Do guys crush on girls even in their thirties??

[Anonymous]

There is this cute guy at work who is funny but waits till he has a lead to be outgoing. He's commented on how I have a great personality and he stares a lot. I catch him sneaking glances and checking me out when I look exceptionally good that day. It's clear he admires me and I've told him I like him but he just does little things like touching me, talks to me, remembers EVERYTHING I tell him, asks me all about me, hugs me a lot and doesn't hug anyone else...just lots of things that lets me know he likes my company. So what's the deal? Is it just a crush and he doesn't want to ruin the fantasy or is he insecure?

Updates

+1 y

THANKS! Your answers are great. He's only a couple of years younger than me. I think he is just an admirer and I believe it's totally possible that he is completely taken. But like the anonymous user we will probably have a sad goodbye one day.

[Anonymous]

Mademoiselle, You are very probably this man's crush...

In any case, kudos! Take this as a good sign. This man sounds like a gentleman... from what you write, he has never been inappropriate with you, only taken with you. In fact, (as you say), quite taken, indeed. It seems that you have smitten this man, bewitched him, perhaps.

How do I know? Every word you describe reads like the history of my former job, which I loved so much, but had to leave. I am a married man with two beautiful children (whom I love dearly)... but I was bewitched, too. I can't explain it. I couldn't keep my eyes off her lovely body, either. In the end, Nicole and I had to say a very teary goodbye. In my heart, I knew she would be very good to me. But she was almost 10 years my junior... and I would never betray the Lady who gave me my two beautiful, most precious children. A good man just doesn't do that.

I know, I know. Some men on this site, might exclaim "You fool!", but you know what? There's a lot to be said for honor... I still miss Nikki sometimes, but at the end of the night, I thank God that all I ever "did" with her was drink, rub her feet, rub her back, and maybe squeeze her (sweet) butt...

In any case, to answer your question:

Do guys in their (late) 30's have crushes... Absolutely! But it's the mettle of the man that defines how he acts on this...

[Subotai]

I think so. They have crushes on younger girls their friends wives and a lot of them love to flirt with cashiers and waitresses. Are these sexual yes and no they have a fatherly nature in how they are applied but I suppose their is a bit of lust their. FOr most men this never manifests itself in even a plan to do something innapropritate. There's like some sort of invisible moral wall for me anyway I don't pass. Often it is very non threatening and cute. As men get older we embrace being social more less trying to act tough, we know the value of human relations more. Crushes are a part of life. They don't usually lead to cheating. As a matter of fact I don't tend to think cheaters cheat with people they have crushes on. They cheat with who they think they can. So wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

I have exact problem, exactly with my co worker, he's 37 and I made really obvious I like him and I think he likes me too, but he also doesn't act on it. At first as you I thought he's married or has a girlfriend, but in every conversation he kinda hints he doesn't have anybody. Like the first time we talked, the first thing he said that his previous relationship ended bad, so he is not into making another, but at the same time shows signs of liking me more than a friend (also sneaks glances at me, checks me out, makes long eye contact, really nervous around me etc.). The next time he kinda was in hurry and said he needs to rush home and I gently ask - So important that he has to rush!...he immediately told he has to bring his dog to his vet (so I wouldn't think he is rushing to wife or something). Also the next time he hinted that kinda lost hopes to find a girl until I came around, but after saying this he kinda started to throw me off, by acting as he doesn't like me like that... I kinda lost hopes that he will ever come around and now I'm being just his friend...I don't expect nothing anymore... I'm convinced it's just a crush...

[TexGal]

LOL! Yes, anyone can have crushes up to the day they die. We're wired to seek and find love. :)

Is he single? These sound like the moves of a man that's taken but is practicing his flirting skills. If he's brave enough to touch you, he should be brave enough to ask you out. Make sure he's single first. (Sorry if I'm assuming too much by our ages. Most 30 year olds with a career are married! LOL!)

If you want him to make a move then you're going to have to give him more positive non-verbal signals that you're interested besides returning his quick glances. Smiling with lots of eye contact works. Talking to him, touching him back on the arm, shoulder, chest are good, etc. Girl, you know what to do!

[Asker]

So funny and so true! I have made LOTS of eye contact and have been very flirty with him. I told him I liked him but he still hasn't made a move so I agree with you, I totally am starting to think he's taken (?wife or girlfriend?) but enjoys the attention and perhaps he's wishing he would have found me sooner. I'll be careful though....got my eyes wide open!!

[felicia]

I've been in a similar situation for years. All the flirting and looking and admiration you describe, and he is 3-4 years younger. Situation continued while we both had relationships, and after he broke up everything came out that he has very strong feelings for me - but STILL doesn't want to date! I am now wondering if it is insecurity (there could be reasons for that because I am generally more respected than he is at work, am better educated, older etc). He says he is afraid it might all be ruined cos we work together while all the while he seems smitten. I don't know what advise to give you. Some men are insane. :(

[PrettyStarLight]

I think he has a girlfriend or is taken somehow. The same thing was happening to me. This guy was totally crushing on me. He never did anything inappropriate but he was always touching me hands, my hair. He was always looking at me. The problem with me is that I finally gave in and told him I liked him. He withdrew. He admitted he had a girlfriend and, although it's sour, they are trying to work it out. These things are bitter sweet indeed. The thing is that just because people are taken it doesn't mean that they won't find someone else attractive, right? Yes, he likes you.

[Allegory]

Short answer, Yes.

It seems more like your question is why he doesn't act on this crush though?

Cause if he is doing all that and your "unsure" if he is crushing I don't know what else he could do other then just grab you and kiss you at this point?

Do you like the guy or don't see him that way?

[Asker]

Totally like the guy. I've let him know and he hasn't done anything yet? So I just don't get it.

[Jolyo91]

My he wants her to make the first move?

[Allegory]

If he is your superior there is some real trouble there and he may feel unable to make any move for the sake of his job and the amount of risk involved if your not discrete and sane?

If he is a superior in title in any way this is most prob it and you just need to make it clear that you can keep work/love seperate and show that you are discrete and trustworthy for him to make a big gamble.

[kriskiss]

ya he def likes you ...age is irrelevant...how old is he though you are in ur 30s if he's 5-10 years younger he might be intimidated but if you like him you gotta give him better hints you like him.. and if you are 5-10 years old hell definitely think you should b the more confident one and would like it if you asked him out and hell definitely comply...if you want him to ask you out you gotta give him better hints you like him. but he def likes u

[Asker]

He's a couple of years younger than me . I am super confident and I told him I was interested in him but he hasn't done anything. I was starting to think he was taken and that's why he just admires me. If that's the situation then I understand why he isn't moving.

[kriskiss]

If you said you were interested and did not respond....but he does like you maybe he's scared. if you are super confident and successful then he may be scared a little cos some guys are intimidated by superconfident women who are older than them. when you said you were interested how did you do it by text in person what exactly did you say and what was his exact response. that will help me decidew what's going on

[Asker]

I am very confident and a lot of people know me. I have a lot of friends and seem to get a lot of attention from lots of people. I think its a tad intimidating because I am well liked by everyone. I just flat out told him I liked him and there was no response except a smile. He was very very nice to me after that.

[Tamikaze]

I doubt he doesn't want to ruin it or that he is insecure. If he was insecure he wouldn't have done most of the things he already has. How much do you know about him? Are you sure he doesn't have a girlfriend? Maybe he doesn't want to go down the road of an office romance because a lot of romances do end and breakups are messy when you work together. How old is he?

[Marfan]

Yes. All the time. But the focus of my crushes is different now. Now it's enjoying physical/sexual beauty to get me in the mood for when I get home to my gorgeous wife. Stokes the fires, as it were. Same with flirting. I would never let it go any farther, and absolutely no suggestions that are not plainly in fun.

[MiserableLonelyPersn]

Yes havnt you heard of what a milf is p**** feels the same wether your 30 or 400 but its better to be around 30 if anything because if your 400 your probly cold wrinkly dead or all of them probly don't have teeth either and a soggy mouth so blowjobs wouldn't be that good...

[Anonymous]

you haven't told us what age is he, btw I believe he wants you and wants to be with you so bad, I personally don't find anything attractive in young girls, older women are always smarter, wiser, more experience, have better insights on their lives, know how to take care of themselves and all that... so it's pretty normal for a young guy to have a crush and fall in love with a lady your age (the hottest range of age at all!) and it would work out easily if you both were serious. good luck

[Asker]

He is only a couple of years younger.

[wraite]

thats a good question to ask him you know what you said.So what,s the deal?better yet, just ask him do wanna have coffee or lunch with me? if he said yes I,d say he,s interested.

[Asker]

Already been done....sometimes he buys me lunch and sometimes I buy him lunch. Telling you...we spend time together but I think it's getting clearer that he's taken.

[wraite]

It,s getting clearer? look I,m a guy telling you to have some BALLS! be more direct that will end the mystery if you like being in your version of a soap opera.JUST ASK HIM! what are you waiting for?

[Anonymous]

Sounds so much like me. I know you are not the woman I had a crush on because the one I like is a couple of years younger then me. But I crushed on her REAL BAD.

I do miss her so. But I am married so I did not act on my feelings for her. Just flirtations as your suitor.

[Gorce]

funny thing about crushes, they can happen to anyone at any age apparently. my last huge crush was only a few years ago. Didn't enjoy it either. but when that oxytocin starts pumpin..ohh man, you can't stop it.

[quantumdefender]

hey, I am 40, and I got a crush on a co-worker. I think everyone knows it. but I won't act on it, I have no sign she feels the same way, and I don't want to be fired for sexual harassment.

so I deal with it, one day at a time.

[Jolyo91]

First of all I guy would have a cruch to a 50 year old women tops if she was pretty and hot. that is before I read the content.

Secondly I bet that he can't even stop thinking about you if he acts the way you discribed it.

[Tipu03March]

It seems to be like a crush on you but there is apossibility that he likes to move ahead to crush then a real life fantasy...and then if so happens I am sure then he had insecure feelings with respect to you.

[Bvroon]

Good for you, I would say it's safe to say is crushing on you, and the development of a crush can happen at any age. I should know I'm in my late 30's and I'm still crushing on my wife. :-)

[SirMagus]

What are you waiting for, this man is obviously crazy about you =P

If he dedicates his only hugs for you and quotes everything you say, sneaks peeks, he is interested.

Have fun.

[girlsguys88]

30something man at WORK touching you?! Not cool. No? And if he's taken, don't you think he's completely amoral?

[Asker]

IMMORAL is the word I think you were looking for and YES. That is why I asked because I like him but I am not sure what his deal is. I don't know if he has anyone or not but I will find out because if he IS flirting with me and he knows I like him I'd like to be clear on his intentions and eliminate any inappropriate behavior. Thanks for your opinion though.

[ptero57]

Why not just casually ask him if he is with somebody? It couldn't hurt, and at the level of flirting you two are at I'd say it's a fairly safe move to make. If you like him enough to post this question, you kinda owe it to yourself to find out, right? : )

[kriskiss]

u mean he is completely taken like he has a girlfriend already-how would you know that...or he is taken with ur beauty..?

[Sexy-Senior-09]

The guy who owns the playboy mansion is like 80 something and he still hits on girls

[dan_i_am]

Umm... Yes, guys totally sniff out girls your age. Don't believe me? Just message me.