How do I stop getting approached by sleazy men and attract a better class of man? (Page 2)

Anonymous · 2010-02-19T18:20:09Z

I am intelligent and I want to come across this way without compromising my looks. I keep getting approached by sleazy looking men and feel that my look does not appeal to good/intelligent/smart men and was wondering what I could do about it. Is this something all women face or is there something I can do to stop it? A lot of people tell me I'm attractive... but instead of normal or attractive men approaching me, I keep getting approached by such disgustingly sleazy men with sex on the brain. Whilst many women tell me I'm pretty, I have a look which seems to really, really appeal to losers. Let me make this clear: I am not discriminative of men based on how they look. Guys of my age who look average or even not hot are fine for me as long as they are well-intentioned. But I am discriminative of men based on them having a look which says they should not be lusting after young girls. The guys I'm talking about are often older, fat, slimey, lustful looking men. Not to be racist but they are usually ethnic minorities from countries that don't respect women. So, my image: I have long blonde hair, but only because my hair is naturally blonde and I can't afford to get it cut that often with the prices. I wear non-provocative clothes i.e. trainers/sneakers, jeans, normal shirt and jacket. I wear a little eye-liner, mascara and concealer. Not heavy make-up. How do I attract the right kind of man? p.s. obviously I don't go to bars/clubs and expect to meet decent men. I'm talking about malls, internet cafes, libraries. I'm petite and I think there is something about me which looks vulnerable. How do I counter this? Does hair colour really make a difference in how men judge women (be honest)? I'm a natural light blonde and as I'm so fair, I don't think dark hair would suit me but if it meant being taken seriously I would definitely do it.

Anonymous

(30-35)

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shf84 Follow
Xper 6 Age: 57

+1 y

Not sure where your living but I suspect the cause of your problem is the aria your in. Your right about these third world trash though, I've seen this kind of crap before from them. I don't think it's your look I think it's that your around a lot of filth. You should probably move. As to the type of men you want to attract just go after guys like that. If you wait for them to come to you your severely limiting your chances of finding one.

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angelina0708 Follow
Xper 4 Age: 46

+1 y

I dress normally, just like you do, shirt and jeans, but I'm starting to wonder if it may be the outward impression you are leaving by your behaviors and especially the way you dress.
A friend of mine dresses similar to Victoria Beckham, and if you didn't know who she was, you could only assume that she was a working woman, upper class and that she's possibly a millionaire and well to do person...someone not many people could or would appoarch. I plan to do an experiment in getting a couple of outfits (I have the perv problem, too) that would be similar to outfits that would give that impression of someone upper class and note the reactions I get. I suggest try it out and see what reactions you get. And if my hypothesis is wrong, then bad on me. ^^

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jenn33 Follow
Xper 7 Age: 40

+1 y

the fact that you are approached by them may show that you look naive to them. you look like a little girl.

mature girls dress up more. they don't wear sneakers. they wear nice heels, makeup, do their hair, and nicer clothing. you don't have to spend a lot of money.

the way you are dressed is how you are addressed. you can be stylish and conservative. then you will start looking CONFIDENT and then only CONFIDENT men will come to you.

(I just had this problem, by the way)

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- choctawmicmac
  
  +1 y
  This is a take on "you have to be suited and booted" every time you get behind the wheel of your car if you have brown skin and get pulled over a lot by racist cops and given bullshit tickets or otherwise harassed over little to nothing. You can try that, I have, at times, and I've gotten nothing but tired feet and dirty dry-clean-only suit type clothes and still attract SOME sleazebag perverts and some racist cops. My current boyfriend and I met at the hostel where we were both staying and he first saw me behind my Macbook (at the time it was an iBook G4) and asked me if I could let him use it to initialize his iPhone. I didn't think an older Mac could DO that so he found someone with a newer Macbook but I noticed then that he looked like my father in his younger years... later he wanted me to try to help him get into Yale... now THAT's a keeper. OK so he's half my age... and Bi-...
  
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- choctawmicmac
  
  +1 y
  I think my point there is that the difference is HOW you meet, under what circumstances. Living in a hostel, of course I wasn't "suited and booted" the first time we met - but I had my head behind an Apple laptop computer. And I type like 95 words/minute.
  
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skinnyb82 Follow
Xper 4 Age: 42

+1 y

As a rule, unattractive men usually have the biggest balls when it comes to approaching women. Why? They've got nothing to lose and they're used to being rejected. If you're attractive, you're a target. The better looking guys aren't used to rejection so they're less inclined to approach you so you might wanna consider approaching them. About your age, I'm old (enough) and I can't tell the difference between a 21 year old and a 17 year old.

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GIntrovert Follow
Xper 2 Age: 40 , mho 33%

+1 y

Usual guys who don't grow up in countries were females and males are equal, usual assume a female will try and find any man to marry...

Decent men don't go around ask ever girl they see out... you have to do some work yourself to find them.

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zoolander Follow
Xper 4 Age: 34

+1 y

To be honest, not many well off classy men will be going after a 17 year old, If you want to be noticed more by these types of men maybe try wearing something like cocktail dresses or just smart casual and high heels are a must.

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juicyfruit_87 Follow
Xper 4 Age: 36

+1 y

Don't change who you are. You're right and they are wrong, the sleazy disgusting men should have to conform to some other, more appealing position. Let the sleazebags change.

Keep your natural hair color.

Wear the same clothes.

Keep your standards high.

It takes a strong person to be themselves... if you changed to attract these so called "good guys" that just goes to show they are sleazebags too.

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ALWAYSclassy Follow
Yoda Age: 36 , mho 61%

+1 y

you might look kind of vulnerable and soft and this look may appeal to guys that want to "dirty" a girl like you up. when it comes to guys like that a good scowl and eye roll is appropriate.

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Anonymous
(30-35)

+1 y

Can you sort of flesh out some of the characteristics that slimey guys have & "non-slimey" guys don't? Then people can offer well considered suggestions re: how you might make yourself less attractive to the former and more attractive to the latter.

Sincerely

Slimey P. Slimeworth III

Slimeologist-at-large

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angeleyes26 Follow
Xper 5 Age: 40 , mho 31%

+1 y

I have the same problem and I'm 26 and blonde wish it would stop there creepy I hope it stops for you sooner

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godsgifttowoman Follow
Xper 5 Age: 45 , mho 56%

+1 y

Wear an ugly pair of glasses and give a bitch look... You will loook intelligent, and rebel most men.

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Misadventures Follow
Xper 5 Age: 34 , mho 67%

+1 y

Pretty girls attract creepers -this is a sad fact of life. The only thing you can do is make sure they know you are NOT interested.

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Reeses-pieces777 Follow
Guru Age: 36 , mho 60%

+1 y
999 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

just be more selective and get to know the guy better before you do anything with him if he's potentially 'slimy'.

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shes-a-lady Follow
Xper 3 Age: 34 , mho 38%

+1 y

i know how you feel! this could have been one of my questions :)

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Anonymous
(30-35)

+1 y

The guy who said proximity is half the battle is a genius , Those sleazy guys are sick I had when I go out and see a guy acting like a d*** to get in her pants, it just gets to me. if any of those weird guys tries to get too close to you get them with pepper spray. My big sis was like this and all the sleazy balls were always after her. she started acting like a bitch and they just stopped bugging her...(she started overreacting to anything they said which scared them, It was hilarious)

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josesmaf Follow
Yoda Age: 37

+1 y

Find out where the good guys hang out, and go there. Proximity is half the battle.

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ixi10 Follow
Master Age: 37 , mho 36%

+1 y

It's not your appearance or what you wear. Your problem is where you hang out

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chiefnavarro Follow
Xper 3 Age: 37

+1 y

hey I'm an ethnic minority and I probably one of the best guys you'll never meet.

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Shy_Steve Follow
Yoda Age: 40

1 y

The Best way is to Approach the Guys you do like otherwise that's going to keep happening.

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jokerforlifeny Follow
Xper 5 Age: 33

+1 y

Change your outfit, hair style make it more sophisticated

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