Is a foot massage and cuddling cheating?

[Anonymous]

My best friend is a married woman. We dated 10 years ago but have remained best friends ever since. She's been married for close to 4 years now. She's known about my foot fetish since we used to date. After we broke up, she still loved to have me massage her feet and lick them and kiss them. She also liked to get full-body massages from me which were often intimate (not sexual, just a bit closer than 'friends' typically get). This would pretty much always end in cuddling. When she got married I assumed that would be the end of that, and I was fine with it. He's a great guy and I'm happy for them both. But just over a year ago, we began to have intimate moments again like we used to. We haven't had sex and neither of us seem to be looking for that. But one day as I was caressing her stomach under her shirt, I let my hand wander and fondled her breast for a few seconds, and she didn't seem to mind. Still, it's not something I've done again. Her husband is great and really loves her, but I know that he's not keen on giving massages. The foot fetish stuff, massages and cuddling is just something she and I have always had, so maybe it just feels normal? I know she loves her husband. And I certainly have no desire to steal her from him. And their marriage is really strong. But I'm pretty sure this is our secret. Ladies, we're not having sex. I'm not looking for sex (not from her, anyway!) Is it safe for me to assume she isn't either? Am I just giving her the one little thing her husband isn't in their otherwise excellent marriage? I just want a female point of view.

[ArizonaRX]

Well, I know you want a females opinion, but I must say that it is cheating if her husband doesn't know about it and if her husband does know about it and if fine with another man putting his hands all over this wife's body and cuddling with her, then the marriage isn't as strong as you have suggested.

Plan and simple if she must go to any other man for massages, she should go and pay for them at a professional massage parlor. They do feet too.

She's taking advantage of you and of course you like it and she feels that there is nothing wrong with this? regardless of you guys having sex or not, the fondling and cuddling as a secret is dishonest to her husband and their marriage. It's cheating.

What if the husband went to an old girlfriend for massages and in turn was getting hand jobs from her? Would that little secret be ok with his wife?

I don't mean to go at you here man, I'm just pointing this more towards her.

[palek]

How would you feel if your were married and your wife was spending this kind of quality time with another man? Would you consider it cheating?

[Asker]

Actually, I wouldn't. But I know that's not common.

[palek]

Uncommon indeed. I'd be hot if it were my wife.

[DuffyGal]

The simplest answer for whether something is cheating or not is to ask this: If you are doing something with someone outside of your relationship that you would NOT do in front of your significant other, then it's cheating. If your female "friend" would do all of that stuff in front of her hubby, then it's not cheating, but the fact that she wouldn't and that it's a secret means it's cheating.

[Anonymous]

wow ummm...idk dude. I was kinnddaaa with you until you said that she let you "fondle her breast". No married woman should let a "friend" do that to her. Licking, sucking, and "carressing" anything is crossing the line when your married, and that person isn't you significant other. Sorry *shrugs*

[Akikosmile]

Clearly this is blessed cheating, and fun at that. I have no idea what she expects from you but don't be surprised if SHE makes a move on you. I'd stop the tickling, and definitely stay away from her breast if you want to stay out of trouble.

[dancexnxthexrain]

Cheating.