Why do lovers become strangers?

[Anonymous]

It's a pretty hard thing to comprehend for me anyways. You meet a girl. Spend some time together. Go out. Enjoy the time that you're with them together. It might be a month, 6 months, 2 years, and so on. Most of the times it ends good. You live the fairy tell that we've always heard about. However, most of the times you end up breaking up.

You break up. Things are said. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's ugly. You accept that fact and there is nothing else you can do about it. Now for the part I don't get. You two shared maybe some of the best moments in your life so far. You enjoyed each other's company. You were best friends.

Now after the breakup one of the partners acts like it never even happened. As if it never phased them. On to the next guy as if she's changing her shirt. Hell, you sometimes even see the person at a mutual friends house. You say your hellos but then go your separate ways. Like two strangers who had never spent anytime together before.

How can someone not be affected. I'm pretty sure 2 years down the road if I saw her walking down the sidewalk, she wouldn't even acknowledge me. It's a hard thing to comprehend. At least for me anyways.

[MC-loves-SC]

hi dear

i will say it is hard

when you love someone and feel that's only thing you want in your life. but after while . you change yourself like you don't know each other at all

That thing happen to me too I loved a man and I still love him . we work at same place

we still love each other because I know my love was true and believe "love is forever"

At work he behave like strangers I know he don't want it . but?

all I will say to you that if you love someone and you really mean it then please don't lie to them ./. I love him and because I lied to him . now he is not with me

i am still waiting for him. I don't care what happen but I will wait for my man forever

MY LoVE is TRUE

SC-loves-MC

[Asker]

I guess you said it best "love is forever". I'm in high school and everyone is like oh you guys are too young, you don't understand yet. I disagree though. No matter how young or old you are emotions are emotions. I didn't lie to her. In fact our relationship just grew distant. I guess she got bored and wanted some new and that is what she is doing now. I accept the part of the break-up. The part that sucks is the stranger part. Might as well be if we never even met.

[hunnybunny81105]

I feel the same way. How people just feel that way. My first relationship was five years and we grew together. Although we aren't compatible I will always cherish those moments and care for him a lot or at least the "him" in my past. I would like to catch up some time in conversation but he treats me like a stranger ever since his new girl. They got married and he's not allowed to talk or add me on Facebook. I do miss him though. And it's been over two years. I'm in a better relationship now but I'm just saying those memories I won't forget.

[sanam]

well, I'm a girl and I don't get why some women and even men behave like that!

i guess, in the case of a woman, maybe she feels like she needs to show the world that she is strong and can deal with the situation totally on her own!

maybe its her way of convincing herself that she's over whatever happened and that she needs to move on!

but that only for some women, I my case, I guess if you really liked someone, it might be hard to have any semblance of a relationship with the guy! especially if the break-up was nasty!

[Miss-Spicy]

Sometimes they weren't as invested in the relationship as you were. Then other times, they are hurting too but it's better to pretend and try and forget.

If your moments together were mutually life changing, she has not forgotten about them. She just may be trying to forget about you because not having you is too painful.

Good luck!

[Acuzio]

The people that you describe use avoidance as a coping mechanism in order to shut you out of their minds so that they can move on. To them, talking about the past, good or bad, would be like admitting to failure or dwelling on negative feelings. These people may take their unresolved baggage with them into the next relationship.

After the feelings of jealousy are over between a broken-up couple, if you're the person who has been receiving the cold shoulder, try contacting the other person. They may appreciate talking through what happened and why it went wrong. This discussion might help you to prevent the same problems from happening in future relationships, and if you still have a deep bond, you may discover that friendship is possible.

[Just-A-Random-Guy]

Beats me. I will always cherish memories and wish the exes a happy life and make sure to tell them "Happy Birthday" and such to let them know I care. My ex of two years just texted me to wish me a Happy Birthday, but I was expecting nothing less than a phone call. It is what it is.

[bubblegumcandy2]

from either side, if someone hurt you, you would want to treat them like a stranger, nobody wants to be hurt doesn't mean it doesn't phase them. and if you hurt someone, you probly wouldn't have the words to say sorry and talk. most people dont, or it takes a while before they actually want to talk about what happened, or not at all.

[iGotThis-]

Maybe she just doesn't want to think about it and hides her feelings because she is scared of thinking about everything that was great. Sometimes people need to hide their feelings to move on. Maybe this is was she is doing.