Why do I always push girls who like me away?

[Anonymous]

I've never had a girlfriend before, and I like to tell myself that it's because girls simply aren't interested in me. That's not truly the case; it's only a defense mechanism. The fact of the matter is that whenever there's a girl I like who I know is interested in me, I push her away. I sabotage every potential romantic relationship before it even has a chance to begin. Why am I doing this? How can I stop?

[NMMan]

It sounds like it might be a fear of the unknown, since you mentioned that you've never been in a relationship before. You're trying to protect yourself from being hurt by shutting things down before they even have a chance to get started. As already mentioned, the key is to take things slow and casual, especially at the beginning. Dating is really just an extended, informal process of getting to know each other which shouldn't really involve any pressure. Just get to know the other person and if it seems like there's some potential, just take things one step at a time. Best of luck to you! :-)

[dancechickk]

I kind of do this, too. I think you might be scared of commitment because you just haven't experienced it and don't really know what to expect. The best thing to do would be to get to know the girl really well and date first instead of a full-on relationship. That way you don't have pressure to be so serious when you hardly know each other. You can see if she's really worth it and if you want to be more serious about it! Good luck.

[toulouse]

What is the problem? Why can't you just hang out & se how you like each other I mean you don't have to have like monumental changes just take it SLOOOOW & if you like each other let it go up gradually- little by little so you are always relatively comfortable - just don't get with girls who are impatient & demanding.