The rule of avoiding euphemisms and blatant “nice tits” statements and rule of attraction of both parties is obvious. The reason some guys don’t seem to want to do it is because for all they know, the only way to know if their attention is welcome is to risk “harassing” them (assuming they approach with good intentions).
I have even heard some joke about having to resort to formal inquiries in the mail because approaching is just too risky and that even that method will become harassment eventually.
They just don’t want to catch her at a bad time which again isn’t always something that they would really know unless they ask.
The difference between flirting and harassment is one is gradually testing the water the other is jumping straight in. Harassers skip all the small little steps or continue even when she's not interested.
yep. I'd say the key ingredient is projecting "I'm interested" with language be it body or word or energy, and paying attention to the response of the other person. It can quickly turn to offense or abuse if not received.
No different than playing "ball"... when the other person doesn't want the ball thrown at them. One of them is play, the other is assault with a deadly weapon.
Apart from doing unrespectful things, I think it starts to be harrassment when you continue fliring even when the persons sends signals to stop. Than, it's no longer a person who has a crush, but a person who has a hormonal problem and needs to work it out on... you 🤢😎
It seems like those who can't figure out the difference between the two either don't care because they're narcissists or were raised by a misogynistic father or exposed to misogynistic uncles or friends of the father so they have internalized things in different ways than (hopefully) most people.
This is a pretty harsh take. Some people are genuinely socially awkward, and people need to also understand that. Some specific actors who have an agenda want to label anything they want it to as "harassment" because even the term itself is too vague.
Of course, one of the eternal comebacks is “it’s only harassment if you’re ugly”, which misses a fundamental part of flirting: both parties want that attention.
This statement doesn't invalidate the comeback "it’s only harassment if you’re ugly". If he's handsome (and maybe rich), then she'll likely want it anyway 🤷♀️
In some scenarios that is, if a good looking rich guy does it, women will be okay with it. Most women won't it depends on what measures he used. If he was sexually agressive then it's a turn off for them. If he is unually forward and sexually flirtatious she would be ok with it. If the guy was ugly but acted the same way the women would reject him. Ugly guys have to use charm, good looking guys don't have to work at it.
Hmm... consider this... I have never been flirted with. Is this A) True, I'm oblivious and from your MyTake, this means it wasn't flirting no matter what the other person intended. 2) False, Being oblivious doesn't stop it from being flirting. III) True, No one has ever tried to flirt with me.
I'm tempted towards A but would prefer it to be 2 (I really don't want it to be III but it is still an option)
Your argument falls apart when she grossly overreacts, considers your simply being polite to be a sexual advance, and sends a posse to subject you to actual stalking and harassment.
This confirms my worst fears. I have no idea how anyone else feels when with me around. Talking with a woman for any reason, makes me feel like I'm trying to open carry a high-end airsoft gun with a not orange mock suppressor through an antigun protest. People can interpret it however they see fit.
Simple rules to live: Don't unnecessarily harass or annoy people. If someone tells you to leave them alone, unless it's an absolute necessity, just leave them alone. It's not that hard.
Nice take, however I do think there is a double standard when it comes to genders when talking about flirting. Light touches on the shoulder can be considered harassment if it’s a guy doing it to a girl, but if it’s the other way around, sometimes no one cares.
There is a very thin line in between and is very easy cross that line and end in trouble if we are not careful. Harassment is always view and treated from the standpoint of who feel harassed. So if you are in the other side it's better think on the possible consequence of any action or word before do something even if you think is silly play safe. And read the other person body language, 70% of what we said is not verbal.
This can happen for both gendera. I had some female bosses female who were picking on me for no reason and it seems its there way of flirting, but its annoying
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So true. I get talking to a girl to get her number but some guys take it way too far. “Wear her down”... that’s harassment.
I go by this rule, “if she says no, keep it moving”
good mytake
Thank you I appreciate that
Generally I liked it. I feel like it does a good job of showing the difference.
In the next to the last paragraph, you misused your. It should be the contraction you're.
Petty are we?
Not petty. I should have posted my notice: GAG Grammar Police. LOL
Okay lol I knew you weren't that guy😊
The rule of avoiding euphemisms and blatant “nice tits” statements and rule of attraction of both parties is obvious. The reason some guys don’t seem to want to do it is because for all they know, the only way to know if their attention is welcome is to risk “harassing” them (assuming they approach with good intentions).
I have even heard some joke about having to resort to formal inquiries in the mail because approaching is just too risky and that even that method will become harassment eventually.
They just don’t want to catch her at a bad time which again isn’t always something that they would really know unless they ask.
Yes. These people are the modern equivalent of the sex-negative puritanism.
The difference between flirting and harassment is one is gradually testing the water the other is jumping straight in. Harassers skip all the small little steps or continue even when she's not interested.
Thank you miss
Very well put.
I agree and i think that a random stranger should always keep a distance between him and others...
You cannot hug a girl or touch a girl if you don't know her and same thing goes for a girl...
Only friends and cousins can hug or touch such as laying a hand on shoulder or holding hands... etc
Only a spouse have a full body access...
yep. I'd say the key ingredient is projecting "I'm interested" with language be it body or word or energy, and paying attention to the response of the other person. It can quickly turn to offense or abuse if not received.
No different than playing "ball"... when the other person doesn't want the ball thrown at them. One of them is play, the other is assault with a deadly weapon.
Apart from doing unrespectful things, I think it starts to be harrassment when you continue fliring even when the persons sends signals to stop. Than, it's no longer a person who has a crush, but a person who has a hormonal problem and needs to work it out on... you 🤢😎
It seems like those who can't figure out the difference between the two either don't care because they're narcissists or were raised by a misogynistic father or exposed to misogynistic uncles or friends of the father so they have internalized things in different ways than (hopefully) most people.
I agree. Harassment isn't flirting and flirting isn't harassment, either.
We agree ,,🙂 finally lol
This is a pretty harsh take. Some people are genuinely socially awkward, and people need to also understand that. Some specific actors who have an agenda want to label anything they want it to as "harassment" because even the term itself is too vague.
It's the modern witch-hunt.
I'm pretty harsh
Of course, one of the eternal comebacks is “it’s only harassment if you’re ugly”, which misses a fundamental part of flirting: both parties want that attention.
This statement doesn't invalidate the comeback "it’s only harassment if you’re ugly". If he's handsome (and maybe rich), then she'll likely want it anyway 🤷♀️
In some scenarios that is, if a good looking rich guy does it, women will be okay with it. Most women won't it depends on what measures he used. If he was sexually agressive then it's a turn off for them. If he is unually forward and sexually flirtatious she would be ok with it. If the guy was ugly but acted the same way the women would reject him. Ugly guys have to use charm, good looking guys don't have to work at it.
Hmm... consider this...
I have never been flirted with.
Is this
A) True, I'm oblivious and from your MyTake, this means it wasn't flirting no matter what the other person intended.
2) False, Being oblivious doesn't stop it from being flirting.
III) True, No one has ever tried to flirt with me.
I'm tempted towards A but would prefer it to be 2 (I really don't want it to be III but it is still an option)
Your argument falls apart when she grossly overreacts, considers your simply being polite to be a sexual advance, and sends a posse to subject you to actual stalking and harassment.
That's happened to me.
been there. always fun.
This confirms my worst fears. I have no idea how anyone else feels when with me around. Talking with a woman for any reason, makes me feel like I'm trying to open carry a high-end airsoft gun with a not orange mock suppressor through an antigun protest. People can interpret it however they see fit.
Simple rules to live: Don't unnecessarily harass or annoy people. If someone tells you to leave them alone, unless it's an absolute necessity, just leave them alone. It's not that hard.
Agree well put
Spot on. Leave people alone who don't desire you around nor your hands on them.
Thank you
Nice take, however I do think there is a double standard when it comes to genders when talking about flirting. Light touches on the shoulder can be considered harassment if it’s a guy doing it to a girl, but if it’s the other way around, sometimes no one cares.
There is a very thin line in between and is very easy cross that line and end in trouble if we are not careful. Harassment is always view and treated from the standpoint of who feel harassed. So if you are in the other side it's better think on the possible consequence of any action or word before do something even if you think is silly play safe. And read the other person body language, 70% of what we said is not verbal.
There is always the option of fuck off. Block, report.
Things will only effect you if you let them.
In real life
This can happen for both gendera. I had some female bosses female who were picking on me for no reason and it seems its there way of flirting, but its annoying