Guys, cute guy at gym but he is sending mixed signals... I can't tell if I'm creeping him out or if he's interested?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy at my gym for the past month off and on each week. I could tell he's into me based on his body language-- it was a giveaway. Stares, he started using machines next to me, finally he made an excuse to talk to me, or I *think* it was an excuse. He may have been just being polite, but he seemed shy. I told him my name after, he told me his, I said nice to meet you and he said the same back. I'm into him so I was ecstatic. I try to meet his eyes here and there, but I tend to act standoffish when I don't mean to. Like once I purposely left the same time as he did, but I just walked past him, said excuse me, and left (before we introduced ourselves).

Soo all was good until a few nights ago. Here's where I need your insight. He came into the gym shortly after I had. He parked next to me even though there were more empty spots... Soo he started working out for 20 min, when this girl came in. She looked like 5 years older than him, short and chubby-ish, not very attractive... He's tall and cute and like 20 years old. But then I saw them exchange a few words a couple times, laughing, they definitely knew each other from before. They aren't related because they have different ethnicities. Then cutting his workout short, they both left in her car. They weren't touchy like a couple, they seemed like friends but why would he leave in her car? They were gone for about an hour, he came back and took off in his jeep. Also, I wasn't in the gym when he came back. I was next door getting coffee and noticed it.

I swear he was making gradual moves towards me, and now I'm dumbfounded. Tonight, I went for my normal workout. Then later he came in and went on the machine close to mine again. I couldn't meet his eyes because I thought maybe this girl was his girlfriend and they were making fun of me. Soo I looked at the tv and not at him. He got up to leave shortly after, he had his headphones out... I got up to leave as he was walking to the door. He didn't wait for me; I was cleaning my machine.. I feel like if he wanted to talk to me he could have waited since I was finishing up. He took off in his car when I walked out the door.

I am SO beyond confused.

[Anonymous]

I could be off but it seems like he is interested. The friend could just be that, a friend. You gave him a mixed signal too by watching the tv instead of saying hi to him. Why would he go to the machine close to yours again if he was "making fun of you"? It makes no sense. Why would he wait for you if you acted more interested in the tv than him? Again, I could be wrong, but, maybe he is just as confused as you are. Say hi next time, if you're interested too, then show it, and the confusion will end.

[Asker]

You're right. I just get so nervous and shy. I always feel like a creep or something...

[Opinion Owner]

Why would you think you're being a creep? Next time, just say hi, smile, and ask him how he's doing.

[Asker]

Ha, ha I don't know. I need to rid of these negative thoughts. But I will definitely put in more effort to say hi and say something. It's just silly to obsess over and do nothing. I guess I just want to be sure he is actually diggin me.

[Opinion Owner]

What do you mean you want to be sure? Body language, goes and uses the machine next to you, finds an excuse to talk to you. Seems pretty clear to me. Did you ever do anything to show him you're interested too?

[Asker]

Well it's the machine next to the one next to mine, not right next door... But he only uses it if I am on that machine.
The only things I have done are meet eye contact with him, I left the gym twice at the same time (immediately after he got off his machine) as he did, going next to him on the way out... Other than that, I guess nothing. I was friendly when he talked to me and I was the one who offered my name first. So if I actually say hi to him and ask how he's doing is that a good step from here? Or would he have asked for my number when I told him my name and we talked? I see him about 2-3 times a week. Thanks for your help!

[Opinion Owner]

Yea, i would say just say hi and ask him how his day's been, or some small talk about something, or just 'find an excuse' to talk to him. Just because he didn't ask for your number doesn't mean he's not interested. Maybe he's scared of rejection, or maybe he's trying to feel it out first (how does he know you don't have a boyfriend)? Who really knows? Don't be afraid about feeling "creepy" or being rejected or any of that. The regret from not even trying is way worse than that. talk to him, maybe he needs a little nudge

[Asker]

You're right, definitely. The worst that can happen is that he's unreceptive for his own reasons. And I suppose that won't be that bad since it's just a slight crush.

Okay! It's decided, I will strike up a convo next time. Thank you for the little push :)

[Opinion Owner]

Good I'm glad you're gona do it! I hope you walk out with a big smile on your face :)

[Asker]

Thank you ^.^ I hope so too!

[sunnyfire25]

I am so shy myself, I don't have the balls to ask a girl I like. You have to invite him to do something with you, next time he talks to you, do you want to get coffee or something then get his number. He will start texting you. I usaully give up because I don't have the balls, just wiat he is into u but you have to make it easy for a shy guy. Don't expect him to ask you we shy guys can't just do that, it hard for us. Invite him to something next time and smile at him and say hi next time.

[RasmusAiken]

Go up to him and smile and slip him a note. Take a risk and put yourself out there girl.

[Asker]

So it isn't coming on too strong if I slip him a note? I was tempted to but thought I may come across as too thirsty lol

[RasmusAiken]

For there to be any connection with this guy, SOMEBODY has to take a chance. He's obviously interested but shy. So he doesn't respond . . . . have you lost anything?

[Asker]

True. Nothing to lose.

[Anonymous]

Do not I repeat do NOT approach someone at the gym. It's inappropriate

[Figleaf]

You're thinking this shit to death. Make a move.