Why Nice Guys Struggle To Get Women

I have seen it everywhere and you probably did too. Nice guys complaining how they end up in friendzone and the girl chases an asshole. Nice guys complaining how they treat girls nicely and they all want assholes who treat them like shit.


However the reality is women don't like assholes, but they prefer them over nice guys for their manly qualities. Women want in men with qualities that usually are usually not very developed in most women: courage, confidence, strength and many more. Usually the bad guy is the one that looks confident, independent, brave, not the nice guy looks like he can't take care of her and protect her. The truth is you don't have to be a dick to get women, you just need to be a real man.


Let's take for example the movie Gladiator. Maximus was the manly man, the alpha dude, but not the asshole. He was the best, yet he loved and protected his family. He treated people with respect and in return he was respected. The asshole was the emperor and in the end, everyone respected and liked Maximus, not the emperor.

Why Nice Guys Struggle To Get Women

Also, a girl may put you into the friendzone for many reasons and being too nice isn't one of them:

1. She might not think you are good looking enough.

That doesn't mean you are ugly, but maybe you aren't the type she finds attractive. Telling you that isn't necessarily helpful. You aren't always fat or with bad hygiene, you might just be a normal guy that can't do much to improve his looks. Telling you that might do more damage than good in some cases.

2. You don't have what she wants in a man.

Sure, you might get along as friends, but women need more than that. That is why I said they like the assholes for their manly qualities. You must show them that you are independent, that they can rely on you and that you can take care of them and protect them. Even if they can sustain themselves and nowadays life isn't as dangerous as it used to be in the past, it is a subconscious desire for women to want that in a man. In order to show that you need to show confidence, stand up for yourself, strive to be successful, be trustworthy and keep you word.

3. She might have problems herself.

Sometimes it is not about you, but about them. She might not be ready for someone nice and caring. Maybe she has a past of bad relationships and she doesn't know better. Or maybe she isn't the type that is looking for a committed relationship.

In any case, being passive aggressive about someone not wanting you, will not make them want you. So, making them feel bad for not wanting to sleep with you just because you were nice is going to push them further away. It is ok to tell them that you think you deserve to be treated better by them, but don't push it too far. Just say what you have to say, if they ever cared about you they will realise their mistake, if they never did, you can talk as much as you want, there won't be much of a difference.


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Most Helpful Girls

  • Actually what I have found is that men who consider themselves to be "nice" guys, aren't actually that nice at all. In my experience they are nice on the surface, they listen to you, say they care about you, but in the end all they want is sex and they will be upset if you don't give in. What I am trying to say is, they are only nice to you because they are trying to get sex. It is a superficial niceness. If you say no, then they are no longer nice to you. EVERY time I went on a first date with a nice guy, they tried to get me to sleep with them! The average guys (not the jerks, I don't think many people actually like jerks) did not do this, they waited for me to decide what I wanted and make the first move showing a physical interest in them. The nice guys didn't understand if I said I need more time, but the average guys were more patient and respectful. I think because they aren't as desperate. Just my idea, maybe someone can tell me why this is.

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    • because many people act nice to hide their true nature.

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    • no i feel the same way. it's an asshole move to try to talk a girl into sex. i think the reason is some guys get butthurt if a girl tells him no. there's also the possibility they got their hopes up. it's no excuse either way.

    • I understand your point, but please, don't lose all faith in guys that try to behave nicely. Whilst some might only be doing it in a self-serving way and may not be nice people on the inside, not all guys are like that. Judge each individual guy by how he acts.

  • Women dont like assholes. Period. A gentleman is what we want. Self proclaimed "nice guys" tend to be not so nice. Usually they are overbearing and rude if rejected. So they are assholes too. But a gentleman knows our boundaries, has good manners which is a huge turn on by the way, and can handle himself while taking care of us.

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    • Yes, that is what I am talking about.

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    • You would think so, but when I hear a woman talking about how men should take care if women, it makes one worry that the arrangement will be one sided, like the needs of the man will be ignored at best and mocked at worst.

    • The big secret is that all men are capable of being both.

      The only difference between them is how one controls their behavior better than the other.

      But, I have found that when I sell myself as the archetypal ‘asshole guy’ is the only time I have ever had sex. When I go back to my more natural state of actually caring about others more than myself I am rejected by everyone.

      Perhaps it’s disconcerting to think about. But it’s the reality. The exception are guys who lack self-awareness. These guys are completely oblivious of their actions. I find women like these dumb guys because they are pure hearted and not capable of manipulation. I personally just see them as stupid or incapable.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Women still prefer assholes though. You should see the amount of lewd fan mail the Parkland shooter is getting in prison.

    My problem is actually more with a society that constantly blames all men for a few bad apples' actions, and with the fact that it's women who are cheering those bad apples on. If you're not one of them, you a) suffer because of the bad apples' actions, and b) get blamed for them by the same women cheering them on. It's fucking ridiculous. And now the rest of society has joined in too. Big companies like Gillette, big news organizations like the BBC: they all agree that men suck.

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  • So a lot of nice guys are quiet, reserved, chill, and kind. What's wrong with that? Just because a guy is nice or isn't quick to run his mouth when something isn't going his way, doesn't mean he's a weak bitch. And as a side note, I know plenty of nice guys who are trained fighters and would beat the shit out of these asshole boyfriends.

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    • I’m one of those nice guys. Was a pro fighter for 8 years

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    • @sonnysunshine I’m sure you are right. Not being sarcastic. However, I think the majority might be like that. I would say that the minority that aren’t, are special.

    • @Robertcw it’s a pain in the ass. Also I don’t think any nice guy can ever really become an asshole.

      But nice guys can control their passive/needy tendencies. They need to do the following:

      - be less available.
      - stop saying sorry, only apologize if you really screw up
      - cut down on pleases and thank yous. This is hard, very hard. But sadly that’s nice guy behavior.
      - speak up against bullshit. Try the peace route at first but if someone pushes you fight
      - work on masculine body language.
      - dress masculine.
      - follow a masculine hobby.
      - be careful what of shit you post on social media.

      I recommend following Corey Wayne. Also the book “no more mr nice guy” was a really good book. The author explores WHAT turns guys into “ nice guys” (he blames feminism and I agree with him). He also give you concrete advice on how to change.

      It’s hard. But it can be done.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Perhaps the ''nice guys'' you're referring in your post are the liars that pretend to be just looking for a friendship by doing the girls lots of favors.

    Then when the girl doesn't reciprocate, he gets all upset and stops doing those favors, which indicates he was worst than the jerks after all.

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    • Pretending to be nice to get something in return are the ones I hate the most. If you're genuinely nice, then continue being nice because you're that person, not because you're hoping she's going to kiss you.

    • that is the typical nice guy, they invented stuff like friendzone and were passive agressive about girls not wanting to sleepwith them after they have been nice...

    • How do you suggest expressing sexual attraction to a woman then? Saying ‘I am sexually attracted to you’ right to your face seems like a bad idea. Unless it’s actually a good idea, in which case I will literally try it out.

  • In my experience nice guys tend to have a lot of empathy which is good, though women tend to be more empathic then men- in general that is, so the nice guy relates to and understands a woman’s problems which is more like one of their female friends, which is why I guess that some women think, if I have a bad breakup or relationship or a bad day this guy is great to bounce ideas off and to get where I’m coming from. But then there’s more, a lady might like to be with someone with a few faults one because it’s those rough edges she might like to help to smooth out having a more maternal nature, and if a man shows he has these natures it may seem to her like there’s no place for her to help him become a better man, and overall help him to be the best spouse or potential father he could be. The reality though is that if a guy needs to improve himself, he has to do it for him, he has to learn from his mistakes and he has to progress because he wants to. Some guys who are a bit more damaged and know they need to improve don’t do that in a relationship because those rough edges are barriers he’s used to survive through life and when they’re brought into question he can become defensive, maybe he’ll change for the better? Maybe he won’t? It’s a drama that many relationships have, but bottom line is that he would need to do it for him. I think overall it’s because women have a more maternal nature like I mentioned before. Hope that made sense 🙂

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  • Ok you spoke you peace now i'm going to speak mind. And let me say i'm not really arguing with any of the points you made. But while you say this is what women want. once they have it they typically find they have fools gold.
    It's Ironic that you use Maximus (Russel Crowe) as your example. considering he broke up Dennis Quaid's and Meg Ryan's marriage... So that's a real man? interesting. lol
    Point 1 yes women have their types. Not a lot you can do about that.
    Also as i kind of touched on earlier women like bad boys because they display the "manly qualities". No one tells them what to do... including the law sometimes. Good luck with that. And all women think they can soften these guys what they typically find in reality is they're a single mother later is all. wash, rinse, repeat. till they decide to learn from their mistake (s). Some never do. Unfortunately the kid (s) pay the price. But we're not real men either because we think of the kids lol.
    Finally on the point of being passive aggressive after rejection (and i get a lot of real women hear won't agree with me, and that's ok we all have our opinions) When you reject a guy he has the right to act any old way he chooses (short of being physically or verbally abusive... no one has that right). Just like when you rejected him you had the right to do it any old way you want for any reason you wanted. I'm going through that right now. I was rejected i'm moving on but she wants to still be friends. The relationship has been altered she needs to accept that's not possible. I'm not mad but neither should she (she is).

    For what it's worth i think you're on point with with most your take but I think you need to add a lot of these women while this is the way they think it's precisely the reason they have such bad relationships and take to G@G to lament about it. And these guys being rejected by such women is actually a good thing because their life would be nothing but heartache anyhow.

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    • I am not sure who's marriage he broke?

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    • I got the point the problems is you think because you make a few good points that your take is flawless. You make a lot of assumptions and they're not all right. Learn to take criticism rather than lashing out.

    • i didn't say it is flawless, but that you exagerated a bit. Also, people with a criminal record aren't that smart in general, and I wouldn't say stupidness is a quality for men or women

  • I am at a loss as to how you would define the term "nice guy".
    Please, could you elaborate on how you would define a "nice guy"?

    I think a lot of decent guys, get confused by the term or there just seems to be multiple interpretations of what a "nice guy" actually is defined as, from a lady's perspective.

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  • “However the reality is women don't like assholes, but they prefer them over nice guys for their manly qualities.”

    Sorry but that is retarted. Try taking a class in logic at a community college.

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    • You are retarded. I studied logic in college and i passed it. Maybe you should take one, and an IQ test as well.

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    • You are putting it into a stereotype, not me. I didn't say i want to be a housewife and i expect a man to provide, pay for my meals on dates, etc. I strictly talked about personality qualities. Men like specific traits in women too. It is not my problem yku do not likr the truth and I do not care what you do with yourself.
      Nowadays someone can't even try to help because people get butthurt over an article. If you do not want to change then that doesn't mean i should tell this information to people who want, so i do not understand why so many men feel the need to complain about this mytake. When a guy makes a mytake on what he wants in women or when he tries to help women in x situation you do not see girls complaining that much. Same happens with that gillete ad. Men got offended for no reason. The ad wasn't hatinh towards a specific group, it was just spreading a message about harassment and how people who witness it should do something instead of watching.

    • It's not your take that's offensive per say, its the truth behind your take that is offensive. My goal is to introduce doubt into widely held female belief systems in order to invert the social hierarchy much like socialism inverts capitalism.

      Step one is to illuminate and raise awareness of the problem. That's my primary goal for the time being. In other words, I'm trying to change your sexual preferences. I think there's a very strong case to be made that the current status quo is producing unnecessarily aggresaive and violent people, which leads to war and crime. The type of men women prefer are the thpes of men that disrespect the value of life, disrespect diversity of expression and are in general extremely rude people.

  • "Nice guys" aren't the problem. It's weak, submissive head-nodders that turn women off. Young women in particular will mistake asshole qualities for masculinity.

    Be a benevolent gentleman, but stand your ground and take initiative.

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  • This take is awful. Men in movies can't be compared to men in the real world or the internet. That's like me saying every girl should be like a female lead in a movie because she's so reserved and stands by her man it's bullshit. You're the reason people are spreading this mgtow crap like herpes... soooo thanks?

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    • what example do you want me to give? plus it's the character that is an example, not his exact behaviour.

  • I did a little experiment myself where I stopped being a nice guy. More girls were attracted to me for some weird reasons. It was the worse moment for me because I wasn't being true to myself. Being nice means you'll be a doormat, and they'll still feel victimised.

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  • Well said! There is a lot to learn and develop for guys so they can have success. Environment abundant in Beta male traits. My training was... either void or completely wrong in so many ways. I had to undo a lot, sucks for men, and women who have limited supply of men. As I'm out and about, enviornment looks really sad for women, at least where I am.

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  • from my experience, those of us who are loyal, kind and loving tend to get shoved to the back of the queue... we find many women prefer the "bad boy image" and while some of us might attempt it, it comes across fake and uncomfortable with us, and while some women are attracted to kind guys their experience of fuckboys and players can often leave them distrustful of guys who come across as genuine, as the fuckboys and players would often attempt to mimic the traits of someone who is genuine in their intentions... and as a result assume we are fake or just someone else after one thing

    it makes our lives much harder to find a genuine woman, and we tend to end up being rejected as a result..
    also many women who are players themselves play on the desires of genuine guys cos they want to do pretty much the same as those guys who prey on genuine women...

    it is wrong of anyone to mislead anyone purely for personal gains and they maybe aware or may not be aware of the damage they are doing to those who they mislead and the genuine people who end up looking for a true and real relationship

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  • The Gladiator was almost a good story, what it lacks is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_capability

    So Commodus was obsessed with the Arena. He was jealous of Maximus, and all the subsequent events transpired in the movie presented him as a vile coward. Which made it perfect for a surprising insight towards the end of the movie, that he was actually a genius duelist. That is what I would change about the story to make it worthy of my three fucking hours watching this trite drama. And so the Emperor defeated Maximus fair and square in the final fight. In the end, what he wanted the most was to be worshiped as the champion. So he toyed with Maximus after disarming him with superior swordsmanship. The emperor stabbed Maximus a few times, forced him on his knee. The emperor then turned his back to the crowd, to bask in his glory, at that moment Rome acknowledged him for the first time, they chanted his name as the champion of the Arena, son of Zeus... In a split second Maximus stabbed the emperor in the back and cut his throat. Rome was silent. Maximus, fatally wounded, asked Quintus to free his men, then he gave the final speech about Aurelius's wishes. Lucilla ran to grieve for Maximus, that was the last thing Commodus saw before he died. Then the rest of the vision about Maximus's wife and kid, he died soon after, the same ending. Lucilla asked a moral question and urged Rome to return to its good values, the people honored Maximus and gave him the proper burial, leaving the emperor's corpse lying in the empty Arena, alone and forgotten.

    It's actually closer to history too:

    www.tribunesandtriumphs.org/.../...e-colosseum.htm
    "The Emperor Commodus actually fought as a gladiator in the Colosseum ordering his fights to be inscribed in the public records and announced in the city-gazette. It is said that he engaged in gladiatorial bouts 735 times. Such was his prowess in the slaying of wild beasts, that he once pierced an elephant with a pole, pierced a gazelle's horn with a spear and killed huge, wild beasts with a single blow. Commodus then ordered the people to worship him as a second Hercules on the ground that he had killed wild beasts in the amphitheatre. He allowed statues of himself to be erected with the accoutrements of Hercules and sacrifices were performed to him as to a god"

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  • The problem with "nice guys" is that they aren't really nice. guys. Real nice guys are genuinely kind. "Nice guys" feign kindness in the hopes of deceiving women and getting sex. Most women instinctively know when the guy is pretending. When faced with the choice between someone who is openly a jerk and someone who is a jerk and fakes niceness, she tends to go for the more honest one.

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  • Nice take. This is exactly what I’ve been saying for years.

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    • Forget the post lets just talk about Rick and Morty from this point on.

  • That still doesn't explain why girls go back after being mistreated a real man would not treat them like that in the first place I have a friend who is a real piece of trash a drunk and I saved his girl from him years ago he wanted to hit her he sobered up I left then she told me the next day he hit her and even after all of that she would break up with him but always go back for some reason girls like being treated horribly the nice guy can't compete because they would never act that way.

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  • I agree with every woman and I think some guys. Every guy isn't nice and there will never be a perfect nice guy or even a perfect gentlemen because at some point in time we're going to go out of the way and do something that we really shouldn't do such as after being rejected some will make a big scene like the fucking world is over or just push too much until she moves away. In reality as a guy we are 2 times more likely to be rejected than a girl/woman and at the end of the day trying to make her regret it won't help your case and you can't be a nice butthole either (lol). To be completely honest I've never done it to a random girl/woman but i have been desperate after two break ups trying to get the girl back. I'm not a nice guy, but im an imperfect gentlemen plus I have anger issues and depression and im protective. im definitely not that attractive and I don't force love i just let it naturally come at the end of the day id rather have a thousand friend girls until i meet the right one. if I said anything wrong please eat me up about it.

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  • "They like to be taken care of" basically means they want a guy with money. They're gold diggers. The idea of hypergamy seems to be pretty true for most girls. I'll definitely keep in mind to appear poor to weed out typical golddiggers. That's a pretty pathetic biological nature you all have. It really quite disgusts me. To think, I would actually date a girl with no money. Maybe I should reevaluate that they may be using me.

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  • I dont think that guys understand that some girls are looking for their soulmates. And yes there are soul mates out there. The one person you feel an extreme connection with and I believe there's that one person out there for me and honestly I dont care if that means you're a guy, girl, pans or trans. It's about personality for me. I dont understand why there has to be this "nice guys finish last" debate. If you're what I want you're what I want, simple as that.

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    • Anybody that is looking for a trans need to be melted like the wicked witch

    • I heard she's looking for banks / body guards and nothing about personality.

  • The 1 and only way you can get friends zoned is trying to be friends with girls you want to fuck.
    If you're trying to fuck, she is not your friend. Period.
    And if you want a friend, stop treating her like a girlfriend. It's so damn simple.
    How do guys keep fucking this up?

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  • Entitlement. I did *insert common courtesy* so therefore I deserve *insert assumed privilege*.

    This "nice guys" and "fuckboys" argument is getting tired because they're usually one in the same type of guy and share traits that don't actually value women. The only difference is that fuckboys end up actually getting some. Is being a genuine person like not a real thing anymore?

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  • I always say on GAG, don't listen to what a women says, watch what she does.

    Her actions reveal what she really desires, often her words are just rationalization of the behavior.

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  • Easy, be like maximus. Girls like nice guys too. There's just a difference between being generally a nice guy and being a #niceguy. Often the ones that complain about this phenomenon with girls are the latter.

    I remember this one nut job case:
    Guy: "Im a nice guy i will bake her cookies and take them to her place while her boyfriend is there"

    Girl:"No i won't go out with you or have sex with you besides i already have a boyfriend"

    Guy:"what? You owe me i brought you cookies you owe me a chance. You don't understand im the nicest guy there is!"

    The stoty goes on but it was a perfect example of #niceguy

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  • "However the reality is women don't like assholes, but they prefer them over nice guys for their manly qualities."

    Wow, so you don't even like assholes but somehow they're still better and preferred over guys who are genuinely nice? Do you even hear yourself.

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    • She's saying we don't like assholes for their attitude, but we like them for their qualities.

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    • We all have different mindset even we're in the same sex.

  • Sorry but that is personally rubbish i say be yourself dont be what is meant to br a man lol strong independent this is a statement from the past were all unique people be ur self and u will find someone who loves u for u as for girls who go for the bad boys its nothing to do with instinct or the such its just that little girls not a women they have no idea on a relationship just want someone that looks good once not a girl and a women and the nice caring bloke get plenty

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  • Because "nice guys" often aren't nice guys when they don't get what they want. Just because I call myself a plane, doesn't mean I am a plane.

    No. Nice guys don't struggle getting girls. Pussys do struggle getting girls and I am guilty of that charge.

    Just because the dude looks intimidating doesn't mean he is all that bad and it shows a sign of masculinity as well.

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    • I think you are too young. A lot of people take advantage of nice people and it gets them irate over a while. It's not that they "arent really nice" it's that they aren't so nice they are willing to sacrifice everything for nothing in return.

      Men who sacrifice everything for a conceited woman are pathetic if they haven't realized how cruel she is.

    • @Jaysonava There's a whole reddit about it. r/niceguys and r/nicegirls

  • It's about experience in my opinion. You have to get know soul of women and act by considering the situation.
    Sometimes they need friendly behavior, sometimes compassionate things, sometimes wild things.
    If you expose a behavior which is different then she was needing at that moment, simply, you couldn't satisfy her need at that moment. And repetetive wrong behaviors push you to the friend zone.
    Mechanics are simple, hard things is to understand her feelings and needs at that moment 🤞

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  • From what I have seen Bad boys or bad girls tend to be the most sexually attractive people. Let's be honest sexual attraction is a huge part in this. No matter how fantastic someone is no amount of niceness will make up for them being unattractive..
    The problem with with someone being sexually attractive often comes narcissism. Sometimes abuse with it.

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  • Many good points, and it's true.

    Women are more complicated/advanced than men when choosing a partner. Men don't have to like women process of choice any more than women have to like men's process of choice, but the fact is, it varies between the sexes.

    Besides, women may be picky, but if too picky they will be miserable and alone, so in tge end it's will balanced out.

    Women of quality have the ability to pick and choose, and what is wrong about that!!!

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  • You nailed it in the second paragraph. That really is the main reason. Nice guys tend not to be masculine, assertive, dominant, courageous.

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    • Agree, but what about the agender people?

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    • @Robertcw ooh, touched a nerve there. How about this, I’m gonna be honest- those people are mentally ill and I hope they find treatment.

    • @MisterAnon69 I blame women for prefering human trash like yourself. Gender is a social construct not innately tied to biological sex. Women this man is a legitimate asshole. How have we come to a place where these types of men are sexy? It's not logical.

  • And another reason is that many guys who call themselves a nice guy, aren’t actually that nice. They are opportunistic. They act nice in order to get what they want. And when they don’t get it, they get either (I have had all these reactions) suicidal, depressed, desperate, aggressive, or borderline crazy

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    • well I don't think im that nice and im naturally crazy, deppressed, and mad

    • They get upset after being treated like shit as a genuinely caring person. Yes. They don’t ever go back to the way they were.

      It’s like witnessing a murder. You’re never the same after that.

    • I don't know where some girls find all these secretly crazy nice guys. Most nice guys I've ever met have been legit nice, even if they did want me on some level and were afraid to vocalize it.

  • I so agree with being to nice and feminine like. I used to be that guy when young. Girls used me for money, food, a place to stay you name. Then I got some balls and grew a nice dick to go with them. I kept some of the nice guy stuff and thrown in some stuff I picked up from my biker friends. And low and behold no more friend zone. I was in the getting laid zone. So yeah you have to learn to throw in the some asshole in with the nice guy.

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  • American women have ENORMOUS problems with themselves! The women themselves are toxic, hateful, spoiled with terrible attitudes, the vast majority of American women younger than 40 are in gangs, hence they are covered in tattoos and lust after violence. And they know it's a capital felony under Federal law for a man to be friends with dating couples. American women themselves are toxic and violent in their hearts, and that's why they go for guys that are toxic and violent.

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    • I agree with this part "toxic, hateful, spoiled with terrible attitudes" most of them are JUST like that even on a friendship level

  • They are not really as nice as they think. It usually come off as weird not nice. It can come off as a mask until you know them better.

    It's the lack of confidence or other issues that is the problem.
    If he is his 30's and hasn't done much in his life or career wise it's a turn off. We need to be in the same stage of life on many levels.
    Being nice is very minor plus as after a while the real personality will be clear and hopefully he stays nice.

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    • I have seem this too. What it boils down to is that women son appreciate men for who they are, they only care about what they are capable of doing.

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    • To me and some girls being religous is actually an attractive thing so it's not like you need to change it but you need to know when it is masking your personality.

      I'm glad you understand yourself better after these discussions. Only then you can focus on what you want abd how to get their.

    • Yes. Actually I have suddenly started to feel pain from a prior relationship that I self sabotaged.

      I was a classic fuckboy who took advantage of a freshman college girl and we hooked up twice and actually dated a little. I reached out to her again after ghosting the poor girl and after sending her a text asking how she was she unexpectedly called me.

      I now feel terrible and my memories haunt me. I don’t think hookups are for me afterall. I mean, I feel really bad about it and to be perfectly honest I’d rather be rejected countless times and be celibate than do something that reckless again.

      I haven’t cried in years but today I cried after our phone call. I can’t believe I went so long in denial of my emotions, hiding behind a persona that wanted casual sex all the time. In reality I never processed these events fully.

      I am much more fragile than I thought.

  • I can attest to this, i started working on being a self confident man with high self esteem early on.

    There is always women wanting me and im not bad at all. People say im a really nice and cool guy but i never do anything that goes against my beliefs or let anyone treat me less than i deserve.

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  • This one is a social conditioning problem.

    Many men believe that being good, or bad has a significant impact on attraction.

    That couldnt be further from the truth.
    Attraction doesn't care about good or bad. It only cares about how good looking and masculine you are.

    Once people realize that, its good.
    I plan on teaching my boys from a young age, when i have them.

    Dont want them to repeat my mistakes.

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  • Many men misunderstand what women are meaning when stating they want a, "nice guy", in the same way many women misunderstand what men mean when they state they want a, "strong women". Cliché buzz phrases that are cemented into the lexicon. That's all either are.

    Beer me...

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  • Guys get too caught up with one girl and completely tune out other women. Unless you're in love, you should have 3-4 other women you're talking up for this exact reason. Then you get perspective

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    • Absolutely true. The only time in my single life when I felt completely in control of my "girl scene" was when I was dating three women at one time. I was never at the mercy of a particular girl for emotional or sexual attention, and it really showed in my self confidence and peace of mind. That's why it is so important for Betas like myself to learn and practice Alpha behaviors. And I'm not talking about being an asshole here. By far, the Alphas I've personally known are helpful, nice people. Rollo Tomasi is right. Keep at least 3 plates spinning.

  • The problem is not being a "nice guy", the problem is where it's coming from.
    Whenever you are nice to someone it has to come from a place where you just do it because it comes from your heart... AKA freedom of outcome, no expectation.

    Most nice guys do it in order to get laid and here is where the problem begins.

    Most nice guys are nice to girls but pricks when it comes to other guys.

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  • I found it odd how, on paper, I was supposed to be everything that women were supposed to want, but before I turned 30 I could almost not get a date.
    About age 30 I gave up and stopped trying.
    I even began to avoid women, because lonliness and a need to have someone to love had morphed into bitterness and resentment.
    It seemed that the less interested that I was, the more intered some women became.

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  • At least you are willing to admit that you like masculine men. Maybe more of you women should speak up and be honest. If you haven't noticed already, even the American Psychologist Association is going after "toxic masculinity" in an effort to curb the very masculine traits women find attractive.

    Who do you think is more likely to respond to this anti-masculine bullshit? Men who would rape and murder you? Or men who want to protect and help you?

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  • i got decent looks tbh , and i treated most of the women in nice way , can't help that's how i am programmed , and as you said i got zoned , and now the thing is i am not interested in anyone , i just reject most of the approach , that's the side effect of getting zoned by girls i guess but fine i reject all the good looking girls as well and that gives me a boost these days !

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  • Guys with "Manly" qualities usually have a lot of testosterone and testosterone tends to make people aggressive or "mean" for some reason, nice guys most of the time dont produce as much testosterone so they are more mellow, you can't have a win win situation

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  • I am only friends with the one, I might be friendly, but not friends. Not with my age or younger. I really only have older female friends.

    I think world is a lot more dangerous today. When I was a kid , i can only remember one murder , no drugs being used, theft was rare and so were home break ins. Today , it takes 15 minutes of the news to mention all the murders.

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    • I was talking about ancients times and before that.

    • I am very picky, and a guy should be if he is going t have kids with someone. I look for attractive , moral, believes in God, no tats, none smoker, non drinker, doesn't have kids, and doesn't do drugs, parents are still married, no diseases. Now how many women does that leave available? But if one meets these standards and if I meet hers, and we get married , I am sure it is going to last until death do us part.

      Women and men don't date long enough, have sex way to soon, don't discuss the big issues before they get married.

      If a woman doesn't think I am good enough to marry , then I am not good enough to be friends. I also don't want to be second choice , so I will leave her with her choice and move on. I also don't want to hear all the problems she is having with Mr wonderful.

    • Also women are different today. They don't really want one guy for the rest of their lives. Women used to want to get married to guy and have kids and be married for life. They wanted a nice guy on children's behalf. Now women want partners not husbands and most don't want children. But from what I see, women don't stay with same guy very long, They don't work at same place very long either. Not much loyalty anymore. Not in relationships or in retail business these days.

  • Girls prefer guys of such type.

    A women always tends to choose nice guys,
    I have never seen or heard any women living a good life with an asshole...

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    • If that was true , there would never be divorces, which 2 out of 3 end up in. There wouldn't be any restraining orders issued either. Most people marry the wrong person or date the wrong person. It is because women are nice , they stay with them.

    • Well that is not the case in my country.
      Here 1 out of 25 marriage leads to divorce.. may be less.

      And divorce has Many Reasons, there are people who take divorce happily coz they make proper choice.

  • A woman needs to be spanked on the ass and told "I want you naked and I want it good."
    That's all that any guy needs to know. Also try this pick up line "I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobie"

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  • Th only solution in this case is for the guy to walk away. There’s no Need to be a friend if that is not your intention.

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  • People often confuse nice guy with door mat. You can still get the girl and be a nice guy. Im a classic case of this

    What women dont want is a door mat

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    • That's because until very recently nice guy MEANT doormat.

  • Seriously women really dont get what they want. I am a nice guy but im no wimp either. I take more chances just dont break the law. Im simple no drugs or alcohol dont smoke.
    Ill do almost anything once.
    They choose and pick the most abusive jerks stay with them.
    I dont hit women and dont just sleep around on them.
    Women wonder if a guy likes them after giving him what he wants the guy runs. a lot of guys who are just stupid boys.

    Women look at me as refuse because im no brad pitt.
    I dont fit the james dean character.

    Money can't buy happiness because I work my buns off they think im poor or dont have mondy for them.

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    • By nice guy I meant the general term, as my point was, ideally a man could have the qualities of both, like the fictional character Maximus. You can be nice and assertive at the same time, actually, that would be awesome.

    • That is true.

  • I never see any guy in real life calling himself a nice guy though. And there are a lot of women who do like guys who mistreat them or disrespect them for whateever reason. So i pay attention to actions, not what women say. Not bashing your take though

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  • I'm not the best looking one out there but I have still gotten around the block a few times. If I like someone I just flat out try and date them, I dont show them my awesome power of niceness. I dance, I can sing, I playfight what ever feels right with that one, I even teases them slightly, dare to be your self but put some sexy on top.

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  • Because girls make them a secondary choice in case if something gets wrong their current boyfriend plus they keep them for emotional support and nice guys act nice and wait them but...

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    • Aw... this breaks my heart. :'(

    • Show All
    • @BehindTheMist where is this then?

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