Men, Stop Pretending To Want Friendship If You Want More! (Page 2)

[elpipe]

I like this article. Men shouldn't make it a secret that that they want sex.

I have a friend who has a female friend that he really wants. He is always being nice to her, if she needs a ride he is always and leaves whatever he was doing if she needs a ride. "Gotta show my good side, you never know, if she breaks up with her boyfriend she may come to me" he says. I truly feel sorry for him.

[candlewax]

I've had this happen to me with a friend recently. I knew he was crushing, but I had no interest. We were eachother's support system since we both had break ups around the same time. Then he started acting really weird, and one day, he basically snapped at me and told me I needed to get over my ex already. I decided then to drop him. I don't think it's cool to shove self serving advice like that. I also had another guy friend who ditched me as soon as he learned he wasn't getting any. Awesome.

[echen89]

Wow this article is good and has lots of reason. Although I'm not the type of guy who does this beacause I don't persue friendships with people who I interested in. You have lots of good points here. And men do do it alot. But I always see advice too from men and women saying that you should make friends with the person first too. Although I don't really like that approach because if someone is not interested in me, they probably aren't gonna change their mind so I move on. Good article.

[hrtsnstrs]

Love this. I definentley have experienced guys trying to "win me over" by means of gifts or fancy dates. Then I would wonder why they even wanted to take me on a date or buy me gifts when they didn't even realize who I was or what I liked or how they don't impress me that way! Girls are to shoulder some of the blame, and so are guys. And I definentely hate it when guys try to "be your friend" just to make a sexual advance on you. Girls are to blame, too, though, I don't doubt that.

[Rahim517]

Disagree. Perhaps you should consider that some men don’t know whether they want to date you before they get to know you at all. It’s not written anywhere that men are required to reveal their deepest feelings to a woman after knowing her for a given amount of time. Men have the same prerogative as women. You may not like it, but fair is fair. Besides, women are just as guilty as men of hiding their true intentions.

[Telemusik]

I have I've known this girl for 11 years now and I can't remember if I liked her when I first met her but the last few months I've started to see her as more than a friend, but I'm not going to go there as I'm happy as we are and I also find the attraction a bonus as I love spending time with her, and the way I see it is not only does she get a good friend but also a guy who is crushing on her a bit and will go the extra mile with everything, and she will never know why this is or question it.

[blueandwhite]

The reason this happens is because of all the talk we get about sexual harrasment. Women become scared of men, and men become scared to approach them and ask them out as a result. Because of this wall that women have put up, men becoming friends with them is their way of tearing down the wall. Then they ask out the woman once they think the wall has been torn down. So before you tell us guys to stop doing this, woman need stop this nonsense of freely throwing around the word "creeper."

[DrJones]

This article is kind of long and could use some editing. All of us should forgive you because it is so full of win.

Well said - seriously. This is an uncannily accurate description of most of the men and women who I can't stand being around.

[Takkunlee]

A lot of my guy "friends" have lost my friendship because they were getting to be a little too friendly and I'm happily taken. I don't put up with it and it p*sses me off because I get a long better with guys rather than girls.

[A-R-Norman]

Rafael--I feel you brotha! I hate when anyone, guy or girl, makes some one else pay for the fact they picked a loser to love--why not just learn and make better choices...

[PurpleSapphire]

What an outstanding article! I have encountered the "nice guy" a few times over the years so I can definitely relate. This article as well as those like it should be mandatory reading in junior and high schools. It would spare a lot of unnecessary hard feelings and bad behavior.

[NMMan]

Once again Ms. Norman speaks the truth - and I know the previous article that you're referring to which inspired your writing fury, lol. Well done, as always.

[IWANTWHATIWANT]

II have this goody two shoes type of guy pursuing me who seems to think that he is the only one appreciates me beyond the physical. Well, I actually think it is quite the opposite. I think that these nice guys are blowing smoke up my ass with their nice guy compliments, only fooling themselves. I suppose to him I am this unappreciative and deceived woman who doesn't like the nice guy!

[philstark]

WAOOW I give you a 100 out of 10 for that article ! If you have confidence and she feels secure and happy when with you... Just fukin be yourself and if she likes it, it will work. If you try play games she will find out sooner or later that you are a fake ! AR NORMAN well done for that article

[FaytedEclipse]

What happens if you already ARE friends with said women when you realize you love them?

Then there is no benifit to being straight about your relationship, because any further advance will lead to an inevitable "you're only a friend but you're a real nice guy" speech.

So you end up pretending to be content with friendship even though you want it to go further. I was hoping your article would be about that problem, not some mysterious "game" men play of which I seriously doubt exists.

[Cyhhgg]

You can doubt it all you want, but I've known dudes who have pretended, but they really just wanted sex. Lol

Trust me, bruh. Human beings play some stupud games.

[Aristotles]

This must be an american custom. I'm not really aware of this intricate undercover manipulation games... Most of them are seen on movies or as urban legends or as paranoia where I come from.

[misses38]

I had a guy pretend to want to be friends only after I told him it was a little soon to be talking long term. He also pretended to have morals, but turns out he had a girlfriend. He made sure she saw the messages where he said he wanted to be friends, but later it would be a totally different story with me. So she?s thinking I?m after him, but actually he was manipulating both of us. He would also ignore me as a way of getting me to do what he wanted and used me to make her jealous.

[Ries4268]

I liked your article. Truth is when someone is Not attracted to you, you can't do anything about it. What bothers me is men turn this somehow into the woman's fault. Yes that "friendship" thing can be seen right through. We always know what you really want. Men definitely need to stop trying for women Out of their League. Attractive people look for attractive people. A woman usually takes money/ dinners from a guy she can't get rid of. A guy that's a 2 should try for a 2 not a 10. Annoying

[circlebill]

You claimed "A woman usually takes money/ dinners from a guy she can't get rid of." You show an incredible "entitled princess" attitude in what you say!

[CaliNative]

Wow this is one heck of a topic! But lets be real, seems like you focused too much on us guys instead of the women out their that do the same thing. Also not all of us guys have that problem it just kinda gets to me how women like you walk around with that (All Men Are Dogs) mentality and thinking that all we men want more than a friendship. I admit this was a good topic, but next time you start a topic how about focusing on both sexes that have that problem instead of just one.

[Amboyace]

Let's deal with some reality. According to studies, most women figure out if they're ever going to have sex with a guy they meet within 30 seconds. Doesn't mean they actually do, but the possibility is automatically ruled in or out. Before we can even get your name, the decision has been made. Guys work differently. Attraction can build and develop with us, but to use logic, the way men should act is to immediately ask out every woman he comes across that he finds attractive and play the odds.