My name is Marc. I am 26. I'm a pretty average guy with a lot of ambition. I've always been the guy who many have called "Mr. Right". I am a college graduate and graduated top of my class. I wouldn't call myself athletic, but I value my health and hit the gym often and enjoy taking fitness classes. I also wouldn't peg myself as popular, but I do have a great group of friends that I hang out with every weekend. I enjoy doing community service at animal shelters. I also work as a documentation writer for a major corporation. I live in a high class apartment complex and I drive a pretty nice car.
When you read all of this, you may instantly think that I have it made. You may think to yourself, "he sounds like a great guy and has all his ducks sitting in a row". Many people say this to me, but that's far from the truth. Despite me being so successful, it was incredibly hard for me to find a girl that would accept me. I've tried it all:
-Various Dating Sites
-Clubs/Lounges
-Classes (Cooking, Dancing, Art, etc.)
-Events
No matter where I would meet women, no matter how many dates I went on, women were never interested in me. Ever. HOWEVER, I decided to try Tinder again and I struck up a conversation with a girl. We ended up going out on a date, which turned into another date and another date and now we are dating.
In regards to dating, everyone has their own tastes and their own opinions. This Take is meant to be a story of some of my dating experiences, and my own opinions as to why women are having such a hard time finding good men these days. Let's begin.
Women Don't Know How To Hold A Conversation With A Man
Have you ever done people watching before? Well, when I see women talking to other women, it seems natural. However, when you see a man and woman conversing, it's entirely different. It's funny... because when I talk to women and they tell me what they want in a man, they always tell me they want a man who knows how to hold a conversation.
In the past, whether it was on dates or just talking to women in general, I was always the one doing all the talking. Women always expected me to inquire about them. They always expected me to keep the conversation going. They always expected me to ask all the questions. In short, a lot of women I met would take a passive role when I would talk to them, and it would make talking to them very difficult. I actually see women doing this with a lot of men; however, they take a more active role when talking to other women. This is where most women fail with men. They think the conversation is all about them and men should only be getting to know them.
The one thing I like about the girl I am dating is that she actually knows how to hold a conversation. When I talk to her, she asks me questions, I ask her questions, we inquire about each other and the conversation can go on all day as a result. This is one of the first things I noticed about her. She is very chatty and opens up a conversation with anyone, and the conversations are never one sided with her.
Women Are Petty/Can't Take A Joke
I have noticed that a lot of women get pissed off at the smallest and slightest things these days. If a man makes the slightest error, they won't want to talk to the guy anymore. This actually has happened to me quite a few times.
Most recently, before I met the girl I was dating, I was talking to a girl who was into cars. We met at a car event, and we were talking for a few weeks before we decided to go out on a date. I remember a few hours before the date, we were talking about our cars. She drove a 2015 Camaro, and I drove a 2015 Mustang. I remember a couple hours before the date, I told her that there's no way in hell that Camaro's can beat Mustangs and that my car is way faster than hers. After that, she got silent and responded with, "oh, ok". Then I asked her if she was alright, and she simply replied, "yeah". I then told her I would see her soon, and she replied, "ok". When I got to the date location (which was an hour drive), she never showed up and stopped responding to my texts.
Another thing I like about the girl I am dating is that she is goofy and she knows how to take a joke. She doesn't get mad over small things and won't stop talking to you over stupid things.
Women Are Too Judgmental
These days, it seems like women are extremely judgmental and hypercritical over men. Whether it be a man's looks, his personality, down to the little things (like the way he drives, the way he picks up a fork, etc).
Last November, I remember I went on a date with a 37 year old woman who seemed nice and genuine. She told me that she has been single for 13 years (that should have been a red flag from the beginning). During the date, we talked a lot and it seemed like it was going well. After the date, she told me it wasn't going to work. She mentioned that:
-The way I dressed was "Steve Urkel" nerdy. To the date, I wore black combat boots, slim blue jeans, a white Henley, and a black blazer.
- She said I was too nerdy. I told her during the date that I write comic books and that I like superheroes, and that I want to use my writing to inspire kids to be better in life.
-She said I wasn't manly enough. Apparently, she thought my voice was too light (my voice isn't that deep) and she said that I wasn't that muscular (I weigh 170 and I go to the gym 4 times a week). She said she wanted a man that plays sports, is extremely jacked and sounds like a man.
-She said that I'm a nice guy and I could be wealthy one day, but she wants a man who is actually a "man" and does "manly" things.
The girl I am currently dating told me that people come in different packages, and that it's silly to critically judge a person. She told me that she likes my ambition and my drive to help kids. She also told me one of the things that attracted her to me was that I was not afraid to open up and be myself around her... and she also really likes the way I dress (she says guys rarely pay attention to the way they dress and smell) and she finds my ambition really attractive, and she believes that she can a lot from me.
Women Act A Fool
A lot of women I see these days act a fool, and they also have this princess persona. If you go on social media, you will see women posting a lot of provocative pictures or posting see-thru shirts with an outline of their nipples. Then, they get pissed when people comment on their body and call all men perverts.
One time I went on a date with a girl I met from the club, and that was the biggest mistake of my life. During the date, I was doing all the talking, trying to figure out things about her and she wouldn't open up to me. She was also on her phone texting and snapping pics of herself during the date. I got pissed and eventually got up and left. After the date, she texted me (drunk) and told me that I was an asshole, and that she would never date me or fuck a guy like me. A couple days later, she posted on social media, this meme:
It's funny... a lot of women expect a good man, but they do nothing at all to keep a good man. This is something I see time and time again. The one thing I like about the girl I am dating is that she doesn't use social media, and she is not self-absorbed, only drinks when we go out together and doesn't party at all. In short, she is very mature.
Conclusion
Again... the dating world is different for everyone, and everyone has their own opinion on what they look for in regards to the opposite sex. This Take is not meant to bash all women (I am just pretty much explaining what I have seen in the dating world), as I know not all women act like the women I have discussed in this Take.
However, it seems that in the world we live in today, women expect so much from men and don't give anything back in return. If you want a good man in your life, you need to practice being a good woman and a woman that a man would enjoy having in his life. There's tons of good men around, but many of you choose to look through them.
Final Highlights:
Most Women I Meet:
-Don't know how to talk to men
-Expect too much from a man -Have nothing to contribute
-Have kids from previous relationships at such a young age
-Don't pay for anything and expect men to do it all
-Very judgmental and small minded
-Act like they are God's gift
-On social media too much
-Extremely petty and gets angry over small things
My Girlfriend:
-Knows how to make conversation and talks to everyone
-Splits dates with me. For example, I pay for the movie tickets and she pays for the food (I don't even ask, she does it)
-Knows how to be goofy, can take a joke and doesn't take things too seriously
-Doesn't get mad over small things (isn't petty)
-Barely uses social media
-Doesn't want kids until she is financially stable (she is 23, just finished college and is looking for a professional job)
-Doesn't party at all
-Isn't judgmental, looks for the best in people and works to improve her own flaws
I think you make actually very valid, excellent points. There are a lot of hypercritical women who take a very passive role in dating, though we kinda gotta blame conditioning just a little. However, we also have to accept as women that we're adults and can "raise above our raisin'" as they say.
Now I've never met a woman quite like the older one you dated, but I have met plenty of women who were too judgmental too quickly and expected more than they are willing to give. So honestly I don't have too much to disagree with here. However, I will say I'm not surprised that you found a lot of these women (by the sounds of it) on dating sites. They're there for a reason sometimes, yaknow? Lol. Not to say everyone who uses a dating site is a particular way, you get what I mean.
I'm glad to see this wasn't some girl bashing take and you made good points. Good work.
"I'm glad to see this wasn't some girl bashing take and you made good points. Good work." Yet article says all women are fools... yeah totally not bashing women at all
I tend to agree with you on most of your points, but they're also things I find unattractive in a guy
Being a terrible conversationalist is generational as well. The main reason why girls can't talk to guys is because they can't talk to strangers in general, add being attracted to the stranger on top of that with her being the submissive type, and you have the Trifecta for a girl who can't talk to guys. I agree that it's a problem, but I also understand where it comes from
Pettiness is also something I consider to be generational. A lot of millennials were raised to believe their opinion is sacred and therefore they can hide or act irrational of someone disagrees with them. I've dealt with my fair share of petty girls and guys
I completely agree 100% that women are way too fucking judgmental and I don't have a problem admitting I fall into this category as well. The problem stems from early social interaction when girls learn about the social hierarchy. The male hierarchy is based on who is the manliest to who is the unmaliest while the female hierarchy is based off status, looks, and social networking. Little girls starting at age 7/8 are little bitches and judge the shit out of each other to determine where you stand on the social hierarchy. Unfortunately this is conditioned into us from a young age and is mostly irreversible. Yes women are too judgmental, but unfortunately that's not something we can fix completely. Studies show that women also bond over judging other women, so it is in our genetics to be judgmental
I think there's a little bit of a double standard when it comes to acting a fool. Men do a lot of dumb shit that women have been putting up with for years, so it's only fair if you give a slight pass for women every once in a while. I like to go out with my friends and get drunk at the club and fall down if I want. I work 40 hours a week and have my own place and pay for all of my own stuff. I'm mature enough in my daily life that I should be allowed to act a fool for 2-3 hours a weekend. I don't hookup with anybody and I don't end up in fights. Going out and having a carefree social life is healthier than sitting cooped up in a house day everyday (this causes depression, and I'm sure most men would prefer a fun-loving social women than one who's depressed). Yes there are extents that you should stop acting a fool at, but a little bit is healthy and normal
Overall I think your advice was good, but I think it applies to both genders
I was going on start my real account Friday and now I know you like getting drunk. Can't you just get drunk off Kombucha with me and let me feed you cherries while lying on a cot and go on a date and eat grasshoppers with me?
Remember, we both believe coffee drinkers are wusses. I have changed 40-fold for the better in last 3 months. We're a dag gone match!!! Need I say more? ^_-
@Porch Still not gonna happen, but I'm glad you're trying to change
And I drink vodka/cranberry, not whatever TF Kombucha is. I only eat cherries in the summer and I don't lie on cots. I would never eat grasshoppers with you
@Idonthaveausername Since you're afraid to have daughters with me, maybe we can have 13 sons together and you can bottle me some cranberry juice. I'll even lie on a bar stool for you and hang out at your favorite club with you. Imagine you introducing me to your bar staff.
@Porch I'm not having 13 children, especially not with you. Lol at you coming to the club I hang out at. There's a new bouncer there who would kick you out in a heartbeat for trying to look at me. You wouldn't even get to the introduction stage. And I'm not a big fan of tea: I only drink it when I'm sick
@Porch Lol. He's over 6 feet tall, so you couldn't possibly be him. And he's older than you... The only ones who are short are the owner and the one my friend is screwing, so I'm pretty sure you're not any of them
I don't judge attraction on physical appearances. I base it off a combination of many other things
I'm probably already going to hell if it exists, so that's not really a hard decision
@Idonthaveausername I really look up to you. You know that? Actually I'd have to be under 5 foot to look up to you. I'm kidding. You're my 2nd favorite female here.
I know I am not your bouncer. I meant imagine if I were the bouncer at your club and you had to depend on me to throw out the men and women who caused problems.
Don't judge on physical appearances but didn't like my nearly 2 inch long fingernails, eh?
@Porch Lol. I don't depend on them because I can handle myself. The new guy has a thing for me, so he likes to stand between me and the guys who try to dance with me. I will never depend on you for anything and I'd talk to the owner about firing you if you kept harassing me
I don't get turned on by physical appearances, but I do get turned off by them. So no, saying your height and weight or flexing your muscles won
Won't turn me on or get me to think someone is sexy. But someone who is obese, unhygienic (that's the category your fingernails fall into), way too old or too young... Yeah that can all turn me off
@Idonthaveausername I wouldn't harass you if I were in leadership authority over you. You know I wouldn't harass any woman or man. If you were working at a nail salon and I entered for a manicure, how would you feel?
You know a lot about me. I'm not the same man I was 3 months ago. I am passionate about many things.
My nails are super clean. They are not unhygienic at all. They're just very long. I am closing this account Thursday and embarking on real one Friday.
I am a tad scared to be honest. Can you help me overcome that fear?
@Porch I've witnessed you harass people here before, so I'm not going to believe that one just yet
I don't touch people, so there's no way I would be working at a nail salon. There would be too many situations I would walk away from (yours included) that I would get fired for
Once again, I think it's great that you've decided to change, but I'm not the kind of girl who wants someone to change for me. I want someone I can respect and admire for the person that he is and the mindset that he's chosen
I haven't felt real fear in a long time. I have accepted death to come at anytime. Nothing can scare me if I can accept something worse
@Idonthaveausername I don't think you realize how great I would be for you. Us together would change a lot. It would show people how magnificent you are.
They call I harassment. I'm just a bold man. I stand up towards women and when a woman doesn't want to continue with me, I call her out about why. They happen to get mad. I've mentioned this to church girls. When they say they don't want to talk about it, I say talking about it lets everything out.
I'm too open with people and that gets me in trouble.
I know my 4 problems that bother you that you want me to work down if I want a puncher's chance with you: got to get arrogance down to 0%, genuineness, ditch short shorts and slice my fingernails.
@Porch I don't really care if people think I'm magnificent or demon-possessed. I've been on both sides of the coin and still favored my own perception. There will never be an "us together" because I know you would make me unhappy and I'd regret it
You're not bold--you're an asshole. You don't stand up to women--you abuse them. You don't call women out--you belittle them. What you do is the definition of harassment. I'm not one of your church girls
No your ego gets you in trouble
If you really think I only have 4 problems with you, then you're dumber than I thought. Even if you fixed everything about yourself that I don't like, you still wouldn't have a sliver of a chance with me. Those main problems were what I said you needed to fix if you want a girlfriend, not what you'd need to fix to get with me
I do the same thing to women that they do to me. If they want an answer to something, I give it. If I want an answer, I ask them about it. Part of my openness is that I am like a child with trust. I automatically give people trust by default. I'm an automatic trust type man instead of a got to earn my trust type man. I can't help it. It is my nature. We are all important or we wouldn't have ever been here.
I don't see how you would regret being with me. You never been with me in person so I don't see how you think you'd regret it. Okay. I have 3 women on dating sites. Can you help me decipher if they seem legit or fake? Can you at least do that for me? I don't want to pick a fake woman. I mean there is a girl here that I like but lives in Pennsylvania. Many states from South Carolina. Help me later, please.
@Idonthaveausername My psychologist said I have the mind of a 12 to 14 year old. I am lacking in many social skills. That's what she told me in April 2012.
@Porch I can believe that. It means you're emotionally and mentally stunted in development. It basically means you're immature
Women find immaturity to be an extreme turnoff. Women like men who are mature mentally, emotionally, sexually, physically, monetarily... And the list goes on and on. I don't know any woman who would prefer an immature boy over a real man if given the choice. Even if she isn't prepared for it herself, a woman always prefers a mature man
@Porch Women are attracted to protectors and providers. You acting like a teenager means you aren't suitable to protect or provide for a woman
You may never gain maturity, but it is possible. It starts with your mindset by taking responsibility for your actions rather than blaming other people
@Porch That's exactly what I mean when I say you're immature and don't get it. Women don't like boys who need protecting
I haven't talked to my brother in over 6 years because he's mentally and emotionally stunted to act like a 14-year old. He's in his 30s now and still spends all day playing video games. I consider that a lost cause and have cut my losses with him
@Idonthaveausername There are many types of ways that women can protect men. Doesn't have to be the normal ones.
I don't see it as beneficial that you give up on your brother. It says you think losers have no hope and don't deserve having their sister in his life. I'm assuming you think he is a loser.
@Porch You will never understand it unless you magically become a mature adult
I do think he's a loser because he chooses to remain in his lifestyle. If he wasn't such an asshole to me growing up, maybe I'd still be in touch with him. But much like you and your sister, he didn't care to treat me right, so he doesn't deserve me in his life. He also doesn't like me or want me to be a part of his life, so the feeling is mutual. I don't have a lot of hope for anything. Seeing is believing for me
@Idonthaveausername Ever thought I may be mature if I was with you. You could show me how to conquer immaturity. A good thing about you is that I know you'd never cheat on me and that you'd be of major help.
One reason that draws me to you is your willingness to help people but it seems they must be willing to be.
@Porch You won't understand why your current state is so unattractive until you mature. You were the one who admitted you liked the attention you got when you wore a suit. Imagine if women responded that way to everything about you
I'm only here for a little while longer and I'm not originally from here.
That's not a question. I teach people how to be better everyday. I understand people on their fundamental level, so it's easy for me to pinpoint their failures and encourage their potential
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I realized early on that I'm no worse than the rest of the world if I treat them the same way they treat me and I don't want to be like the rest of the world. People have a better respect for me when I help them
@Idonthaveausername There is probably ways I can help make you a better woman also even if you don't admit it.
My sister originally kicked me in the nuts for showing up without that suit on too. So after hurting on the floor 26 minutes, I had to go home and put it on.
@Porch I'm every bit of woman I need to be. There are plenty of guys who think I'm perfect exactly the way I am. I try to learn something new everyday, but I don't need to learn any of it from you. If I'm going to learn anything from a man, it will be from one I respect
@Porch Absolutely not. It is never OK to hit a woman unless she is assaulting you. Even then you shouldn't, but it's acceptable to defend yourself in that situation
How many feet do you have? I thought you already had both in your mouth, but it seems you've grown another one. You are so inconsiderate. Seriously it's no wonder you're still single
@Idonthaveausername It should be just as unacceptable for a woman to hit a man shy of self defense too.
I should not have to suffer 26 minute on the floor, then possibly hope not to also get slapped. And all because I chose not to wear certain clothes. She was not kicking due to self defense. She kicked me due to stubbornness. That's unacceptable always.
@Porch You've proven that you still don't respect women. Until you respect women, you will never have a girlfriend. You think you're some sort of gift to women or something, but you're just a narcissistic pedophile. How can you ever expect a woman to want to be the object of your affection when you're more attracted to children than her? No woman wants to be compared to that nor be with someone who thinks that way. You use your religion as a pious excuse to feel superior to others when you're still the scum of the Earth. Most people don't like religious zealots, but those like you are the worst. Quoting the Bible and God's word doesn't mean a damn thing if you're an asshole or the people you're harassing don't believe you. Act religious 7 days a week, not just on Sunday. I've stated very clearly on this thread alone that I'm not interested in you yet you continue to harass me and have the gall to insult me and tell me what I want out of a relationship and need in a man
@Porch And I'm telling you that I know enough about you from the conversations we've had on this site that I wouldn't be able to stand you in person, let alone find any way to be romantically attracted to you
Women like men who can protect and provide for them. You don't find adult women attractive because they're more mature than you. Women want men who are more mature than them. You're too immature for a woman to be attracted to you
@Porch No they don't. Most men do not want women to protect them or who are more mature. Men like women they can teach and lead and protect. That's why men like short women. That's why men like women who look young. That why men like virgins. Most men regardless of age find 19-20 year old women to be the most attractive (think Hugh Heffner). Men like to feel like they can take care of and provide for their women and family. That is why you're not a real man
Yes because you're fucked up in the head. You refuse to understand social constructs, have an inflated sense of self, and push people to the point of thinking the only way to deal with you is to get violent. If you learned your lesson, I wouldn't defend them, but you repeatedly make the same mistakes because you don't think your actions are wrong. That is psychosis. You are wrong, disgusting, disrespectful, and never going to be marriage material
@Idonthaveausername There are many men who like women older than he was and likes her to lead and teach. Many men like women taller than him. This is not a 5% thing. It is way more men than that.
Women like to feel like she can provide for and take care of her family also. Many 75 year old women like men in their 20s and 30s also.
Explain the social constructs and inflated sense of self. I'm my own person. I should not have to be expected to meet a social standard and women who think I do, I am not attracted to her. Hence the short shorts, long beard and long fingernails. I only shower 3 times a week. Daily showers takes away from the natural scent of a man.
Me and my sister differ in many areas. She thinks clean shaven men are best. I like bearded stuff. She's 5'3". I'm 5'4". I can call her a shorty but she can't due to that 1 inch. She thinks men should always be 6" taller than his girlfriend at very minimum. I don't pay homage to that. She can be 4'10" or 5'6". Doesn't phase me.
@Porch You can argue that all you want, but most men prefer to be the leader/protector/provider in relationships. If most men preferred it the other way around, I would never get hit on
Women who are post-menopausal don't count because they're no longer in their prime
You're a narcissist. You believe you should be able to abuse women and rape little girls. You are not your own person--you're an abomination. If you want to live a happy and fulfilling life and stay out of prison, you need to obey laws and assimilate into social constructs. If you're unattracted to women who think you should, then you shouldn't be attracted to me
I think a man should be at least 7 inches taller than me so I can wear 6" heels and still have him be taller than me. All the men I've been attracted to were at least average height. I like looking up to a man so he has to bend down to kiss me and lean on either me or the wall behind me
@Idonthaveausername And you can argue all you want. You haven't provided me any proof. When you do, I'll provide mine. All women count, regardless of age. I never said I believe I should be permitted to abuse/hit women. Never said anything about rape.
What makes you or women so special that you have to be shorter than men? If all men were 4'8" and all women were 4'11", then there would still be almost every woman wanting to be with a man.
I don't have idiotic and uncalled for height requirements in women. Maybe I believe all women should be taller than me so I can look up to her and feel sexy as she has to bend down to kiss me. I have just as much right as you to feel that way. Maybe I can wear 6" heels and be 5'10" and still shorter than a 5'11" woman.
@Porch Now you're getting defensive. You pushed me to this point. Blaming or shaming me any further only proves your immaturity
I don't have to prove anything to you and I don't care enough about you to prove anything to you. I will answer your questions, but you can look somewhere else if you want exact statistics. I personally wouldn't be with a man who needs a woman to protect him
You have exhausted the topic as naseum. If you truly respected women and wanted to be with one for the right reason, you wouldn't still be talking about it
That's the way the world works. I have plenty of guys who are taller than me hitting on me, so I have the option to choose someone taller than you if I want. The day a woman no longer has that option is the day it will change. The average man is taller than the average woman, so the average woman isn't going to expect less than the average man
You're free to do that if you can. I won't stop you
@Idonthaveausername What am I shaming you with? I am not defensive. I stand up and speak my mind whether you are a man or woman.
I wouldn't be with a woman who needs a man to protect her either. You don't need any more protection from a man than I do from a woman.
If you truly respected men, you wouldn't be saying it too.
You don't like taller men because they hit on you. If a group of men who were 4'9" to 4'11" were hitting on you, you would turn them down. So it is not due to taller men hit on you. An average man can be 5'1" 107 lbs and still be average in other things. Just because he's shorter than average man, doesn't make him less than average.
Dominate men can be anything. I can say men wearing 4" heels and short shorts are dominate and it will be true. I can be the truth holder to that. I don't know why you think I am an egotistical boy but I hope you have 5 points to show I'm that. Otherwise, it's just for debate.
@Idonthaveausername A man can be shorter than you and still be dominate. He can be weaker than you and still be strong. He can be younger than you and still be wise. He can be not as smart as you and still be smart. I've never known a woman in my college or church that wanted a man smarter than her. All the women I know make it seem the man is less intelligent than her and commercials do it that way too. If men are smarter, then why do they spend $500 on a ring at a jewelry store for her and go broke doing so? That's not a wise investment.
@Porch You're not speaking your mind. You're exhausting an issue I'm not going to change my mind on. I turn everyone down, so don't think you're something special because I'm not interested in you. I have been very interested in a man who was average height and would still give him another chance. I'm not going to settle in a relationship because that wouldn't be fair to the guy
I actually have had to rely on men to protect me from other men and women, so don't get too carried away over there. I receive a lot of unwanted advances and hostility that I'm too small to defend myself from all the time
I do respect men, just not you
I like it when I can fully trust someone who is bigger and stronger than me and fully capable of doing me harm. That trust to know they will never hurt me or any future children is something I would need in a relationship. You're not someone I could trust
What do you want here? You're just making yourself look bad at this point
@Idonthaveausername I just wanted to know what the issue is you're not changing mind on is. I still have no idea. You could be interested in a man shorter than you. You don't know where love will take you. He may feel he doesn't want to settle for you. The men that protect you could be done by women too. I don't know why you respect other men but not me but okay.
I like it when I can fully trust someone who is bigger and stronger than me and fully capable of doing me harm also. That trust to know they will never hurt me or any future children is something I would need in a relationship too. You trust me. You just don't trust having daughters with me. Lets make that clear.
I want an assessment as if I should use the dating topic at g@g soon and help me get a girlfriend. A girl I like here is 5'8" and I'm 5'4". To you, we wouldn't be a match since you believe men have to be taller.
@Porch Women prefer men to be smarter than them in long-term relationships. Women bitch about men being ignorant and foolish, but they prefer a man to be smarter. A man's brain is 10% larger than a woman on average due to him being taller and therefore needing a larger brain to handle the extra mass
$500 for an engagement ring is low. You're supposed to save up 4 months salary on that. Unless you're only making $100 a month (which isn't even enough to live on) you should be spending a hell of a lot more on a ring for the woman you want to marry. And another man spending $500 on anything for himself or anyone is none of your business
@Porch I will never respect, admire, be attracted to, date, marry, or trust you. It is never OK for you to abuse a woman, and I won't allow you to do that to me. Stop trying to convince me I don't believe my own opinions
Let's make it clear because you don't understand: I don't trust you and I never will. I don't trust you as a person. That has nothing to do with any future children I may have because I will not be having them with you
I could not be attracted to a guy shorter than me because I'm only attracted to men, not boys. I would never be attracted to someone who saw me as settling because I can only learn to be attracted to a man who thoroughly desires me
I don't care who you date. If you want to date someone who is taller than you, go ahead
@Idonthaveausername Just because you say women prefer men to be smarter than her in relationships doesn't make it so. Show me the evidence then.
Why should a man have to spend that much money on a woman? There is not even a guarantee that she and he would be together even if he did pay that. But what about women competing for men? What about women paying $500 for a ring for a man or something else? Unbalanced relationship. He does the paying but she pays nothing for him?
Why don't you trust me?
So if the man you're currently with was shorter than you, you wouldn't want him anymore? I'm sure the man you were with knew that, he wouldn't be happy. I'm talking about whatever man you're with right now was same man but just shorter than you, you no longer want him. Very shallow to have a height restriction. Just because a man is shorter than you doesn't make him a boy.
Sorry, but I say you're misinterpreting a lot of issues. You're applying this as if this is all women, and this isn't. We know exactly why women have a hard time finding a good man, just like with men finding a good woman:
1. They're sleeping around or having premarital sex. 2. Conflicting views about life, love, sex and marriage. 3. They present themselves as usable, not keepable. [easy to dispose or put away] 4. Attitudes, unhealthy mindset, immaturity.
You are meeting poor women and you have/had poor taste in women. THAT'S why most people have a hard time finding the right kind of person. And it's what one of my favorite pastors have spoken about in his famous quote: "It's not about finding the right person, it's about DOING the right things."
SO, on that note, where were you doing RIGHT by trying to pick up women? Going to clubs, and bars, and attending classes mainly for the sake of meeting girls? What you say applies to everybody whether male of female. There is nothing wrong if somebody is mostly serious. If your joking all the time it can become a turn-off. If you even joke about the wrong things some people like myself wouldn't agree with, like explicit sexual jokes, I wouldn't want to be around you either. You say how women are petty, judgmental etc, yet you're doing the exact same thing. I don't think you really understand what petty vs. getting mad over what's important to the other person. I can joke and have fun, but I'm more serious oriented as a person and anybody I see that thinks 'life is a joke' mentality is somebody who I would avoid considering as a marriage partner. But may make a good friend to hang out with. However, on that note, I only agree with the Women acting like a fool part. But hey, that's what a lot of you men go for when you want to sleep with them and you still lust after them. So unless your not one of those men, that is why a lot of women do what they do. Because of a lot you men like that. Meanwhile, a church or religious girl is a prude to most of you. A lot of you do the same thing then cry 'where did all the good women go?'. I'm glad that you found somebody that compliments you. But your needs are not every man's needs.
Many men don't know what they want. If a woman holds sex until marriage, she is this and that blah blah. If she is wealthy, she is blah blah. If she wants big dick, she is blah blah. I figured it out. I didn't negotiate. F. c them all who don't respect women just because they have done banging them and now finding a perfect woman who has it all. 😂. Their behavior manifest itself-many men want disposable women and settle to someone they think she has less sexual partners or nothing at all.
Ladies, don't give up your bonbon unless he married you.
Them not knowing what they want is no excuse. That is a cop out to even say that. They know what they want. It's whether or not what they want is what you want. I never said anything different than what you wrote. The same way they do what they do applies to fickle women as well. The reality is people don't take relationships seriously.
Great take, and honestly i agree with things you said, but let me tell you things based on my experiences with dating especially the last 5-7 months I have been doing it actively looking for love and settling down, and I discovered the following:
-Don't know how to talk to men: I do surely know how to talk to a man about his interests, things he can teach me, things he is interested in, our common values and opinions, our conflicting opinions to understand etc. But recently the man I met and dated for four months basically said it is better to have good and every day sex than talking and sharing each others' lives. So most men expect sexual objects not a talkative good woman. -Expect too much from a man: Again, I split my own bill, or if he pays for pizza I get the movie tickets. Or this time I shop and cook for him, and next time he grabs take-out from Chipotle and brings it over. This time I rent a movie on Amazon, next time he gets the movie on Hulu. Again, when I wanted to share the bill and not let them pay, they said we are on a date, I am supposed to pay. So apparently most guys expect dependent women. Also, I ask for dates and before I made first second third moves, men treat these women who try to give back in return or start a fire like they're easy lays and sluts. -Have nothing to contribute: Yes, having vagina is enough for some women. So some women hold for sex just to cover that they don't have anything else to bring to that table, but men don't care about that. Unfortunately I see those women are more successful in finding and hooking good guys by just sitting at home. -Have kids from previous relationships at such a young age: Some guys do too. But the men I dated prefer the women to be slutty than classy. So it's ok to sleep around and be a single mom for some. -Don't pay for anything and expect men to do it all: I explained it earlier. -Very judgmental and small minded: Only very uneducated ones. -Act like they are God's gift: Because some have vagina... -On social media too much: I am not on social media at all, and I get disturbed when I get stalked. But I've seen men on dates on other tables, where the girl constantly post things or checks phone during dates. Plain rude. -Extremely petty and gets angry over small things: Yes, I had this one girl who got angry just because the guy agreed to split the bill with her, and the guy didn't text for an entire hour to answer and he was at work by the way.
Believe it or not, My Anonymous, I think that you are doing okay with women. . . at least compared to my sorry history. :-) The one serious girlfriend I had on the younger side of 30 used me as a diversion for a year, so that her parents would not suspect that she was maintaining a secret relationship with a bad boy of whom they disapproved. The twisted evil of that girl's soul, as well as her ability as an actress, inspires grudging respect in me to this day. Outside of that, despite a fairly high-profile job in the media, looking good enough to have been press-ganged into a couple of modelling gigs, and ticking every box on what was supposed to be the female wish list, before I was 30 any approach to a female that did not result in her saying 'fuck off' or 'fuck off, you freak' was counted as a success. It was not unusual to go more than a year between dates. The problem that I faced then and you have faced also, is that you are not a scumbag. You are a successful young man who has his head on straight and knows where he is going. Most of the girls in your age range do not want that. Instead, they get all wet and tingly over Mr Harley MacBadBoy, Ivor Necktatto and Chad Thundercock. None of these males have a future, or are in any way husband material, but at that age not many girls are thinking coherently enough to understand that. As Cyndi Lauper sang: "Girls just want to have fun." The drummer in the band who will make it big one day; the struggling artist; the bad boy who has the heart of gold that only she can see, these are what make the girls in your age range all tingly in the crotch. Good men are 'boring' and 'not fun enough'. You are fortunate to have found someone who appears to be a sensible girl, who knows what she wants and recognises husband material. The others, the ones who ride the bad-boy carousel, will get to 30, realise that they have been chasing the wrong sort of men, then poke their heads up, look around and utter that old female lament: "Where did all the good men go?" The answer is that about the same age the good men realised that they were wasting their time (15 to 20 years of being rejected and Friend Zoned will lead to that epiphany) and that there is a lot more to life than seeking female company. So, the good men leave the building and do not return. Good men should invest in manufacturers of cat food and cat toys. It is a growing market.
I can't help but agree with this. I'm laughing how many girls are acting offended , if what he described isn't you then don't get so mad. is he generalizing, yes without a doubt, but don't get so mad about it if what he described isn't you. he's only talking about what he seen , something that SOME girls do a lot, remember? all guys are asses?
but I can really put my self in the shoes of op here. you have all the traits a girl can want , but In the end she will probably turn you off before the other way around. or just forget how to act and blsme you for why you 2 fell through.
new age girls act like they are entitled , and don't have to give anything back or even have a personality. and about the petty thing, I won't forget this, on valentines this girl I was talking to was mad no one took her out (lol) and said " niggas ain't shit" I responded with and females don't know what they want , she got so mad and told me never talk to her again cause I called girls females, meanwhile she just said what she said about guys...
I can't stand judgementalness ( is that a proper word?) nobody's perfect. No one has that right.
I, like a lot of women, like to joke around. I like it if the joke is at my expense, because if you can do that and the other person can take it, you've broken that "awkward" barrier when it comes to what you can or can't say.
I do agree about the conversation part sometimes. I can talk to guys about sport because I like sport, but other things can be tricky because we don't always look at things the same way, but that doesn't mean you can't talk about it. as long as you don't mind being disagreed with, conversation is pretty easy. I'd rather sound stupid to guys than sound like I've got nothing to say. Having things in common is one thing, but girls who try to be "one of the boys" are going to trip themselves up eventually, because girls are not guys. There is a difference between us for a reason. When I met my partner, I didn't know much about cars, but instead of pretending I did, I just asked him stuff while he told me stuff and now we can talk about cars because of what I know from him. Conversation between two new people is always awkward. Everyone is winging it, but falls into place eventually. I think it's when you pretend you're someone you're not and act like you believe, or know something you don't that it falls apart quickly.
It's the same with expecting anything. Don't. Just see how it goes and enjoy yourselves.
My guy likes conversation but despise me when he can't circumvent my argument. However, I stopped challenging him in topics I mastered. It's not worth of bruising his self-esteem. He is a great guy who is very intelligent, and know things that I haven't exposed to. Disagreement is healthy until it results in personal attacks.
Couples shouldn't stop caring to each other even at the times they argue. Choose words carefully. When people fail to care for their partner, they part ways asap.
Well, all of these are essentially just generalizations but I'm sorry you've had so many bad experiences with women. Obviously not all women are like this though and many of them would apply to men as well, so they aren't gender specific.
I do want to point out though my disagreement with your point about women being "too judgmental" just because many care about looks/style. Pretty much EVERYONE has some sort of standard for how they want their partner to look. There's nothing inherently wrong with valuing looks, both men AND women do that.
No one wants to date someone they are not attracted to. So in that situation you described, it sounds like it was just a matter of individual preference. You didn't fit her preferences and that's okay. You can't appeal to everyone but obviously your girlfriend likes how you look and dress. I'm sure you have preferences for how you like women to look too and things that would be turn-off's for you (obviously, since you stated them in this myTake).
I'm glad you found someone you are compatible with though and it sounds like you have a good relationship so best of luck to you. :)
Wow, I think I might be your girlfriend's twin haha!
I've noticed this too, even in trying to make friends with other young women. Making new female friends is a nightmare and it feels so one-sided. It makes me wonder, honestly, why so many of us are like this. I think it's mostly because mothers, aunts, grandmothers, etc. keep drilling the idea of playing "hard to get" into young women's heads. And when I say "hard-to-get", I don't mean hot, flawless, intelligent, and unattainable. Women discovered they can feign this perfection by being uncommunicative and passively demanding. Which I mean, it's a viable way to trick a guy into commiting, emphasis on "trick". But relationships that start off with that vibe are superficial, one-sided, and ultimately doomed. The "you invest in ME and prove to ME that you're worthy" mindset becomes engrained into those young women and spills into other areas of their life as well.
It also could be cultural. Not sure what part of the US you're in, but some cultures are more conducive to this happening because believe it or not, MEN reward it. For instance, in the South or Midwest, men generally have strong positive reactions to women who play "hard-to-get". As a result, swaths of women in those areas play that game. So many women, actually, to the point that women who are even so much as communicative (or God forbid humorous) are labeled "sluts", "easy", etc.
I sympathize with your frustration with the opposite gender and the dating game, but please understand that it's a two way street. Neither gender is perfect, and people of either gender can have these types of bad habits that make it hard for them to maintain a successful relationship. The generalizations you're making are completely out of control. "Most" women you meet have children from a previous relationship at a young age? Dude, that's so not the majority. You need to cool it with the stereotypes, and understand that these types of bad habits and mistakes are a human condition, not a female condition (somebody with a penis fathered those kids, right?). I'm sorry you've had so many bad experiences with women, and I'd be the first to admit that women aren't perfect (and some are less perfect than others). But if you think that 100% of men are perfect, relationship-ready rays of sunshine, and that every unsuccessful date or failed relationship is the woman's fault, you're delusional. This myTake would be a lot more constructive if it wasn't so biased.
"Women Don't Know How To Hold A Conversation With A Man" I agree with you on that one,, because of our age me and you grew up in that awkward phase that technology just started to take over our lives but it was in a much later stage so we retained some social skills and the like. I notice this in young kids, i'm in college post military life and I'm just talking to them and they get so weird. Like I swore I pissed off like all of them but no, they are just uber shy. I will say via text i'm terrible at conversations lol. "Women Are Petty/Can't Take A Joke" I think that has been long standing forever. "Women Are Too Judgmental" In your case, older women either want a many guy or a guy that has his life together. But they are too judgmental, I have had strippers accuse me of cheating on the girlfriend I didn't have at the time because I was too handsome apparently. One of them her boss had to make her leave because she was causing a scene over me "cheating on my girlfriend" "Women Act A Fool" That is especially true of American women
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
This article is very sexist... I'm not saying all women are perfect but these huge generalisations are ridiculous... There's just so much wrong in this article and that actually isn't the worst part... The comments are what hurt my heart to read... From what I've gathered, there are a lot of people with broken hearts, and I want those people to know that they're going to be fine and they will find someone one day. You're not going to keep getting hurt forever. You don't need to say these hurtful things about the opposite gender because a few people her you... When every relationship fails you can be upset but you also need to look at it as something to learn from. Take a look at yourself and what you might have done wrong. If you can't find anything, think about what the other person did wrong so you know never to treat someone else like that because you now know what it's like. If neither of you did anything wrong then look back at your relationship and try to see how they changed you or what they taught you. It could be as simple as getting you to like yoga. My point is, every relationship you have in your life is there to teach you something, everyone in your life is a role model whether they be a bad one or a good one, and all of these lessons are just so that when you meet the right person you will have all this knowledge and you will have changed in a way that will enable you to have the best possible relationship with them. I really hope that this message has helped make some of you feel better... I just hope everyone can learn to love again instead of hating about 3.5 billion people because of something a few of those people did...
100% agreed Women can't expect to take all from men just because they are women. There shoudln't exist a sense of entitlement, but rather a healthy back and forth that contributes to the growth of a selfless and giving relationship.
Happy you found a woman like that, by the way. Congrats ^^
Women were never interested in you and you found it so difficult to find one who was interested in YOU, and not just your dick, because it sounds like you were looking mainly in places that are known solely for being place to meet someone to hookup with. You also sound incredibly narcissistic so, truth be told, I wouldn't really blame them for not displaying any interest in you.
i was genuinely shocked to see you claim to have a girlfriend. I could never be with someone who honestly believes all women are like this. It is very close minded thinking. IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME WHAT WOULD BE THE FUN IN THAT Everyone is made of good and not so good qualities, the right person for you can look past character flaws. Everyone is different an that's what makes us so happy when we find someone we can be comfortable being our total selves with. Some men love taking care of a woman and doing everything for her--some women have better salaries than their spouse. I'm sure your girlfriend is great but to me you sound controlling and that's just one thing about you--I won't say ALL MEN ARE CONTROLLING.
Frankly, I want to live next to him, so he will prove me how perfect he is. Or I will watch him changing each month or year. It doesn't take a lot of an effort to piss him off. Texting while with him upsets him already. Imagining being with him, he is a high maintenance person.
I pay my own bills, but my guy gets very upset when I do. He told me to keep my money. A man who wants his woman pays, he has no stable job..
"This Take is not meant to bash all women (I am just pretty much explaining what I have seen in the dating world), as I know not all women act like the women I have discussed in this Take."
How could he have possibly been any more clear that he doesn't mean ALL women?
Being a woman and a feminist (because the two are clearly not synonymous), I have to agree with you. Women tend to act like they're God's gift to men everywhere. The social media thing is on point. I just got through explaining this on another post. The problem, I think, is women have been spoiled way too much. They go out there with a list of expectations and strict requirements - which would be fantastic if they lived up to the expectations and requirements as well. What a shame.
@bananaman177 I'm not preaching against feminism. I'm advocating equality and fairness. Egalitarian is the preferred phrase.
@somewheresomeway Women need to accept responsibilty for some of the reasons why men can't find a good date. It shouldn't fall just on the man. If we looked at ourselves in the mirror and asked what's wrong with "us" then we could make some changes, grow and adapt. But we're stuck in this mindset that enables us to do as we please based solely on our gender. Where's the fairness in that? Because women expect the past ideals of a "gentleman" but they don't want to put in any kind of effort. I'm not saying misogyny doesn't exist. I'm not saying men aren't sexist. And I'm not siding with either gender. My point is that dating is work from BOTH genders.
You just need to abandon the term, "feminism." Sorry, but it's been so corrupted, you just discredit your position by associating yourself with feminism.
Look up the authors of these quotes, these are the most prominent and prestigious feminist thinkers in the modern era, and the authors of most women's studies curricula.
@Bananaman177 You're absolutely right. Those quotes from feminists are volatile and flat out disgusting. It has been corrupted by one-sided, close-minded extreme hatred against men (which I do not in any way agree with. Walking dildo? Seriously?). So to associate myself with feminism is a discredit to my position indeed. You're right.
@whitedahlia being a fresh bachelor (got out of a long term relationship) I'm getting slapped very hard right now in the dating world. I'm a busy man so I'm using dating apps. Unfortunately these apps are flooded with feminists. Seriously every 4th profile has something liberal in it I. e. "I don't fuck conservatives" and "if you are republican swipe to the left".
I know that not all democratic women are feminists. But it's getting to insanely disgusting about what is going on.
Like, most people of both genders aren't very mature or non-judgemental and stuff, so it isn't surprising that the author of this MyTake has run into crappy girls. I don't think he was being bitter or angry towards all women, it's kinda like, "I've noticed that crappy girls do these things."
Great my take but most didn't apply to me I was raised with a bunch of boys so talking to boys is easy for me taking to girls is my problem they annoy me. I love to joke a round my cousins have seen me get on my knees and act things out to get a laugh which normally works. I try not to judge and I don't really care about a guys looks if he doesn't act like a player or a clingy baby I'm pretty OK with him though I can't stand high pitched voices I wouldn't say I can't be around them. I dress pretty motest
Well Mister, looks like you have just not met the one yet. Which I get, is frustrating. But your list does make for a very boring girlfriend. I agree with some aspects, but does not party? Do you mean does not go to parties without you? I am sure if you do find the one, you are going to want to show her off to your friends, family, at party-like functions. It should be a girl who parties classy.
But what I am getting at is that, when you do find the one, the list doesn't really matter. I thought I was going to fall in love with a professor or an artist type who reads Shakespeare and wants to take me to plays. My boyfriend is a cook, who doesn't read, plays video games, and nerds out with me over super hero movies. The things I had on my list just don't seem to matter anymore because he makes me happy. And I hope you find that in a girl or a girl finds that in you. Dating is really just trying on different types of relationships until you get to the right one.
I'm very glad you have found someone, because I was honestly starting to feel so sorry for you. After that first paragraph in particular my heart sank, no i did not think you had it made. You were identifying yourself through a list of attributes, that according to the general social consensus is what women want.
Rich, car, works out, and loves puppies... look out girls here comes a keeper!
You listed your ""qualities" in such a superficial and conventional way. I'm really glad you found someone you click with, that gets you. Hopefully she can make you see that your self worth isn't tied up in those qualities. It's what is inside that counts.
I am younger than you by 4 years and i dont have the things you have iam kinda broke atm, but if there is anything about dating i know its tha :
1- looks help a lot so does money but they are not needed (well as long sa you're average looking at least ) you can manage to find a girl you need confidence, and sometimes to work a bit hard and have a cool personality.
2- and this is the most important one, right place at the right time , i can easily find hot girls eyeing me or being interested in me but they are always taken iam always late to such girls, call it bad luck call it wrong timing, you need this to find a good quality girlfriend.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions