Guy I like slept over but didn't try to make any moves is he interested or am I friend zoned?

[camille_1441]

I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks and we've hung out a few times, we went to lunch and he came over and watched a movie and tonight he asked to come over to do homework together (we're both art students) I really can't get a good read on him. Last time we hung out I really thought he was going to kiss me but he just gave me a long hug. Today he asked to come over and do homework with me and he painted while I was drawing, we ordered a pizza and watched a show we like, and eventually it got to be 5am. He had all of his paints and stuff with him and he lives further off campus than me and he asked if he could crash at my place on the floor and I told him he was welcome to sleep in my bed. He asked for a separate blanket and we were both exhausted so he turned his back to me and fell asleep really quickly. I feel really sad and rejected. He didn't try to even cuddle me. I feel like the signals have been mixed and I thought if he slept over he might be more flirty and some of my questions would just naturally be answered. I can't tell if he's just a nice guy or a nice guy who likes me. I don't want to twist this in my head into something it's not. What do you guys think?

I talked to my roommate about it and she seems to think he's kind of awkward so maybe he just didn't know what to do but idk? Have any of you guys ever been too scared to make the first move? I know I am I just don't know if it's okay to do that I don't want to scare him off

[Belgie]

More than likely he was flirting and looking for some sign from you that his advances would be welcomed. You didn't see them or didn't react appropriately, so he decided not to risk it.

You don't understand the risk a guy takes when he makes advances on a girl. If she screams rape and throw him out, a quickly stammered "I'm sorry, I thought it was what you wanted" isn't going to help him much.

Think of him as a pilot desperately trying to land a plane. You're the airport.

At the very least, you'd better put the lights on, even if you're too shy to actually wave him in with full radio contact.

[camille_1441]

Haha I love this response. Ugh it's so hard to send the right signals without coming on too strong. I've been out of the dating game a couple years and this is the first guy I've been genuinely interested in in a long time but I feel a little lost on how to make any moves. I forget how this whole thing works lol

[takumii]

Wow, man , love your phrases.

[goodbadguy]

I'm 100% sure he's interested in you just cause the amount of time you guys shared and he keeps asking you to hang out again. In his mind he's to shy to make the first move, at the same time he's feeling really sad and down he didn't make the move and regretting it. You can definitely change that! Next time share a blanket and make the move. He sounds like a virgin or never kissed a girl before. You take his virginity & make him a man! Lol he'll appreciate that

[camille_1441]

The verdict among my friends seems to be he's either a virgin or gay but I thought they might be trying to save my feelings from getting hurt by telling me maybe he's really just not into me, which is why I got on here to ask for a unbiased opinion. No one here knows me so why would they try to save my feelings you know? And it seems like most people are saying he's interested and just shy so I might have to really just balls up and make the first move. I'm scared to do that, I don't want to make him feel like just because he's in my bed and it's like he HAS to cuddle me because I asked or initiated it. I don't want him to feel trapped you know?

[goodbadguy]

Well I would cut to the chase and ask your friends of they're just saying that to save you from being hurt. If I was the guy and I wasn't interested in you but just wanted to be friends, I would mention the words friendship a few times so she can get the hint I just wanna be friends. From what you've told me it seems as if he's not hinting you to be just friends nor stopping the chemistry you guys have. so I think he at least is thinking about getting with you.
I've had a similar situation with this girl I liked a lot in high school. I would go over her house and we would watch movies together and lay there but we both didn't want to make the move because we were both afraid! Lol it's really silly because we both know we like each other because we're spending time with each other a lot and we would have our legs or arms touching each other or hold hands awkwardly in bed haha (this was always day time and someone was always in the house so that made things harder for us) but when I w

[goodbadguy]

when I would go home, I'll be sooooo mad at myself cause I wasn't man enough to make the move! I would hate myself at the moment and keep telling myself I need another opportunity. (i was a virgin at that time too). Long story short I got another try... But I fucked up (true story) ... One night I was home alone and me n her were texting (she lived in the same neighborhood as me). She told me she wanted to come over but she said it wasn't going to happen cause she had to sneek out so we agreed she would stay home. So of course me being a teenage boy I jacked off lol then she gives me a text right after saying she's coming over! Lmao I'm like "noooo!" Cause I just came so hard after masturbating and my dick was DONE.. so I ended up telling her the next day why I told her to stay home when she could of come over.. (embarrassing). I ended up losing my virginity several months later by this other girl (she took the first move). And every since then I'm a dominant guy in the bed now lol

[camille_1441]

Haha oh nook that sucks! Haha I did actually notice the second time we hung out he got a call and called me a friend to whoever he was talking to (I think it was his friend or mom) but when we last hung out he said several times that he was so happy to to have someone to hang out with and that he thought it was cool that we had actually followed through on our plans because people at our school are always so busy and it's easy to say you'll hang out and then just not do it. And he mentioned at one point he was a kind of a loner. I feel like him saying "someone" instead of "a friend" to hang out with was kind of a sign right? I mean he said that 3 or 4 times and never said friend, and to be a loner and spend a decent amount of time with me seems like a sign too?

[pr3ttybr0wn]

if he wanted to have sex with you, he would have took the opportunity to sleep with you in your bed

he either doesn't find you attractive, or is gay. even an awkward guy would take the chance for some pussy if he wanted it

why do people keep suggesting that the question asker make a move and saying he probably wasn't sure she was interested? she couldn't have made more of a move unless she got buttnaked and sucked his dick, is that what it would take to be more obvious? anyone who isn't mentally delayed would have got the hint that you were interested in a hookup

[camille_1441]

I wasn't really interested in hooking up. I just wanted to like, cuddle and make out. I'm not really the type to just have sex or hook up just like that. He was welcome to sleep in my bed but I knew how far I would have gone and the answer is not very, not yet anyway. I don't know I think there's some truth to what both sides are saying. I agree it's pretty crazy he didn't make some sort of move if he was interested because I agree that letting him sleep in my bed was as bold and obvious a move as I could make without just saying "so you gonna kiss me already or what" haha. But then again so many guys are saying they'd need more of a sign, this is the entire reason why this site exists the signals get missed and misread so easily.

[CathStarr]

From my point of view, I feel that he may be interested in you. I'm not sure if he's REALLY into you or not. However it could be the possibility that he is a good guy. I suggest to try and make the first move but don't jump it. Gradually as time goes show him that you like him more than a friend. Eventually when you feel that he may like you back you could ask him. Another option is to let nature take it course and see what happens between the two of you.

[SomethingWicked]

Sorry, but I think you're friendzoned.

Or, at the very least, he can't read people and just thinks you're being nice/polite.

[techkid]

i wouldve been the same way cause im kinda shy but if i was sleeping with an girl (not sex in bed) i would not have attempted it unless she made the first move and also like anonymous said its a huge risk

[HikerDude]

Yes, I've been with girls I liked but failed to make a move because I wasn't entirely sure if she liked me in that way. It's hard a lot of time for guys to tell if y'all like us. Girls will think they're being totally obvious about it, but to guys it can seem like she's just being nice. This is true because every guy has been through the embarrassment of making a play for a girl who *seemed* to be flirting, only to have her recoil in horror and proclaim that she really only saw him as a friend. It's a minefield, and guys can get scared to make a move for fear that they will get humiliated by a girl for whom we have strong feelings.

Have you every made the first move? If not, then you should know just how intimidating that step can be.

[camille_1441]

I've only made the first move physically one time before, but I feel like I'm almost always initiating communication. This guy is always the one to ask me to hang out so I feel like that's gotta be a good sign, but I feel like usually I'm the one talking to him. And him not even trying to touch me last night in any sort of way really just threw me off. He's a sweet guy, great heart and head on his shoulders and I admire him for all of that. He's a little awkward and shy so it's just really hard to read him. And he's nice as it is so it's just like okay are you being nice to be because you like me or just because that's you and that's how you are?

[HikerDude]

Trust that he likes you. His social awkwardness is making him reticent, but he likes you. Why don't you flirt with him next time by tickling him or some kind of touching that seems innocuous. That would give you both a chance to start really wrestling and touching each other more fully.

[camille_1441]

Ahh he just doesn't seem like the tickling type. Ugh that's the hard part about him he is kind of awkward and shy so for me it's like I'm going through my head like "How do i touch you? What can I do to show you how I feel without freaking you out?" He always gives me a hug hello and goodbye and I don't really feel like he's the hugging type.

[HikerDude]

Don't worry about freaking him out. If things are going to end awkwardly, better you find out now rather than waiting around for him to start grabbing body parts. I think you might be surprised if you just touched him a little or play-fought with him. I think it would break the touch barrier in a major way. That's what I do now with girls because I used to get pushed into the friend zone for waiting too long to touch them. Squeeze his arm and see what happens :-)

[delrey]

I think that he wanted to make a move but was cautious and didn't want to risk it, part of the reason could be that if you felt like he was going to kiss you then he most likely was, you could have been more flirty a little bit more obvious but nothing over the top that way he could have known for sure us guys don't recognize subtle signs, you could have tried kissing him back while you were in the moment. He sounds like a respectable guy like me, I'd hate to misread a girl then lose a friend so that's why guys are cautious. I think he was sort of shy.

[Braveheart4321]

If he is a virgin and/or has very little dating experience, he probably likes you and just doesn't know how to make a move. He is definitely a nice guy and you should keep him as a friend, but if he didn't make a move on you that night, even if he likes you, it is unlikely that he will make one in the future. Honestly though I think he sees you as a sister.

[dthdhdghadh]

Guys don't really friendzone, unless he finds you completely unattractive. Chances are he thinks, as some (young) men do, that women are not all that sexual beings, since they can more easily control their urges in order to playing men like a fiddle or for some other reason has adopted the idea, that the way into a woman's pants would be by being respectful and honorable.

[wolves]

in my opinion he may have feelings for you to based on all the time you have spent togther and from what you told me he seems like a nice guy so he may just be nervous incase he thinks you may not like him that way/ but dont get too down or depressed you never know what will happen till you try good luck love hope this all works out for you

[meatballs21]

I've been scared to make the first move before... you need experience to know what to do and when, and unfortunately you need to make those scary first moves and get them wrong (or right) to learn.

Plus, 5am? I don't blame him for wanting to sleep.

Just as a footnote: you can initiate stuff too. One of my favourite things when I'm in bed with a girl (in bed meaning just in bed, not in bed having sex) is feeling her cuddle up to me or put an arm around me. Worth a try if it happens again...

[camille_1441]

I wanted too I was just scared too. He's really cute and to be honest I can't help but feel like he's out of my League. I feel bad for even thinking that way because it's not nice to myself but it's a little intimidating. I wasn't sure if I was an idiot to think he's even consider me that way :/

[meatballs21]

One of you will have to do *something* if anything's going to happen.

[camille_1441]

That's true I wish I could just get a good enough read to know if he likes me too

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's just respectful, not all guys that are accepted into a bed are just down to mess around that's a social misconception, there's a such thing as taking it slow being friends first and seeing how it naturally evolves why rush? Just be patient and don't overthink it.

[been_waiting]

Maybe he didn't want you to think he was trying anything funny you know? Cuddling often goes awry... plus he was probably exhausted. Could still like you. Guys might be afraid to look like they're trying to use you.

[martyfellow]

He was just asking to crash, and doesn't have deep feelings for you. Don't over analyze. It.

Definitely a nice guy, so don't get depressed.

[McGrad]

He respected you didn't wanna rush things. Probably He's really really interested in you too too much.

[lovekid123]

I think he is just scared to make is move, he might not be sure if you like him like that.

[evenlift]

From what you've said, it sounds like he's just a nice guy.

[L_gant]

He is either gay or not interested.

[camille_1441]

What makes you come to that conclusion I'm just curious?

[L_gant]

You asked him to sleep in your bed and he said no, a blind man could see you wanted to bang and he didn't capitalize on the opportunity. So ya he's either gay or not interested.

[camille_1441]

I think you misread, he didn't say no to sleeping in my bed. He asked to sleep over and offered to sleep on the floor and then I told him he could sleep in my bed and he did, he just didn't try anything. I don't know if that changes anything for you but if so let me know, I'm curious

[L_gant]

So he's probably gay because he was in bed with you and didn't try anything, definitely not interested probably gay. Sorry

[shawn1974player]

Some guys that way maybe you should try flirting first

[Anonymous]

He is waiting for you to make that move because he can't read your signs

[britmarlene]

He's just nervous :) be assertive

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't know you like him, he won't make any moves

[SatanClaus]

He's a nice dood and a keeper.

[EXpoSeDD]

Oh think he might be trying to stay at your pace

[ZepFan16]

He was just shy thats all