confidence or other issues that is the problem.
If he is his 30's and hasn't done much in his life or career wise it's a turn off. We need to be in the same stage of life on many levels.
Being nice is very minor plus as after a while the real personality will be clear and hopefully he stays nice.
I have seem this too. What it boils down to is that women son appreciate men for who they are, they only care about what they are capable of doing.
Don’t* not ‘son.’ Autocorrect typo.
What he is capable of doing is a very admirable thing.
You want your women to think wow I really like how he is doing this or that.
I don't need him to spend money on me but don't want him to drag me down as well in money or life in general.
This is so interesting. I don’t think this way about women. I don’t think ‘wow she can do this or that’. I usually think, ‘wow she is a good person’ or wow ‘she is a jerk.’
My attraction depends on who she is not what she does. If women go the opposite way, and care not about who a guys is cut only what he does that would be very eye opening.
Admittedly I find female musicians attractive if they are playing the genres I like because that’s a rare thing. But other than that, I don’t really way in skill sets into my attraction to or against them. At least I don’t think I do.
Part of the attraction is having unique things that makes the partner better than the rest in in one's eyes. I admire people who take their work seriously or dedicate to something.
It's not everything but one important thing
It makes sense. For instance, a guy could be very dedicated to one specific task and get really good at it, but he may also treat people poorly at work.
This guy would be seen as more or less a douchebag by his coworkers. This would be someone you’d likely fall for given your criteria.
Now imagine one of his coworkers. He’s not very good at any particular skill, but he’s honestly very kind and considerate. He looks out for his friends and anyone who might be a target of bullying, like say from the first guy described. By your criteria this second guy is likely unattractive.
It seems to me that the nice vs dick comparison stands in this example. And, it seems the more dick-ish guy is chosen. This is all the whole nice guy thing has always been about. The kinder person only becomes bitter after repeatedly witnessing hypothetical jerkoff coworker have success sexually.
Usually you know someone from one side only as from work or real life. You don't really know if he is an asshole at work if you met him outside work or jerk to people around him if you know him from work until some time of knowing each other.
You can see what he is accomplishing.
Thays why you see a guy and say who the hell would date him to find out he has a very decent girl who might be head over heels for him.
Each for their taste
I see. I guess that’s possible. However, personally I think low of it.
Keep in mind that high career success is strongly positively correlated with inconsiderateness.
If you're over 30 and still haven't found a man, I think the problem is more with you and not with guys.
Well I'm already married to one of the good guys. He never said that he is a nice guy yet he is considerate, loving and honest.
He looks tough from outside but he is soft hearted.
Self evaluation usually is biased. People over rate themselves a lot. Beside being nice can be faked while other qualities are either there or they aren't.
Yeah I’ve learned a lot since writing these comments and have since changed myself a little. I went ballistic on this site and got tons of feedback very fast, so I kept asking questions and provoking discussions.
I now realize that my issue was principally a fear of my own sexuality and of intimacy due to being raised catholic.
‘Niceness’ was just a coping mechanism because I’m uncomfortable with romantic intimacy. And that’s all. Though I still like to think that beyond that I’m still a decent person.
I appreciate all the girls that gave me their opinions here. It’s been very helpful.
To me and some girls being religous is actually an attractive thing so it's not like you need to change it but you need to know when it is masking your personality.
I'm glad you understand yourself better after these discussions. Only then you can focus on what you want abd how to get their.
Yes. Actually I have suddenly started to feel pain from a prior relationship that I self sabotaged.
I was a classic fuckboy who took advantage of a freshman college girl and we hooked up twice and actually dated a little. I reached out to her again after ghosting the poor girl and after sending her a text asking how she was she unexpectedly called me.
I now feel terrible and my memories haunt me. I don’t think hookups are for me afterall. I mean, I feel really bad about it and to be perfectly honest I’d rather be rejected countless times and be celibate than do something that reckless again.
I haven’t cried in years but today I cried after our phone call. I can’t believe I went so long in denial of my emotions, hiding behind a persona that wanted casual sex all the time. In reality I never processed these events fully.
I am much more fragile than I thought.
You nailed it in the second paragraph. That really is the main reason. Nice guys tend not to be masculine, assertive, dominant, courageous.
Agree, but what about the agender people?
@Robertcw The who? XD
@MisterAnon69 You dumbfuck. The people who reject masculinity and have a penis.
@Robertcw ooh, touched a nerve there. How about this, I’m gonna be honest- those people are mentally ill and I hope they find treatment.
@MisterAnon69 I blame women for prefering human trash like yourself. Gender is a social construct not innately tied to biological sex. Women this man is a legitimate asshole. How have we come to a place where these types of men are sexy? It's not logical.
It's about experience in my opinion. You have to get know soul of women and act by considering the situation.
Sometimes they need friendly behavior, sometimes compassionate things, sometimes wild things.
If you expose a behavior which is different then she was needing at that moment, simply, you couldn't satisfy her need at that moment. And repetetive wrong behaviors push you to the friend zone.
Mechanics are simple, hard things is to understand her feelings and needs at that moment 🤞
Many good points, and it's true.
Women are more complicated/advanced than men when choosing a partner. Men don't have to like women process of choice any more than women have to like men's process of choice, but the fact is, it varies between the sexes.
Besides, women may be picky, but if too picky they will be miserable and alone, so in tge end it's will balanced out.
Women of quality have the ability to pick and choose, and what is wrong about that!!!
"However the reality is women don't like assholes, but they prefer them over nice guys for their manly qualities."
Wow, so you don't even like assholes but somehow they're still better and preferred over guys who are genuinely nice? Do you even hear yourself.
She's saying we don't like assholes for their attitude, but we like them for their qualities.
@savvy1225 And she's also saying that assholes with their "qualities" are overall better than guys who are nice gentlemen because being nice makes you less "manly".
aa I agree this take is bogus. Just cause an asshole is an asshole doesn't mean they're independent confident etc.
@AngryNoctis Exactly, many aren't. And even though some are, they tend not to use it constructively or beneficently, so I don't know why girls still see it as a positive trait.
You got a point bro. Assholes are assholes. No arguments here.
I'mt good and I'm not a bad guy either. Yet now I have a girl. I don't know why. Maybe just wait and see how it comes to you and stop being picky or expecting girls will start to chase you haha
@Mikey_Ramone I appreciate the advice bro, but this isn't really about me or my dating life specifically, I just get annoyed when girls say stupid crap like "Assholes are better than guys who are nice".
You guys don't understand because you're not women.
Men have different opinions, and so do women. Let that sink in. Don't compare.
We all have different mindset even we're in the same sex.
@Mikey_Ramone agreed
I always say on GAG, don't listen to what a women says, watch what she does.
Her actions reveal what she really desires, often her words are just rationalization of the behavior.
I so agree with being to nice and feminine like. I used to be that guy when young. Girls used me for money, food, a place to stay you name. Then I got some balls and grew a nice dick to go with them. I kept some of the nice guy stuff and thrown in some stuff I picked up from my biker friends. And low and behold no more friend zone. I was in the getting laid zone. So yeah you have to learn to throw in the some asshole in with the nice guy.
Many men misunderstand what women are meaning when stating they want a, "nice guy", in the same way many women misunderstand what men mean when they state they want a, "strong women". Cliché buzz phrases that are cemented into the lexicon. That's all either are.
Beer me...
And another reason is that many guys who call themselves a nice guy, aren’t actually that nice. They are opportunistic. They act nice in order to get what they want. And when they don’t get it, they get either (I have had all these reactions) suicidal, depressed, desperate, aggressive, or borderline crazy
well I don't think im that nice and im naturally crazy, deppressed, and mad
They get upset after being treated like shit as a genuinely caring person. Yes. They don’t ever go back to the way they were.
It’s like witnessing a murder. You’re never the same after that.
I don't know where some girls find all these secretly crazy nice guys. Most nice guys I've ever met have been legit nice, even if they did want me on some level and were afraid to vocalize it.
The problem is not being a "nice guy", the problem is where it's coming from.
Whenever you are nice to someone it has to come from a place where you just do it because it comes from your heart... AKA freedom of outcome, no expectation.
Most nice guys do it in order to get laid and here is where the problem begins.
Most nice guys are nice to girls but pricks when it comes to other guys.